Curfews

[Looneytune253]

Please tell me honestly what time your curfews are for a 16 year old. I get it in the neck off mine as I'm 'too strict'. I know she's most likely just saying that to get what she wants but I genuinely think all of her friends are out much later than she is. For context she spends town in the nearest city and travels home on a local train for 20 mins. We like to go to bed around 10 especially when we have an early shift in the morning (getting up at 4am or 6am). She's finished school now so she's pushing for later during the week.

What is she doing in town? I was happy for mine to be out later than that at 16 if they were at friends houses, but not wandering about.

Tricky as you have to get up so early.

I'm in Nottinghamshire, semi rural, for context. I have 16yo (Y11) DD and 15yo (Y10DS).

If in the city or using public transport to get home (regardless of how far) then 9.30pm curfew. If local, 10pm curfew. Later than that would be exceptional situations and with negotiation only.

Safely in a house midnight as Dh will collect but has to be up for work at 6am. Out and about roaming around a town? Probably a lot earlier and the fact that it fits around your shifts means definitely earlier. I would probably say 10pm for in town at 16.

You are not too strict, the later it is the more alcohol other people have consumed the more risk there is to her safety. I always tell mine I care too much and am willing to piss you off so that I can keep you safe. But then my best friend was raped on a night out when we were 16 so maybe that clouds my judgement. Not by a stranger, by someone we knew who was older. Big group so I didn't realise at first she was missing from the group. It completely changed her as a person as you can imagine.

I didn't have one. I wasn't out until stupid o'clock anyway but I was in college and my mum or dad didn't set a curfew and at 16 I doubt I would've stuck to it anyway .

@PixieDust28 this is the problem we have. She does generally stick to 10pm and we sometimes let her stay later on a weekend which is why I think she's pushing now but tbh I don't know how much longer she'll 'conform' as she's almost 17 and she's very headstrong. She defo describes us as 'too strict' tho but we allow her to have a small amount of alcohol and let her stay up as late as she wants. They are all in a large group of friends in a grassy area of the city (think Emo/goth group)

[quote Looneytune253]@PixieDust28 this is the problem we have. She does generally stick to 10pm and we sometimes let her stay later on a weekend which is why I think she's pushing now but tbh I don't know how much longer she'll 'conform' as she's almost 17 and she's very headstrong. She defo describes us as 'too strict' tho but we allow her to have a small amount of alcohol and let her stay up as late as she wants. They are all in a large group of friends in a grassy area of the city (think Emo/goth group) [/quote]
Sorry didn't see you replied.

I was in the 'emo' group too but we didn't really hang out in parks or anything like that. It was always either at a gig, someone's house/garden or in the summer down the beach. Probably why my mum and dad were okay with it. I always let them know where I was and how I was getting home etc. I was quite sensible. Does your DD let you know where she is?

Rural Derbyshire here, 9pm strict for Y11 DD, whether she's in the locality or elsewhere, unless she's staying at a friend's house, it's 9pm latest.

Once my daughter had finished school and was 16, curfews were gone.

As long as she let me know where she was going and generally who she was with, any time was fine. She's been in after midnight a few times but is generally home well before that.