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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Ds 14 has decided to be vegan, feeling concerned!

65 replies

Beardie03 · 09/06/2021 20:10

I knew the vegetarianism was coming but today he's announced he wants to be Vegan. He seems to have done lots of research on nutrition and how he can make sure he gets all the right nutrients, he said he prepared to cook and clean up for himself. I'm just concerned for him, is this really sensible for a 14 year old who is still growing. Will it make him an outcast socially, I'm thinking, will anyone want him at their house to eat anymore. Does anyone have any experience of veganism and teenagers? Help!!

OP posts:
MoiraQueen · 10/06/2021 20:15

I've always suffered from low ferritin too and that's on a meat diet. I think buy him some liquid iron like spatone

Tbf, being male might give him an advantage as they need less iron anyway. I take prescribed iron even when eating meat, although I can't stomach red meat. Last time my ferritin dropped to 10 after 2yrs of vegetarianism, DD has been as low as 4.
Your DS will probably be fine, I just mentioned it as something to keep an eye on.

Beardie03 · 10/06/2021 22:01

@MoiraQueen

I've always suffered from low ferritin too and that's on a meat diet. I think buy him some liquid iron like spatone

Tbf, being male might give him an advantage as they need less iron anyway. I take prescribed iron even when eating meat, although I can't stomach red meat. Last time my ferritin dropped to 10 after 2yrs of vegetarianism, DD has been as low as 4.
Your DS will probably be fine, I just mentioned it as something to keep an eye on.

Mine went down to 2 on a balanced meat eating diet....Blush
OP posts:
Merchymor · 10/06/2021 22:11

I've been vegan since I was 16, so over 30 years (female).

I get blood tests every so often as there's a family history of hypothyroidism. No iron or B12 issues at all.

I do now take a fizzy B vits in water every morning but haven't always and I do eat a mostly unprocessed diet.

Protein really isn't an issue.

As for social problems it depends on his friends. Most of mine were veggie at that age anyway.

If it's something he cares about deeply then I doubt any hostility will put him off.

SprayedWithDettol · 10/06/2021 22:15

I’ve been vegan for many many years and I’m v healthy.

If your son is keen to cook perhaps have a look at the Bosh! cookbooks. They are written by a couple of 20/30 year old men and the food is fabulous. I’m sure he will enjoy the recipes.

Merchymor · 10/06/2021 22:17

@SprayedWithDettol

I’ve been vegan for many many years and I’m v healthy.

If your son is keen to cook perhaps have a look at the Bosh! cookbooks. They are written by a couple of 20/30 year old men and the food is fabulous. I’m sure he will enjoy the recipes.

Good call, the peanut and jam brownie is lush!
MoiraQueen · 10/06/2021 22:23

Mine went down to 2 on a balanced meat eating diet....blush

ShockI was barely dragging myself about at 10, I've no idea how DD was still functioning at 4.

MoiraQueen · 10/06/2021 22:26

Thug kitchen books are good, if a little sweary, also some of Leon's books.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 10/06/2021 22:43

This is a massive red flag for developing an Eating disorder, how tall is he? 7.5stone at age 14 seems very light.

Any weight loss can trigger anorexia especially in teens.

I personally would not allow it knowing now what I know about the links to Eating disorders. Teens need a huge amount of calories (at least 2600 but can be as much as 3600 or more if growing.) Their diet needs fats in it for brain development and the easiest fats IMO to get into them are butter and cream.

Cormoran · 11/06/2021 05:31

@Beardie03 your concerns are justified and I am going to explain why and why I disagree with the majority of what has been said so far.
By the way, I am vegan.

A person can absolutely be nutritionally balanced on a VEGan diet, and this is what is missing from your son's diet and the majority of the recommendation you have received here.
To be nutritionally complete, covering all your minerals and vitamins you need to eat whole food, whole grains, dark leafy greens, legumes such as chickpeas and lentils, tofu or tempeh, seeds colourful vegetables and fruits.

To make it short, what matters is what you eat not what you avoid, in this case, animal products.

In the case of a well designed vegan diet, the only supplement you need is B12, but in your case you need to supplement everything because I don't see the calcium, the magnesium , the zinc, the vitamin, the iodine, the omega 3 (EPA_DHA very important for the brain)

Oat milk is very sweet and the most milk-like product but also the most nutrient void compared to the high protein of soy or the calcium of almond milk.

