Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

Relax

21 replies

queenofcups · 20/11/2007 09:19

I have three kids 20,15,14 two boys and a girl. I feel ive been through most of the teenage dilemas but its all completely normal so try everyone to relax and not worry until there is REALLY something to worry about after all we all turned out ok.

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 20/11/2007 09:19

Oh thanks
That's put my mind at rest

Original poster

queenofcups · 20/11/2007 09:23

well thats good if yr ming is in a relaxed state u are better able to deal with problems by the way its just advise no one has to take any notice of it

OP posts:

RustyBear · 20/11/2007 09:28

I wouldn't relax quite yet - between 14 & 18 or so your youngest will probably be able to think of quite a few things to do to you that the others never managed... particularly if it's the girl!

dooley1 · 20/11/2007 09:31

pmsl
'if yr ming is in a relaxed state '

Original poster

queenofcups · 20/11/2007 09:44

no its the boy the girl is 15 and im sure shes got plenty more tricks up her sleve and she will have regardless of wether i worry or not but we can get through anything

OP posts:

2shoes · 20/11/2007 14:21

great thanks I will relax.....no point worrying about courswork and exams if he faile there is always jobseekers

Carmenere · 20/11/2007 14:26

Jeez queenofcups I wouldn't say you are finished quite yet. Dss is 18 and having loads of trouble trying to sort out being treated like shit at work and dsd is 20 and having a crap time at her exchange year in Madrid. They are great kids most of the time but shit happens and whilst your advice is sound it is a bit oddly placed.

Original poster

queenofcups · 20/11/2007 18:50

I dont think I am finished as far as Im concerned yr never finished being a parent I dont know what gave U the idea I thought I was, and yr right carmenere no point worrying about course work that energy can be better used im suprised you think if you fail exams your only option is jobseekers!

OP posts:

2shoes · 20/11/2007 22:13

i don't but you said to relax. make your mind up

Original poster

queenofcups · 21/11/2007 18:17

can u only relax with no kids then

OP posts:

2shoes · 21/11/2007 22:38

most likely
even when they are grown up and left home mums still worry

efacaulait · 19/04/2008 22:58

When my son was young I was horrified by stories of teenagers ending up on the street due to being kicked out of home. Now that he's a teenager(18)I understand it more. Last night he came home stupid drunk at 2am and woke me up with the most awful clattering around downstairs. There was more noise in his room because he slammed into the drum kit he's never used. When I got up and remonstrated he told me to fuck off and when I persisted he said "Fuck off you cunt" The belligerent anger was disturbing and sad.Then the puking started. I put a bowl by the bed but he didn't realise it was there and retched and vomited all over the bed. Fron the depths of my soul I couldn't help myself saying " I wish I'd never had you" He heard me but he didn't remember this morning . I didn't mean it anyway. It was just the hideousness of the circumstances. My beautiful baby turned into this awful mess. Today he was sheepish and apologetic, Making light of last night . We're alone in the world. I'm a single parent and have no family and no close friends , so no one to lean on. Really need support. He will grow out of it won't he?

Remotew · 19/04/2008 23:06

efaulcualit, This post is a few months old. I dont think you should worry after all some children at your Ds's age have left home. Must admit I would like to post about my worries with my DD but cannot bring myself to.

fifitinkerbell · 21/04/2008 12:14

abouteve you should post your worries as we are all here to support each other. And it is a worry about teenagers no matter anyone says.

2shoes · 21/04/2008 13:06

can I second that. I can't help much with teen girls(dd is sn) but would offer an ear.

Pimmpom · 21/04/2008 17:01

efaulcualit - sorry that you had such an awful weekend. Hope your ds is trying to make it up to you.

abouteve - everyone on here is very supportive x

mum2herberts · 23/04/2008 21:41

Efaul: "Now that he's a teenager(18)I understand it more". I know how you feel! It seems that you found your son's behaviour shocking and frightening but he got home safely and he was sheepish and apologetic afterwards, so I think he may well have learned a lesson.

I don't like giving advice, because everybody's circumstances are different and I know that my family isn't out of the woods yet, but I have found with my sons that it helps if you give them a bit of space to absorb the lesson and acknowledge them when they apologise or admit that they were in the wrong, so that you can both move on a bit. It helps to have a sense of humour about what happens (once you know that they are safe, of course). We had a similar weekend here. Won't go into everything (it was an eventful, stressful and trying couple of days, esp with ds1), but ds2 threw up all over his shoes once he got home after his Friday night escapades. He doesn't want to do it again. Is your son an awful mess or is he, like mine, being awfully messy? He is having to be a teenager. How awful is that? I know that there is more to come (no chance of relaxing yet, I think), but I am also sure that underneath it all my sons are the lovely boys they always have been and I suspect that yours is the same. I bet you are doing a lot better than you think you are.

efacaulait · 25/04/2008 15:05

Yes everyone, my ds and I have moved on.Thank you for your support.Especially mum2herberts. It's just that I'm not used to the absolutely paralytic homecoming.I've toldhim countless times not to drink on an empty stomach and now he knows why.He had to do all the cleaning up himself so I'm sure there won't be a repeat for a long time.What shook me most of all was what I said to him. But it's like they say :if you push someone too far they say things they don't mean.Anyway thanks again.

ps I want to change my nickname EFACAULAIT.It's such a mouthful.Could someone let me know how to do that?

Remotew · 26/04/2008 22:29

Go to your mumsnet and nicknames and change it.

I know that you have moved on but your DS didnt mean what he said to you and you didnt mean what you muttered either. I bet he couldnt even remember any of it and was so worried about the consequences of his binge. I've been there myself, as the drunk that is, once or twice and beleive me its worse giving than receiving.

higgimammy · 28/04/2008 15:52

Thanks Abouteve_just done that. No longer efacaulait now higgimammy. Thanks also for your support

I sympathize.When the words are out of your mouth you can't take them back. But wqe're only human. Time haela . Words are like stones throw into the water. At first they make a splash and then as time goes on sink without trace. I firmly believ that love is in the doing not in the saying.

I had a repeat performance with dsa this weekend . No abuse this time but lots of crashing and banging and vomiting and trying to pee in the wardrobe. More cleaning and laundry for him .

Mum2herberts _ thank you. Thinking of him as being awfully messy at the moment is helpful and comforting

higgimammy · 28/04/2008 16:09

To abouteve
I've just noticed some awful typos in my message to you.It should read :But we're only human. Time heals.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread