12 year old hates secondary

[Remmy123]

My son is not adjusting well to secondary school life and the expectations / discipline.

Primary school he was always a bit chatty but since starting year 7 he gets detentions and then got put on a report. He is now on his third week of report. None of this has helped in fact it's making him hate school.

He is a popular boy there are no bullying issues going on he just says he isn't enjoying it.

The behaviour is - few mins late for class / chatting / silly behaviour

We have added consequences for him at home .

Does it get better? Is this an adjustment phase?

It is a very strict but v good school

Thanks

Late for lessons and disruptive (albeit low level) behaviour isn't good in year 7.
The school needs to stamp down on these pupils to maintain its high reputation and quality of teaching. Hope you get some good advice.

I would offer rewards at home for a good report, rather than consequence.

Thanks - he is unfortunately pretty unorganised and that isn't helping with timekeeping either

... we have banned him from his PC but weekend offer a reward on Friday if he gets a good report this week

It is a big step into secondary but he is old enough to understand the rules and take the consequences. I agree with pp I would reward for good weeks as he is already getting consequences at school.

Continue to explain to him how disruptive good behaviour is, the impact on his teacher and class and what is expected of him now. The time for chatting to friends is during breaks or after school. It's also a good time to start conversations about how important secondary is for future choices, they are being assessed and tracked regularly and it is very easy to fall behind then struggle to catch back up and lose choices to do the subjects he wants etc.

Some children not good with big changes. Give it time things will improve. Reward good behaviour.

Always a bit chatty?
That disrupts lessons. Don’t downplay it.
Being late disrupts lessons.
None of this had helped? If he changes his behaviour then problem solved. You can help him with organisation. And by supporting the school.
It’ll only get better when he changes his behaviour.

Thanks all

He was only late for lesson once as he was at the tennis courts other side of school

Generally he is chatty / not focused

He is bright and does well in tests

It's like he just really struggles to behave like he forgets himself

Really is depressing as I thought he would thrive at secondary but feels like a battle

Have you considered ADHD?

Often becomes glaringly obvious at secondary and the chatting/forgetfulness are two very key symptoms.

Also seen you've mentioned lack of focus!

Any of these look familiar?

@mynewnameisntavailable yes I have considered ADHD - not that many are true from your picture but some are

Where do I go from here as I believe waiting lists are very long for diagnoses?

I also think that being in lockdown and us
Allowing him have hours of gaming has ruined him

He said nothing is exciting as gaming

Even football he doesn't seem to want to do Abd he was v passionate about that

You’ve identified a possible issue. Is he still gaming a lot? I would stop the gaming for a couple of weeks (I have done this as we had issues too) and see how it goes.
Make sure your ds understands that it’s not a punishment but just to help him get his focus back.