All the ultra-processed food such as the fake sausage, fake burgers, fake whatever, protein shakes made with extract should be limited to rare occasion and not the staple of the diet .
Ultra-processed food is junk, it doesn't matter if vegan or not.

A human will build his bone density capital during adolescence so calcium rich food are very important, kale is high in calcium, broccoli and despite what many think, spinach is very bad because its calcium can't be absorbed, so calcium on paper but not on the body.
You should also remember that calcium is needed for teeth as well. Calcium needs K2 to be absorbed in the bones and not in the arteries. K2 is present in meat/eggs and the vegan sources are fermented food, so sauerkraut , natto.

It is true that protein minimal need is 0.75g/kg but this isn't the optimal need which is probably higher in a vegan adolescent.

You say he has done his research however I wonder where because ion the same way you the mum came to Mumsnet, a teen will search onto on social media, tiktok or YouTube,

You need to buy and both of you read a vegan nutrition book to understand the very basics of vegan nutrition . www.amazon.co.uk/Becoming-Vegan-Comprehensive-Reference-Plant-based/dp/1570672970/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=becoming+vegan&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1623383838&sr=8-1 this is a good one.

A good nutritional analysis tool is cronometer.com. Free of charge and way superior to MFP. It will highlight the nutrition content of the food you log. The line turns green, you are good for that nutrient.

Of course, the nutrient on a database for an apple might be very different from the apple you buy and most importantly , the body 's ability to absorb and use a nutrient is determined by many things including genetics.

Even with the most carefully designed diet plan, revised by dietician , one can very easily become malnourished . You should have blood in 6 months time to see where you stand. Including the Omega 3 index.

I strongly recommend to take a quality multivitamin while you figure out how to get the nutrients from the diet.

Being vegan without the VEG part is a path for malnutrition and probably weight gain . You should verify the origin of his "research" in a non inquisitive way, say you are interested in knowing more, and t tell you about it.

So far, the diet you described he is eating is like a dessert with the exception of his marmite sandwich. Try to switch from the sweet and processed breakfast porridge to rolled oats, with flaxseeds (grounded) , some blueberries. More fresh fruit than dried apricots (to prevent mould they add additives, read the packet).

It is a learning curve. Will his diet be perfect , no , especially not the packed lunch, but you control dinner and breakfast and weekend, so it is what you buy and cook that will make the difference.

The whole family could have several meals which are accidentally vegan such as soups and Dahl, Mexican dishes with rice, black beans , avocado, tomatoes, onions...

It might actually be a great thing for the whole family. Involve your son in creating a dinner with 4 vegetables 1 grain, 1 legume.

Have cooked quinoa in the fridge and he can add a spoonful to his plate. Think roasted veggies in the oven and you add marinated tofu slices for him.

sashh · 11/06/2021 06:02

Sorry but you sound old and out of touch. Amongst us young people, not eating meat is more respectable than eating meat! He certainly won’t be an outcast. Your views are incredibly outdated.

How rude. In some circles it is very common but not everywhere and as the OP is supporting her child and asking questions potentially hurtful.

OP

My rock climbing, sailing, cycling nephew is vegan. He hasn't an ounce of fat on him but he eats a LOT so you might find your shopping basket gets heavier.

Where I live there are a lot of Asian shops including 2 supermarkets and they are great to get, not just fruit and veg, but tins of veg you can have in the cupboard.

Although I'm a meat eater I do like vegi / vegan food too. I have a book called, "vegan on the go" which is basically vegan packed lunches but has some interesting ideas like making your own mozzarella from, er, I can't remember if it is soy or almond milk.

Another idea for lunch boxes is a bento box. I was not eating healthily at work so got one with permeant dividers, for me it was about ensuring each meal had a carb, a protein, fruit and veg but that can easily be applied to vegan food.

www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/jerome-eckmeier/vegan-on-the-go/9780241295564?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8IaGBhCHARIsAGIRRYoTaTl7JAoPSgSuuUqKPoRWNW5_9MJHpILOyzm2VnlVkvvFzeYNd80aAgJLEALw_wcB

Beardie03 · 11/06/2021 07:33

@MoiraQueen

Mine went down to 2 on a balanced meat eating diet....blush

ShockI was barely dragging myself about at 10, I've no idea how DD was still functioning at 4.

