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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DS 14 train trip with friends to seaside?

32 replies

Nixand2 · 01/06/2021 22:01

My DS - 14 - wants to go with his friends to Weymouth for the day and I am really stuck on what to do.

It’s an approx 1hr 25 min journey, 6 of them going on Saturday. DS is 15 in October and sensible but hasn’t been this far from him alone before.

Any advice on navigating the boundaries of teenagers welcome

OP posts:

LemonRoses · 01/06/2021 22:04

I wouldn’t because groups of teenagers can get silly. Silly and the sea don’t always mix well. It’s often that a child is sensible on their own, but if a friend was in trouble in the sea?
Assumedly that far from the coast, he doesn’t know the seas there?

cheninblanc · 01/06/2021 22:05

I'd say it's a year too early. Sorry. I let my teens do loads but 14 that far away is too much too soon for me

MadMadMadamMim · 01/06/2021 22:05

I had this last week with a (just)16 year old DS - going 80 miles to a city centre shopping trip with friends.

I agonised, but let them go and it was fine. My main issue was it's a 2 hour drive and they are a long way from adults if there's a problem and we have to come collect him. I did make him text that they'd got there, text at lunchtime (ish) and text when they were catching the train home.

It's hideous being a parent!

jannyapple · 01/06/2021 22:17

I think if a mature trustworthy 14 year old with a decent group of friends then yes it be a lovely day out for them
However .. if reckless , easily talked into stupidness with friends who are all idiots it would be a no from me

LizzieMacQueen · 01/06/2021 22:26

Will they be drinking alcohol? That, with the sun and the sea would make me nervous too.

Divineswirls · 01/06/2021 22:26

If it's a direct train line there and back I don't see how it's different to getting on a bus.

The sea is currently freezing so if they plan on swimming no chance.

wickedwitchofthedance · 01/06/2021 22:29

No chance. A 13 year old boy died near me today swimming in the river. Can't imagine my child going somewhere to the sea over an hour away.

Scarby9 · 01/06/2021 22:32

My godson went to Liverpool from Northampton for the day when they were 14. They researched the journey (not direct), saved up and persuaded their parents.
What did they do there? Went to the Art Gallery, of all places. It had apparently been mentioned by a teacher and came back into their heads when they arrived!
After that taste of train freedom he than travelled the country awith friends or alone, following his football team. Apparently football grounds are a long way from stations but he used to walk.
If they are nice kids, let them go on the promise of further trips if they are sensible - no ooutings until they are 16, if they are not sensible...

Original poster

Nixand2 · 01/06/2021 22:42

Thanks all.

I definitely don’t think alcohol would be involved.

However I hadn’t really considered the thought of the sea, I definitely wouldn’t want them in the sea.

The same group have been on a 1 hour bus ride to Bath and they went on a river cruise of all things so I think they are just getting a taste for independence.

Parenting is definitely hard!

OP posts:

hiimjackie · 02/06/2021 11:05

I've let mine go to Scarborough from hull, had no problems, think the only bit of silliness was one of those 'measure your punch' machines getting to competitive in the amusements

TokyoSushi · 02/06/2021 11:08

Yes I'd agree that the seaside is a no, even the most sensible of people can be cajoled into doing something silly, my main concern would also be the sea.

traumatisednoodle · 02/06/2021 11:14

I would try to be in the same town. An hour and a half is a long way away in an emergency.

eepeep · 02/06/2021 12:10

Can you go along or take a later train in, but then do your own thing once there? Just so there's an adult nearby in case things go pear shaped. If not, on balance, I probably would still let him go and make sure I had swapped phone numbers with one of his friends so they can contact you.

I have noticed a big jump in what I'm happy to let DS do from 14 to now at nearly 16. It's still on the younger side.

FedNlanders · 02/06/2021 12:12

No. I used to go to Bournemouth from Southampton gro. Year 11 onwards. Not Weymouth.

Seeline · 02/06/2021 12:18

Is it the journey you are concerned about, or what they will do when they get there?

I don't think the journey is an issue. My DD and her friend did London to Gloucester on their own to go and stay with friend's DF at that age.

EverythingRuined · 02/06/2021 12:22

If they are a sensible lot then I'd let them go. It's be really good fun and after the last year a proper sense of freedom would be good for them. It would depend on the group I suppose.

I'd be ok with them swimming if they are all good swimmers. Weymouth beach is a very safe beach.

It would depend very much on the kids though.

Seeline · 02/06/2021 12:25

Actually thinking back, DD did a train trip to Brighton with a group of friends at the same age. I think they were more interest in shops and food than the beach though.

Bobbybobbins · 02/06/2021 14:11

I would if they were sensible.

backaftera2yearbreak · 02/06/2021 14:15

I travelled from the north of Scotland to London on my own at that age

MMMarmite · 02/06/2021 14:19

If they are sensible and know how to behave safely around water then yes. It sounds a lovely little adventure as long as they are mature enough. It really depends on your DC and their friends.

UpTheJunktion · 02/06/2021 14:19

I would be fine with this if they are sensible.

Ask if they intend to swim and emphasise the lifeguard zone.

And not leaving their belongings unattended even for 5 mins.

Set a return train time that gives time to get home at a sensible time (before dusk) even if they miss the first one.

My 14 year olds were travelling independently all over London by this age. 14 year olds are really v capable.

MMMarmite · 02/06/2021 14:20

If they're wanting to swim, and are strong swimmers, you could help them research which areas are lifeguarded.

underneaththeash · 02/06/2021 14:28

I wouldn’t think twice about saying yes to that - DS is just 15. He is very sensible (and big) though.

FedNlanders · 02/06/2021 14:32

I've been stuck at Weymouth Station twice in a year lol so that would put me off closer is easier for a pick up

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 02/06/2021 14:40

We’ve had similar this week. We live in a suburb in Berkshire and dd (just 15) and her friends (some still 14) wanted to go to Oxford.
One wasn’t allowed unless a parent was going and I said I would drive and then leave them to it while I shopped alone and spent the day sightseeing but it was decided they would rather not go than be given a lift!

Sensible girls but unrealistic ideas about where is a realistic place to go. Eg before Oxford we had brighton, Portsmouth, Westfield and a couple of other suggestions all of which involved at least one change of train.
They are not street savvy at all and quite young for their age which is often a good thing but not when it comes to going to towns a couple of hours away without a parent being in the same town, it’s not a good idea.

Funnily enough if they had asked to go to
London say Covent Garden or Camden I would have been ok with dd doing that as we have been lots of times and I’m confident she’s know which trains and which tubes to get.

I think if you have doubts that’s your answer and if you were confident that it would be ok you wouldn’t be asking opinions on Mumsnet.

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