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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

16 year olds meeting in parks and drinking

75 replies

lu9months · 04/06/2021 17:40

groups of friends of my 16 year old are meeting regularly in the park of an evening and drinking. my ds wants to join them. says theres 20 or so of them, they cant meet in peoples homes, they are safe and keeping an eye on each other. hes determined to join them and not miss out. ive told him its not legal. ive offered to have friends at ours. hes really desperate to go along. they dont stay out crazy late- home by 11. do your teens do this? im not happy about it but theyve had a really crap year with covid and i do want him to have some fun. what are your thoughts?

OP posts:

IEat · 05/06/2021 13:21

Oh the days .. miss those teenage days

MoiraNotRuby · 05/06/2021 13:21

My Y11 has just started doing this, we have some ground rules, he has a lovely friendship group, and I know a few of the other parents. I still worry but it could be worse. I expect the novelty will wear off at some point but for now it's just brilliant he has a social life. I know a lot of teenagers have really suffered. Heaven knows what GCSE grades DS will end up with so I'd rather he enjoyed himself for a while before whatever the world universe chucks at him next....

bellsbuss · 05/06/2021 13:25

I remember drinking a big bottle of quite frightening (white lightning ) age 15 in the park and puking my guts up. My mum thought I was at youth club or the roller disco

ShadierThanaPalmTree · 05/06/2021 13:28

I used to do this, you could get a bottle of cherry lambrini for a fiver (obviously, was a classy kind of girl). Yeah it's not ideal, I'm surprised that he's told you. On the positive side, you know where he is and can talk to him openly about keeping himself safe.

Forstarters · 05/06/2021 13:30

I’d be more worried if my teen didn’t do this. As for me my mum used to drop me off and sometimes pick me up. Plus I was out a lot later than 11 at 16…..sometimes all night. Also it’s not illegal.

Crockof · 05/06/2021 13:36

Fuck me, have I stepped into a MN alternative universe? No frothing, no lectures on how this makes your dc into alcoholics??

I think it's good he told you, I agree with ground rules. Mine has always been to let me know where you are going even if you think I won't like it.

blahblahblah321 · 05/06/2021 13:45

@Crockof

Fuck me, have I stepped into a MN alternative universe? No frothing, no lectures on how this makes your dc into alcoholics??

I think it's good he told you, I agree with ground rules. Mine has always been to let me know where you are going even if you think I won't like it.

I think the frothers must be away for the weekend

UserAtRandom · 05/06/2021 14:07

@Crockof

Fuck me, have I stepped into a MN alternative universe? No frothing, no lectures on how this makes your dc into alcoholics??

I think it's good he told you, I agree with ground rules. Mine has always been to let me know where you are going even if you think I won't like it.

It's because it's in "Teenagers". It's like a secret, hidden club of sanity.

If OP had posted on AIBU she'd have had responses from parents of toddlers telling her this was totally irresponsible and there was no way their little darlings would ever do anything like this or even be allowed out the house without an adult until they were 30

Littlepaws18 · 05/06/2021 14:14

As someone who lives near a park, please don't! Every evening we have suffered screaming, shouting, snapping the trees covering the park and field in litter, dog faeces smeared all over the park, unruly kids. Yesterday there was a 14 year old lads throwing half full cider cans off the climbing frame and watching them smash. I told them to put them in the bin, granted they did this but one of them muttered what is she going to do?! I replied, "I am going to treat you like a decent human being in the hope that you will act like one!" Took my child on the field to learn how to ride her bike and it's full of broken glass, went to the park and there's more rubbish than grass. Luckily we are moving in a few weeks and will never come back.

You may have perfectly behaved kids in your presence, but alone they turn into monsters!

Lanique · 05/06/2021 14:32

Completely normal.

PerditaCambellBlack · 05/06/2021 14:57

Lol at “It's because it's in "Teenagers". It's like a secret, hidden club of sanity.”

Just one note of caution- one of my sons did this at 17 and an ambulance had to be called resulting in his being admitted to A&E all night, the mental health team being involved as he was ranting, pissed, and our receiving a social worker visit. He’s fine and it was ok but he was so pissed they wouldn’t release him to us and admitted him for a head scan as he’d fallen off a bench. 🙄

PerditaCambellBlack · 05/06/2021 14:58

I still agree that it’s normal though and it’s good that he told you.

Original poster

lu9months · 05/06/2021 19:09

phew picked the right group of parents to ask!!

OP posts:

Gingerkittykat · 05/06/2021 19:22

Surely part of the appeal of drinking in the park is rebelling against your parents?

I would be saying no to DD if she asked the same. The big groups of kids tend to cause loads of trouble, even when it is the nice kids from good areas. There has been loads of vandalism, bin fires and people find it intimidating being out when there are huge crowds of teenagers hanging about.

I'm sure your DS is sensible, but I'm sure every one of the kids in those groups have no idea their kids are the ones causing trouble.

Christmasfairy2020 · 05/06/2021 21:10

Hmmm a gang of youths drinking in a park scaring others. I'd put it to him like that

Crockof · 05/06/2021 22:11

Phew , normality has returned.

Golden2021 · 05/06/2021 22:23

I was going to say diamond white and fingering, but my crew has moved on. Alas I am a night too late. Thanks for the reminiscing.

Crockof · 05/06/2021 22:40

@Golden2021

I was going to say diamond white and fingering, but my crew has moved on. Alas I am a night too late. Thanks for the reminiscing.

You have no idea how much this has made me smile, I knew it couldn't last, maybe Friday nights are when the hidden club members come out

IHaveBrilloHair · 06/06/2021 00:33

I'm proper laughing at Diamond White and fingering.
I never did that behind a church, oh no

UserAtRandom · 06/06/2021 12:49

@Christmasfairy2020

Hmmm a gang of youths drinking in a park scaring others. I'd put it to him like that

Why use the polarised language? If they are being violent or damaging property that's a different situation to what OP describes.

A group of older children hanging out in a park (if it's like my DS, after the time when small children are in bed) should not in themselves scare others.

TheWeeDonkey · 06/06/2021 13:01

@Golden2021

I was going to say diamond white and fingering, but my crew has moved on. Alas I am a night too late. Thanks for the reminiscing.

On wow. Those were the days 😂 I remember sharing a bottle of Thunderbird with my mates under the canal bridge before going to the youth club disco and one time throwing up cider and black and thinking it was my insides coming out

AgathaAllAlong · 06/06/2021 13:08

Ah those were the days....I used to do this and turned out ok! Be grateful your boy respects you enough to seek permission, most teenagers I knew (including myself) just lied to parents about where we were. Home by 11, all fine!

AgathaAllAlong · 06/06/2021 13:12

Oh yes I agree about keeping the park nice though! Teach your DS to pick up litter, it's awful for the little toddlers not to be able to play in their own park because of all the glass. Good kids don't litter.

Londonmummy66 · 06/06/2021 14:00

This thread has made me laugh thinking back to my misspent teens. I think the most spectacular fail was when one of my friends had to leave the midnight service on Christmas Eve to vomit in the plant pot outside the Church door after we'd spent the evening underage drinking in the pub.

It probably didn't help that it was a Methodist Church so the congregation were largely teetotal and alcohol was banned on the premises.

malificent7 · 07/06/2021 22:49

I used to do this...normal teen behaviour unfortunately.

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