Should 13 year old boy prepare for exams themselves

[Wsam]

Hi,
This is my first time on mumsnet and I am worried about my son’s attitude towards his education. He is good in studies but very irresponsible. For example he do things very last minute and basically I need to dig him and ask him, if there is any test or homework due tomorrow that you need to submit.
My husband had come to the point that he said now we both won’t tell him anything and he needs to take his responsibilities himself. I don’t know if that is right to do at this age, he is in year 7 and just started his school.
I am worried that if he would forget and his grades goes down he will be in lower set and that will be very upsetting for him.
Please anyone advise should I leave him to make mistakes and learn himself?

At this age they definitely still benefit from being helped to understand how to study. One of my kids is y8 and today we went through organising a study plan as he hadn’t done one yet!! (Tests on 2 weeks’ time!) I had assumed that he was doing this at school but it’s not one of the things they have gone through.

Strategies gained from junior school won’t necessarily work in high school because there is so much more content to get through.

I think there are probably online courses and books on time management and revision techniques that would be worth looking at.

Good luck with it!

No he's too young to leave to his own devices if he is not a natural organiser

Try it.

It depends on the child. My older dc could be left to get on with it but I’ve spent the evening with dc2 (aged 13) helping him to study for a science test. He’s also disorganised and doesn’t really know how to study efficiently.
I think it’s good to help him while he’s young. Hopefully by the time it comes to GCSEs, he’ll learn how to study.

I think many kids benefit from parental help at this age. However, unless he does develop an intrinsic motivation, he will probably run into problems at some point.

I agree with you, be involved. At that age my DS needed help, he sat at the kitchen table and we went through (while I cooked) what homework was due or what revision needed doing. He was a compliant boy but very easily distracted. He used a timer and could only manage 20 mins without a little break. I did it every day and that way we kept on top of it pretty easily. He is now 17 and organising his own revision etc. He is very appreciative of the help I gave him when he was less mature. He sometimes mentions when he had a set of year 8 summer exams when he did much better than his teachers expected and the feeling of success was I think a turning point for him.

Of course it depends on your family situation, if you have little ones who need you at the same time it can be stressful or just not possible. I just had my DD who has always been super organised so I was able to give him some attention.

Thanks everyone!! Let’s see how it goes in year 8.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/4245009-Teen-motivation?msgid=107605402

This recent thread might help with some tips. Agree with pp, they need to be taught study techniques as they don't really do much of this in school. I would do this a year or two before their first formal exams so they get into the habit of little and often, find out through trial and error what works for them and appreciate the benefits in end of year/unit or class tests

Your husband sounds like mine! Just leave him, he’ll learn by his mistakes, if he fails he fails.....

They absolutely need to be guided and taught how to study. I’m the ‘nag’ in this house who always tries hard to make this happen but it never does, but because dad doesn’t say anything he feels it’s ok to let it go. Start to find coping strategies for him now and make sure he knows he has plenty support