Mixed sex sleepover for 14 year olds

[StuntNun]

My DS has been invited to a birthday party at the weekend where six 14 year olds: three boys and three girls are going to share a tent overnight. Is this a normal thing now?

Yes and it was 20 years ago when I was that age.
What's the problem?

Hahahaha … nope. I have 13.5 & 14.5 yrs olds, a boy and a girl, and it would be a "fuck that" for both of them.

My dd has been to 1 but she is best mates with a girl tein who gas a boy twin. Oarents were oresent. I can understand the discomfort though. I won't host one.

That would be a hard no from me, but I only have a four year old and a two year old, so I have a lot to learn!

I wouldn’t.

Not a chance. Children those ages are vulnerable to peer pressure. It seems like an opportunity for disaster

Nope. I remember being very uncomfortable at a girl and boy at a 15 year olds party getting down and dirty next to my sleeping bag on the floor. I think I put my fingers in my ears and hummed!!

Mind you one of the boys went upstairs and 'got off' with the girls mum 😬 so not sure they had great role models!!

Depends on the children, I think. Personally I wouldn't host, but I'd let my daughter go to one as the one boy in her social circle is gay, so it really would be nothing more than friends.

But if there was a chance it could be more than than, I'd be cautious. Year 8 is when the youngest start having sex (ime as a secondary teacher), but lots are still quite innocent at that age. So it depends on the child.

I don't think there's any chance of any of them having sex. None of the teens are dating each other, my DS has a boyfriend who isn't going to the party, and DS says the three girls are all lesbians. They're all year 9 but my DS is being educated out of year so he's 15 in five weeks rather than just turning 14 like the others. But I don't think it's about whether anything's likely to happen or whether I trust my DS. It's more that there's a reason we separate teenagers and maybe they should have a girls' tent and a boys' tent instead of all sharing one tent. I have a three-man tent he could take with him to the party.

They're all gay? 🙄. You might have mentioned this 😂

Hahaha sure they are. I remember being 14 even if you don't. 😂
Sure, make sure he has some condoms and they'll be fine.

Nope

Nope.

Hell no

You say you don't think that they're having sex … I had my first sexual experience at 14. Not full sex, but it was horrible and awkward and extremely regrettable.

Nope and I am usually very relaxed about things like this.

Well I don't think they're having sex and DS seems committed to his boyfriend. But then parents never really know what's going on, do they?

It is so hard to deal with these things.....I had 3 teenage girls and know how difficult it is to tread the right line.

On the one hand you want to trust their judgement, but they are very young and it is easy for them to get inveigled into something that they might regret.

I doubt these 3 girls are all lesbians!!!

Good grief - no! I know what I was doing at 14 and I don’t want to give my DC the opportunity to be following suit.

It a chance from me but I am judging purely on what I was like at 14!

It's interesting that's the only issue people have with a mixed sex group is actual sex. The peer pressure is huge at that age a sleepover provides a higher level as these kids can't just walk away.

I lost my Virginity pre 14 but let my son have mixed sex sleepovers in his early teens with no issue. I had a very honest and open relationship with my children, even in their teens. If they’re going to have sex they will do it anyway- let them have a fun party with their friends.

My ds1 is in a mixed group of friends and has been since year 7 (he's just about to finish year 11 now). There are 4 boys and 4 girls, they are all incredibly sensible, and yes, they have had mixed sleepovers (both here and at other houses, always with parents around). I honestly trust my ds when he says they are all just friends - and yes, I would let them share a tent.
However, ds2 is 14 and a very different kettle of fish - I don't think I would let him have a mixed sleepover at the moment, he just isn't mature or sensible enough. It might seem like double standards - but OP you know your ds and should make a decision based on that.

Both my sons are part of mixed friendship groups and both have sleepovers - usually in the living room ie more overlooked than in bedrooms. We make a separate bedroom available for the girls to get changed in and to sleep in if they want to but they never have.

My dd had a mixed group of friends to stay - they were in the sitting room - at around the same age. There were definitely shenanigans! I had to keep going in (all night!). It was so stressful. I would not allow it again.

She has stayed friends with the same group - they are now 16. It's a safe way to explore relationships in my opinion, but they aren't to be trusted at all!