So this is about my 13 yr old sister.
I’m 11 years older than her, so pretty much remember her growing up from the moment she was brought home. She was always a very normal child, nothing unusual. She always was very open and had positive attitude, but this had changed dramatically over the last 2 years.
So it started off as she came out to us as a lesbian (at the age of 11) we were all very accepting of this and never questioned anything. Then after a few months she claimed to be a bi, again all family just accepted it, then she decided she was heterosexual and then back again to being a lesbian. No one ever was judging or commenting on her sexuality, simply just accepting it. Then slowly she started to ignore most of the family, lost pretty much all of her friends, changed her hairstyle dramatically (she had long blonde hair now it is a boy type haircut and black hair) again, no one was judging her on that, everyone supportive of her finding her style etc. She started to show aggression recently and anti-social behaviour like joking about how she wished her nephew dead (he’s only 4 m and she barely sees him, so not like the baby would have annoyed her in any way) she was self harming for the past year, very blunt and rude towards mum, her classmates report her to teachers for saying some dark stuff (like mentioning she want him to be dead etc), she shows aggression in front of everyone now, she refuses to talk even though all family begs for it, her school called multiple times to say she had unusual behaviour and they suggest therapy. The whole family tried so hard to do something for her (last summer she said she is unhappy and wants some happy moments) so mum splurged on a London trip and shopping that my sister really wanted only for my sister to say it wasn’t good enough and did not change anything for her. She constantly talks to herself about the anime she watching (or to the characters while watching it), she doesn’t want to communicate with anyone and prefers to lock up in her room, even when everyone begs for her to come out to take her shopping or a day out of her choice. She refuses. Recently she claimed she is non-binary and wants to try to live and look like a boy so everyone would be confused when looking at her (literary what she said) so seems like attention seeking to me tbh, but never said that to get.
Then she claims she is neglected and a disappointment to the family. NO ONE ever said anything like that to her, everyone tried to support her. We figured she is in need for some professional help that had been suggested by the school. But the problem is - we have been in contact with many well-being establishment and she refuses to get help so they say they can’t do anything if she doesn’t want to get help.
Now we are so confused on what to do :/ we know she needs help and we just can’t seem to get it and we are so worried she would do something to hurt herself or anyone else :/ someone suggested she’s just a teenager, but this just does not come across as a normal teenager act out to me, it is a bit too far now,
Sorry for the essay here, but I’m just so lost and worried, any advise would be greatly appreciated