DD anxious about year 10

[Feelingbad2]

My DD - age 14 has become very anxious in the last few days. She has had some end of year assessments and is saying she feels pressured. She is in top set for all subjects and has absolutely nothing to worry about, we aren’t putting any pressure on her but she says she’s still really stressed and worried about going into year 10. She will do two GCSEs early in year 10 and says she’s not ready for it. She’s hardly eating and saying she feels sick all the time, and is very tearful. Has anyone got any advice? I’ve spoken to the pastoral team at school who have had a chat with her but she’s saying it’s not helped how she is feeling.

This is horrible, for you and her. I think the thing to stress is that it doesn't actually matter how she does, what really matters is if she has tried her best. She may be anxious about results. I would reassure her that as long as she has tried hard you will be completely happy with whatever the results are.

My DD is also 14 and extremely anxious so I totally know what you are going through.

Good luck to both of you.

year 10 is just like the other years. honestly once she’s out the other side she will look back and think it was a walk in the park. get her to speak to any older relatives/friends. if there are still year 11s in the school see if she can speak to a prefect. nothing really you or any teachers can say will change how she feels it needs to come from kids who have just come through it

Unfortunately this is quite common for girls, particularly in top sets, to feel a lack of confidence in their abilities (and imposter syndrome about being in the top set). There can be a perfectionism, where anything going even slightly wrong is a disaster, and worrying about things that might go wrong can be overwhelming.

Fresh air, exercise and hobbies that are not academic are really important. Reassurance that she is capable of doing well, that while she might not feel ready for her Y10 GCSEs now but they will spend next year preparing for them so that she will be ready is important. And if they don't go well, that's fine, they can be used as a learning experience to work out what to do differently for Y11.

Thank you, I have told her that her trying her best is enough for us. She has since told me that she’s also worried because I am starting a new job that is full time and involves a commute compared to part time and very close to home. I think it’s a combination of things that are making her anxious. She woke me at 5 this morning because she wanted a cuddle 😢