Spending - again!

[Rosebud2005]

Why do teenagers just want to spend everything they’ve got? Would you allow your teenager to just spend their savings? All I get is it’s my money I’ll do what I want with it. He gets an allowance at the weekend and a monthly clothes allowance. Still wants me to put money into his card from his own savings. He hasn’t much left hut this doesn’t seem to go in when I’m trying to advise him. I said when it’s gone it’s gone. He doesn’t care apparently! Yeah until next couple of weeks when it’s well and truly gone. He will not do any jobs he is asked to do. Knows fine well he can get himself money but nope doesn’t want to. Oh well, no jobs no money.
I’m right aren’t i?

Same here, money goes like water and not even on anything. I've given up on putting money into savings he can access, he just wants it out. Zero balance all the time! I'm not giving mine a clothes allowance til he can use his pocket money sensibly. I wouldn't be giving pocket money if he didn't do basic help round the house though when asked.

Aw it’s driving me insane. His attitude right now is no can’t be bothered. So he knows he has his own savings account and thinks it doesn’t matter if we don’t give him money as he’s got his own right there and it’s his right to use it.

How much do people give their teens (mine is 15) per job around the home? I set up his gohenry card years ago with jobs to be ticked off and it automatically payed at the weekend. Usually about £2 each like talking rubbish out (never did it) , emptying/filling machines (never did it).. tidying his room we gave a bit more £5 as it was a bigger job and it’s the only one he would ever do besides putting his clothes away. Do these sound reasonable or would you give more/less? Like I say he’s not very motivated either way

You’d pay him to tidy his own room?

Try switching it round x amount on his card every Saturday less y if room not done less z if has not done one small chore from the list every day.

Leaves about a third if nothing done.

Washing not in the basket/lunch box not in the dishwasher well it doesn’t get washed does it.

Alongside support him by pointing out the five minutes he has to do the sandwich box. The five mins he has to put clothes away etc only one small reminder each day. All jobs need to be tiny and one at a time / day but if he does them as suggested he can be sure to not be docked pocket money.

Mine's not too bad with spending. We live in a tourist area and he works during the season. The rule has always been that 50% goes into his savings (Child ISA that he can't touch til he's 18).

He can do what he likes with the rest, he's earned it. During the off season I give no money at all. I pay his phone contract and that's it. He was offered £10 a week pocket money in return for normal chores round the house and he refuses to lift a finger. (Just turned 16).

The offer's always there. I'm not giving an allowance to someone who doesn't unload the dishwasher when asked, for example.

Mine are not like that at all, but then they have jobs so have learnt the value of money. I pay their phones and give them lumps of money now and again if I'm feeling generous to buy some clothes or pay for the odd social thing. Otherwise, they cover it themselves.

@ShowMeHow

You’d pay him to tidy his own room?

Try switching it round x amount on his card every Saturday less y if room not done less z if has not done one small chore from the list every day.

Leaves about a third if nothing done.

Washing not in the basket/lunch box not in the dishwasher well it doesn’t get washed does it.

Alongside support him by pointing out the five minutes he has to do the sandwich box. The five mins he has to put clothes away etc only one small reminder each day. All jobs need to be tiny and one at a time / day but if he does them as suggested he can be sure to not be docked pocket money.

Hi that’s what I mean really. I’m not sure if the room should be one of them but he refuses to do anything else. He’ll Blatantly say no. So I suppose I could go with your suggestion of telling him the weekly money will be payed as long as jobs are done and if not it will he deducted. I only ever really tried to get him to do one a day. When he was wee he would do anything you asked him to. Or say I’ll give him a tenner extra if he does what’s been asked. Why is it so hard to teach teens about money habits? He said his friend spent over £100 last week when they were out to which I said yes because she probably saved it up. Also another one is allowed their mums card?? I said well that’s never gonna happen! He gets £20 from us at the weekend. He goes to McDonald’s, subway, train tickets, Apple, games etc.

Depends on the kid... i have 3 careful savers & 1 spendthrift. I raised them the same, honest!!

Do you give him £20 spending money every weekend?
fwiw, I never paid them for tidying own room & taking bin out would be paid 10p max. I try to pay them something similar to their own age minimum wage.

13yo cooks tea for whole family (3-6 of us, he does a great roast) for £2.

It does sound like you've made getting money rather easy for him, OP. Even my spendthrift DC has slowly improved (over years), especially when she has had to earn to spend. She definitely thinks hard about getting value for money, at least.

I have a total spendthrift and a miser

They both drive me to distraction with their financial habits.

I let them spend their savings (I.e what they’ve personally saved and birthday/Christmas money) as they wish. They will both get a reasonable sum of money when they’re 18 and it irritates me intensely that they may just burn through it but I am approaching it as an opportunity to learn...

Why do teenagers just want to spend everything they’ve got?

They don't, all.
Some do some don't. I've had 3 teens. One earned his money and liked to spend it. One earned and saved almost everything. One is somewhere between the two.