This was all through my teenage years too and they just gave me iron tables. I had such heavy periods , it was awful plus I don't think I absorb iron well, my mum was always the same.
OP posts:
Beardie03 · 11/06/2021 07:35

[quote sashh]Sorry but you sound old and out of touch. Amongst us young people, not eating meat is more respectable than eating meat! He certainly won’t be an outcast. Your views are incredibly outdated.

How rude. In some circles it is very common but not everywhere and as the OP is supporting her child and asking questions potentially hurtful.

OP

My rock climbing, sailing, cycling nephew is vegan. He hasn't an ounce of fat on him but he eats a LOT so you might find your shopping basket gets heavier.

Where I live there are a lot of Asian shops including 2 supermarkets and they are great to get, not just fruit and veg, but tins of veg you can have in the cupboard.

Although I'm a meat eater I do like vegi / vegan food too. I have a book called, "vegan on the go" which is basically vegan packed lunches but has some interesting ideas like making your own mozzarella from, er, I can't remember if it is soy or almond milk.

Another idea for lunch boxes is a bento box. I was not eating healthily at work so got one with permeant dividers, for me it was about ensuring each meal had a carb, a protein, fruit and veg but that can easily be applied to vegan food.

www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/jerome-eckmeier/vegan-on-the-go/9780241295564?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8IaGBhCHARIsAGIRRYoTaTl7JAoPSgSuuUqKPoRWNW5_9MJHpILOyzm2VnlVkvvFzeYNd80aAgJLEALw_wcB[/quote]
Thank you, this is so helpful. I did reply to that lady who said I was out of touch and explained we live j a very rural place, lots of farming children at school, he will unfortunately get some stick for it but he's researched it a lot and will eat a wide variety. Thanks so much for your reply xx

OP posts:
HerMammy · 11/06/2021 07:39

Girliefriendlikespuppies
This is a massive red flag for developing an Eating disorder, how tall is he? 7.5stone at age 14 seems very light

What an odd thought process,

aliensprig · 11/06/2021 07:40

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

This is a massive red flag for developing an Eating disorder, how tall is he? 7.5stone at age 14 seems very light.

Any weight loss can trigger anorexia especially in teens.

I personally would not allow it knowing now what I know about the links to Eating disorders. Teens need a huge amount of calories (at least 2600 but can be as much as 3600 or more if growing.) Their diet needs fats in it for brain development and the easiest fats IMO to get into them are butter and cream.

Well, that's a load of dangerous misinformation right there...

OP, please ignore this poster, they have no idea what they're saying. Thank you for supporting your teen with this!

Slipperrr · 11/06/2021 07:47

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

This is a massive red flag for developing an Eating disorder, how tall is he? 7.5stone at age 14 seems very light.

Any weight loss can trigger anorexia especially in teens.

I personally would not allow it knowing now what I know about the links to Eating disorders. Teens need a huge amount of calories (at least 2600 but can be as much as 3600 or more if growing.) Their diet needs fats in it for brain development and the easiest fats IMO to get into them are butter and cream.

No it's not ffs, so much ridiculous misinformation out there, this one might take the biscuit.

OP it seems like he has looked into it, and with your support as well he will be fine. Plenty of 14 year olds have a crap diet, but for some reason the majority have much more of an issue with a balanced vegan diet than an omni junk one. I would see how it goes, he might decide its not for him and that's fine, he might though find he gets on well with it.

MrsBongiovi · 11/06/2021 08:02

You may be surprised but you would be an outcast in many places where I live(rural westcountry) An example is if you get invited to a wedding around here there is no vegetarian option! We live rurally, lots of farming/hunting families. My ds has said himself he would get so much stick from the children in his year if they find out. I know you may find it hard to believe but it's true.

It sounds like you should be more concerned about him living in such an intolerant community than him wanting to be a vegan. It sounds like you’re living around and mixing with a bunch of cunts.

kikisparks · 11/06/2021 08:16

B12 is water soluble so it shouldn’t be possible to overdose, you just urinate out any extra (but it does make your pee a funny yellow colour!)

