Selfish teens who literally do nothing!!

[Meltinthemiddle]

I've just asked my ds16 (he's still in bed) if he could help his dad quickly to move a tumble dryer into the car and he said "No can't be bothered". We've had real issues with him lately staying out late, drinking, smoking had SS worker involved etc so it's been hard and we've had to pick our battles. But we've tried to rebuild the relationship basing it in respect and communicating better. We have just managed to come through it and things have calmed down although he's still pushing things but we've been trying to treat him more like an adult. However part of me can't wait for him to move out! It's just take, take, take! And it's draining and unrewarding! He doesn't do anything to help what so ever. Hasn't made any effort ot get a summer job he's just a selfish brat and I honestly feel he doesn't give two shits about anyone except his mates and gf!!

Well, when he asks where his tea is later, tell him you couldn't be bothered cooking for him. Same for his laundry. If he wants to be treated like an adult then it works both ways... Sometimes teenagers can have their moments, but there is no excuse for blatant rudeness like that.

That sounds awful, OP. I have a dc the same age, and she is not at all like this, so I don't think it's par for the course. How would he react if you explained how disappointed you are by his response?

I've told him I was disappointed and that if it was for his gfs parents I bet he would do it!! To be honest he spends all day in bed, goes out in the afternoon and not back until 11pm. He's barely eats at home as always out with his gf. And all he eats with her is rubbish so I've been pandering to him taking him breakfast and tea in bed to make sure he's looking after himself as obviously I'm worried about him. I've picked him up and dropped him off places whenever I can. Just trying to keep things positive rather then arguing. But the one time we ask s for a favour and he's like that makes me think stuff it let him do a rubbish job of looking after himself!

Well, there you go, you've said you pander to him. Tough love is called for. Establish guidelines/rules that should have been laid down from his birth. Don't let him get away with this. And if he doesn't abide by your rules, tell him he has to move out. You won't help him by pandering to him. Trust me!