Weed, apprenticeship, drugs test

[BG2015]

My DS18 has just secured a fabulous 4 year apprenticeship with a multi-national company.

When he went for the aptitude test back in April, they were told that if they were successful they would have to take a urine drugs sample before taking the role.

He smokes weed, he uses it a few times a week. He knows I don't agree with it but he's an adult so what can I do. I don't fund him (apart from a driving lesson once a fortnight) so also out of my control.

When he got the email 2 weeks ago about the interview (which was on Friday) he stopped smoking it.

I've bought some tests and he's done one today - positivebut we knew that would be the case.

Anyone have an experience with this. We're not exactly sure when the apprenticeship will start, his dad thinks September which will be ok if they don't call him in soon.

This is a big wake up call for him and I think he's realised that a fantastic opportunity could slip through his fingers through recreational drug use!

I've googled how long it stays in your system but it seems to vary so much!

I couldn't sleep last night for worrying

Alcoholics don't support county lines, gang violence, cuckooing and knife crime. Perhaps if the saddo smokes were legal it would be better, but they aren't and so your son has been funding scum. I hope this is the wakeup call he needs.

I've seen the result of cuckooing and it is horrible, which is why I hate all the 'victimless crime' drug user brigade.

Sorry op but this is our experience too.
They also do random alcohol breath testing and certainly if you turned up looking half cut so it's not like drunks are allowed on site.

Lesson learned; he needs to cut out the
illegal drugs and apply next hiring round.

pretend he's a swimmer and shave everywhere!!!!

and learn his lesson!

There wouldn't be any pleading his case where my family members work. Sorry but it's not school or college now.

He does realise that if they’re testing now he’s going to have to permanently quit taking drugs as they’ll most likely do random drug testing too without any warning and time to cheat the system as you’re doing now.

It doesn't really give these kids a chance to turn their lives around and realise what's a stake does it?

Did your DS not consider what was at stake when he started smoking weed? Why should a firm take on a drug user if they can take on someone who doesn't.

No drug user would be living in my house at 18. Prior to 18 they'd be on every drugs rehabilitation course going.

But I've seen the monumental damage cannabis does. No way I'd be facilitating it.

Working in HR I would advise that he doesn't try to explain his circumstances. The HR people won't have the authority to bend the rules. Perhaps they are doing urine samples for most & random hair testing for others. Perhaps his friend isn't really a friend & is trying to put him off. If he was told urine testing I would be surprised if it was not different but just in case I would be shaving himself bald (all over) and hoping for the best. This could be the best life lesson he ever gets.

It's not a rehabilitation scheme for drug users anyway. It's an apprenticeship for working in a dangerous environment which is looking for responsible young people to invest in.

I totally get what you're all saying and I 100% agree. We live in quite an affluent area and there is quite a bit of drug taking here as many of these kids have parents that give them money.

I think parents that think their kids don't use drugs may be living in a fantasy world. Many will have tried it. Many will continue using. Many won't.

This has been a MASSIVE wake up call for my son. He desperately wants this apprenticeship and is totally aware smoking weed is over for him if he wants a job in engineering.

He applied for so many apprenticeships he'd forgotten about this one and was surprised when he was called for the aptitude test, which he felt he did badly on. He didn't think he was in with a chance and only then were they told about drug testing.

He's 18 and kids make mistakes and make stupid choices. If this is the wake up call he needs and he doesn't get it then it's a hard lesson learnt. He's not trying to cheat or mislead anyone. He's not going to shave his already short hair.

He's going to go for the medical and see what happens.

If this one does go wrong (and it may not) get him to look at it this way: he's been through nearly all the hoops this time, the next opportunity will come in time. Do keep applying.

Give him a pee sample to smuggle in

@stevalnamechanger

Give him a pee sample to smuggle in

Have you read the whole thread?

And no, my son isn't going to cheat!

I think parents that think their kids don't use drugs may be living in a fantasy world.

I never did. None of my close friends did. So my parents weren't living in fantasy world and neither were their parents.

By perpetuating this myth is normalised and minimises drug taking. Make no mistake your DS has a drug habit. He is not trying it once, he has a regular drug habit.

The kids who did weed, if they didnt have serious mental illness before certainly did after. This is true of the kids who were doing weed growing up and the teens I know currently battling addiction. It was also true of the 40 something year old family member who "only smoked socially" who ended up having a psychotic breakdown.

Worrying whether you DS will get through this apprenticeship really should only be the most minor part of the equation. If he intends to stay clean he is going to need serious help. He needs to wholesale chuck out his friendship group. If drugs become the focus of the friendship group, and he stays in contact, there will always be the social pressure to use. And he needs to get support and develop alternative stress coping strategies.

The first sign he intends to stay clean is the friendship group changing. If you're not seeing this you have bigger problems than the apprenticeship. Make no mistake living in a same house with a dope head is no fun, they take everyone down with them

What a mess!

