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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DS (16) feeling completely overwhelmed - what should he do???

3 replies

Bellaisoneluckywoman · 14/05/2021 20:46

Recently DS has become close to a girl who is extremely depressed. Apparently her family is part of the problem (they are really anti therapy so don't want her to get help) and she hates her school where she feels she can't talk to anyone there. As a consequence, she seems to be entirely reliant on DS, who is hugely sympathetic but is feeling overwhelmed, panicky and stressed and as if he has become responsible for her mental health. I think he almost worries she could attempt suicide if he tried to back off (which he is desperate to do). I am at a loss as what to advise him. I feel absolutely dreadful for this poor girl, but equally can see it isn't right or fair for DS to be carrying all this responsibility on his shoulders. Does anyone have any suggestions for a good way of handling this situation? TIA.

OP posts:
CarnationCat · 14/05/2021 20:51

He could encourage her to seek help through the doctors or school support.

He is not responsible for his girlfriend. This is obviously affecting his own mental health. He should encourage her to seek support but also needs to look after himself.

Christmasfairy2020 · 16/05/2021 15:38

Teach him the difference between empathy and sympathy. If he sympathises it makes it worse and it affects him and burdens her less

DinosaurDiana · 16/05/2021 15:41

He needs to know that he is not responsible for her. If she attempts/ goes through with anything it is not on him.
He’s too young to have this on him, I hope for his sake he makes a break soon.
My DS had a similar situation but it took him 2 years to get out of it. The last 6 months were spent wanting to leave but being too scared to.

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