So he knows he has his own savings account and thinks it doesn’t matter if we don’t give him money as he’s got his own right there and it’s his right to use it.
I'm a bit confused - how has he got money if you aren't giving it him ? Do you mean something say that Grandparents gave him when he was little ?
Before they were 18, mine couldn't access money they'd been given for saving. It was in Premium bonds of Building Society account in my name as a trustee for them.

Do these sound reasonable or would you give more/less?

I never 'paid' mine for contributing around the house. They are expected to contribute because they live here. Don't get me wrong, they all went through stages when their rooms were total pits, but that was a separate battle from teaching them about budgeting and saving.
However, if you have set up his money as pay for jobs, and he isn't doing the jobs, then why are you giving him the money ?

Why is it so hard to teach teens about money habits?
I don't think it is.
It starts from when they first have pocket money, (We started ours when they were 7), the idea that 'you have £1. When it is gone it is gone. You can spend it each week, or you can save it to buy {insert whatever they like / want at the time}, or a combination of the two.
Over the years, you have conversations about things like how much less you pay if you save for something, rather than take out credit. General conversations about money management.

If you are giving him £20 every weekend, he has no need to learn to budget, or to value money.

@BackforGood

Why do teenagers just want to spend everything they’ve got?

They don't, all.
Some do some don't. I've had 3 teens. One earned his money and liked to spend it. One earned and saved almost everything. One is somewhere between the two.

So he knows he has his own savings account and thinks it doesn’t matter if we don’t give him money as he’s got his own right there and it’s his right to use it.
I'm a bit confused - how has he got money if you aren't giving it him ? Do you mean something say that Grandparents gave him when he was little ?
Before they were 18, mine couldn't access money they'd been given for saving. It was in Premium bonds of Building Society account in my name as a trustee for them.

Do these sound reasonable or would you give more/less?

I never 'paid' mine for contributing around the house. They are expected to contribute because they live here. Don't get me wrong, they all went through stages when their rooms were total pits, but that was a separate battle from teaching them about budgeting and saving.
However, if you have set up his money as pay for jobs, and he isn't doing the jobs, then why are you giving him the money ?

Why is it so hard to teach teens about money habits?
I don't think it is.
It starts from when they first have pocket money, (We started ours when they were 7), the idea that 'you have £1. When it is gone it is gone. You can spend it each week, or you can save it to buy {insert whatever they like / want at the time}, or a combination of the two.
Over the years, you have conversations about things like how much less you pay if you save for something, rather than take out credit. General conversations about money management.

If you are giving him £20 every weekend, he has no need to learn to budget, or to value money.

I’m not suggesting that they all do, I know many have a good grasp on their money. It was a general question around spending itself being difficult for some teenagers. The reasoner started with the money around the home was to give our son an incentive to earn money for nice things he likes but. He was never interested in money when he was younger so it never really worked anyway. We just thought it was worth a try and the savings he has always had was gifts from family growing up but again it’s only more recently he’s become interested in spending it. Not that we want to stop him spending what is his own but we’re just trying to get him to think about how he spends it. He never really has been in the position of looking after his own money until now. Maybe that’s part of our problem. Us not doing it right from the start.

What. A horrible situation you have found yourself in

But I’m afraid it’s largely your own doing

Main question - this savings account. Who has been putting money in to it?

My are at uni now so a slightly different arrangement, but in their teens they had an amount given to them each month. When it's was gone then it was gone... if they wanted to dip into their savings it's up to them. Their money, their choice. They also had child ISAs which they coudn't access.

Op

Just read your history

You sound like you’re really trying

My teenager has a savings account he can't access until he is 16 or 18 or whatever it is, he doesnt know the details so cant access the money without my permission even when he reaches this age. This is where money he used to get given when he was younger went as he had nothing to spend it on. Now when he gets birthday or Christmas money he can choose to spend it all or put some into this account, to be fair he usually spends it all but the original savings pot is never touched.

The Go Henry card is £3 a month or £36 per year as you aren’t using those features I suggest you cancel the card.

The £20 pocket money woeful be based on jobs done, so deduct what he hasn’t done - but give a minimum of say £5 per week so he has something, at least then he can choose what to spend it on. No money no choice!

I would also cut back in other things, or charge for those things - you tidy his room that’s £5 ‘cost’ to him, you give him a lift that £3 cost to him. This is how things work.

The idea of telling a teen about a savings account that they haven’t put any money in to and you’d rather they didn’t draw on - is baffling.

My children pre teen and both have savings approaching £10k. I have no intention of giving them even a hint. It will grow very substantially by time they are late teens

No idea what I’ll do with it, how I will tell them, whether I tell them or whether I use for bulk driving lessons, car, insurance, travel, deposit for house etc etc

But point is - they won’t know about it when they are 15!

My younger son is 11 and he is quite immature in his concept of money and willingness to earn / spend it! My older son is nearly 15 and more miserly. He doesn’t like to waste money, he will buy expensive things but only things he really wants - gaming console, clothes. He loves saving. He gets pocket money of £10-15 a week dependent on behaviour and overall general helpfulness rather than specific jobs. He hates his room messy anyway, but we’ve had a difficult few years so a behaviour incentive definitely works for us. I wouldn’t normally go along with rewarding for basic good behaviour!