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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

What should I do if I'm being accused of saying something I didn't say?

4 replies

BritBoy · 14/05/2021 20:52

A few months ago, back in February, me and my stepdad had a fall out. It was over something really stupid. He just had a different way of going about emptying a warmer to me. He offered to empty mine for me and I said "But Mum said last time you did it that way, you broke it". He didn't like it. He got in my face and said "Don't try and get smart with me". I just walked away and then spent the rest of the night in tears texting my mum telling her that I was fed up. Somehow my stepdad saw the messages the next day and we talked about it, made up, that was that.

A few weeks ago, him and my sister fell out when she drunkenly forgot that he asked her not to drop her fag butts on the decking. The next night him, my brother, and my mum had a talk about how we were all going to live together if we weren't always going to see eye to eye, and he mentioned that I told my mum he had threatened to beat me up. I never said that. I've gone through the messages countless times and I've never once mentioned violence. Then my mum went telling my grandparents and family and friends that I said that and made me look like the bad person. I want to confront her over this but I'm not sure it's worth another fall out. What should I do?

OP posts:
OhTheIronyOfItAll · 15/05/2021 07:34

It is awful that your mum would say that if you never said it. Your mum should be putting her children first over her partner rather than stirring up trouble between you.

I’m never very good at offering advice but just wanted to bump your thread so someone else could maybe help. Sorry you have to deal with all this Flowers

blackcat86 · 15/05/2021 07:38

To be honest I would bypass your mum and go to your grandparents if they are sensible. Explain what has happened. Personally I would also speak to your education setting (if you're still at school, college or uni) because what he has said actually worries me that your may at risk in the future because he has this 'beat you up' on the brain and is now creating an environment where you won't be believed. Is your biological involved- can you talk to him? Get support and then speak to your mum as she is likely to be defensive about her partner.

BritBoy · 15/05/2021 09:05

Yes, I spend the day with my Dad and my grandparents on his side every Sunday.

My Mum deliberately befriended my best friend (who I work with at a preschool) - always thought of her as a second Mum. I feel like she did that so she wouldn't believe me if I tried to open up to her. Now that I have been trying to explain the situation to her and ask for help, she just keeps on saying that she doesn't really understand.

OP posts:
BritBoy · 15/05/2021 22:39

Sorry, I forgot to say, thanks for the replies so far.

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