"There wouldn't be any pleading his case where my family members work. Sorry but it's not school or college now."

I do agree with the Petunia comment above. My Dh is part of a big water company, and my sil a big gas company and both get regularly tested.

I think people are deluded how much drug taking goes on on secondary. Of course some people never take anything, ever. But according to my Ds1's friends they are few and far between.

@Hazelnutlatteplease

It doesn't really give these kids a chance to turn their lives around and realise what's a stake does it?

Did your DS not consider what was at stake when he started smoking weed? Why should a firm take on a drug user if they can take on someone who doesn't.

No drug user would be living in my house at 18. Prior to 18 they'd be on every drugs rehabilitation course going.

But I've seen the monumental damage cannabis does. No way I'd be facilitating it.

That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard weeds safer then alcohol ffs if you drink bear your nothing but a hypocrite

I hope he clears it out of his system and gets a wake up call. Far better not to take drugs.
Our son has to take regular random drugs test for work. If he fails, he loses his job, amongst other sanctions. Perfectly possible for young people to live without smoking marijuana or taking other drugs.

Honesty will be the best policy. If it’s a hair test and he admits he’s done it but is now clean, then they know that they are getting an honest member of staff, even if it’s someone who has experimented with weed. If he just takes the hair test and denies it then they know they’d be getting a dishonest drug user, which sounds less of an attractive prospect for an employer.

Lots of teenagers do stupid things, including experiment with illegal drugs, the important thing for him is deciding to stop and stop permanently so he doesn’t bugger up any more job opportunities.

@Bvop

Honesty will be the best policy. If it’s a hair test and he admits he’s done it but is now clean, then they know that they are getting an honest member of staff, even if it’s someone who has experimented with weed. If he just takes the hair test and denies it then they know they’d be getting a dishonest drug user, which sounds less of an attractive prospect for an employer.

Lots of teenagers do stupid things, including experiment with illegal drugs, the important thing for him is deciding to stop and stop permanently so he doesn’t bugger up any more job opportunities.

Exactly my thoughts.

I'm glad he's felt comfortable to admit he's smoked weed to us and that he's now done with it.

He's had no side effects by stopping at all.

Both my brothers (in their 50's experimented with drugs) I didn't. My DP went to raves, experimented. A few of my friends have taken drugs. I didn't know that many of them had until years later.

We're all in our 50's now and have professional jobs and fulfilling lives.

Drug use is more common than I ever realised. I was actually a bit blinkered to it all, as I imagine many parents are.

And all this....no 18 year old of mine would use drugs is frankly rubbish because how the heck would you ever know!

@Owlina it does not annoy me. What annoys me is the number of deaths of young men in the drug trade, which anyone using weed is supporting. Or any middle class middle aged cocaine user.

A pity that the OP could not have been firmer (no driving lessons until a lengthy period without drugs) but given the situation now faced, nothing more probably can be done.

Yes not enough is done to deal with people under the effects of alcohol (roadside breath tests have halved in the last ten years, and I would not be surprised if there are parents on the school run in mornings who would fail on occasions), but two wrongs don't make a right.

[quote newnortherner111]@Owlina it does not annoy me. What annoys me is the number of deaths of young men in the drug trade, which anyone using weed is supporting. Or any middle class middle aged cocaine user.

A pity that the OP could not have been firmer (no driving lessons until a lengthy period without drugs) but given the situation now faced, nothing more probably can be done.

Yes not enough is done to deal with people under the effects of alcohol (roadside breath tests have halved in the last ten years, and I would not be surprised if there are parents on the school run in mornings who would fail on occasions), but two wrongs don't make a right.[/quote]
And how many die due to smoking or alcohol both completely legal that is not an argument at all if weed was legal it would reduce crime by a shit tone

Make no mistake your DS has a drug habit. He is not trying it once, he has a regular drug habit.

He smokes a few times a week... Do people who have a glass of wine or s pint of beer in the evening, a few times in a week, have a serious drinking problem (alcohol is just a legal drug anyway)? Are they alcoholics? Do they need to go to AA?

He knows I don't agree with it but he's an adult so what can I do.
He's 18 and kids make mistakes and make stupid choices.
It doesn't really give these kids a chance to turn their lives around and realise what's a stake does it?

You were right the first time, he's and adult and takes the consequences for the adult decision to be a drug user which I assume you pointed out to him. Maybe not the apprenticeship drug testing specifically, but enough to know there could be repercussions at any point.

I hope he passes and gets his apprenticeship, but if he doesn't hopefully this is the wake up call he needs to keep away from it. There is no point pleading his case, there will be plenty of young boys ready to take the opportunity. Why would any employer, especially in engineering where safety is paramount, take this risk with a known drug user. Good luck with the test.