MothersPridePlain · 11/06/2021 08:19

I’m sure he’ll be fine. As for being an outcast socially as a vegan friend once said to me - most places sell chips.😊

Sparklingwine1 · 11/06/2021 08:26

Make sure he is getting lots of lentils, chickpeas and beans in his diet for the protein

I know you are worried but there are actually health benefits to vegan. His skin should improve and it's better for your heart. My husband went plant based specifically because of a heart condition.

I have done a 6 month stretch of being vegan. I had more energy than I've ever had and slept better.

However as I said before he needs the beans, chickpeas and lentils for protein, added B12 And there's also a vegan sub for omega although I can't remember what it is

4amWitchingHour · 11/06/2021 08:36

@Beardie03

Ps. Ds says a lot of the boys in his year say vegans should be shot!
This doesn't surprise me, my cousin also got a lot of stick for being vegan from a similar age - also West Country with lots of farmers around. She stuck it out and found local vegan groups that she joined - admittedly that all got a bit militant, but the most important thing was that her family supported her, and she didn't lose friends, just attracted abuse from knobheads
Merchymor · 11/06/2021 08:43

To the pp who said it can indicate an eating disorder, I think there's some truth in it but not the way pp thinks.

What can happen with someone with an eating disorder is they'll say they're vegan to mask or excuse how little they're eating.

So it can in some cases be a symptom of an eating disorder rather than a cause iyswim?

sashh · 11/06/2021 08:45

@MrsBongiovi

Not every part of the UK is a multicultural melting pot. Where I live is very mixed, my brother lives in Cornwall, school photos of my nieces and nephews are all white faces.

My brother is retired from the police but as a custody Sargent had to ask the owner of the Chinese restaurant to interpret.

Not for an interview, of course that needs a qualified interpreter but someone to tell the prisoner why he had been arrested and a qualified interpreter would have been at least 5 hours away.

You might think that veganism and vegetarianism has nothing to do with culture but it really does, Indian restaurants were one of the few places you could get vegetarian food in the 1970s.

If you watch the film 'Pride' you will see how a small mining community in Wales was worried about providing vegetarian food (and Siân James has said this was a genuine concern) in the 1980s.

When you live in an area where you are not exposed to veganism and your family's living relies on meat production you are going to think it odd.

There is nothing wrong with it. Things that I take for granted are not available everywhere.

Things that are taken for granted in other places are strange and sometimes shocking to others, eg I was discussing rabbit as a food in a staffroom and a couple of other members of staff were shocked at the idea of eating rabbit.

I worked with someone who is Indiana nd her husband is from NI, the first time she went to meet his family she was stared at in the street.

HopeValley · 11/06/2021 08:51

Studies show vegetarians and vegans actually have higher levels of iron in their diets than meat eaters and are less likely to be overweight. Their diets tend to be richer in minerals and nutrients, however vegans are often deficient in B12 and calcium. People are quick to criticise these diets but the majority of meat eaters have a far from perfect diet as well and as has been said obesity and heart disease are some of the biggest killers in the UK. I say all this as a meat eater.

I had a boyfriend who was vegan and we lived in a very rural, farming community. It was fine. You do know most people don't advertise the vegetarian option at a wedding? As a guest you let the host know your dietary requirements and the caterers sort it. My boyfriend never had any issues.

MrsBongiovi · 11/06/2021 09:08

sashh

Fucking hell. Did you actually write that post ‘explaining’ that to me? 🙄

Intolerance is an issue. Veganism really isn’t.

MissTrip82 · 11/06/2021 09:36

I went vegetarian as a teenager 25 years ago. It was very unusual and I knew no others. My parents had a meat-based diet and so my mum sent me to a dietician which was really useful.

I have never regretted it and appreciate that my parents supported me even though they really didn’t understand at all.

The only people who will froth and make a fuss are people who eat a very narrow diet themselves and can’t imagine how you can get protein without meat, despite many people around the world managing to do so for years. Those people also tend to assume that you’ll be eating meat-substitutes because they just can’t fathom what else you might eat. Their limited exposure to a wide range of food is not your son’s problem.