10 and 13 year old happy just staying at home & Gaming...... is this OK?

[TomNooksbuddy]

Need to some perspective from parents of older teenagers.

BEFORE COVID we had strict screen time (like really strict) limits in place, the kids did at least three activities a week.

All that has gone to shit. 10 year old watches YouTube all weekend. The 13 year old plays mind craft all day.

neither talk to friends outside school unless I arrange it.

BUT they are both happy, we get on well, they help round the house, we watch TV together, and get good school reports. And don't use any social media.

UM do I make them do clubs / go out? Or just be grateful they are OK?I just can't tell if I am doing the right thing. I want to be a good parent to them, does that mean letting them crack on or forcing them out?

I don’t know. I personally wouldn’t like it.

My children are the same- before covid, they only had an hour a day of screen time but the last year has meant they’re on screens most the day for school work/homework/tutors/music lessons /zooming friends/zoom quiz’s/zoom family meet ups, and then have their computer recreational time.

As this isn’t a normal time in their lives, I’ve had to stop myself feeling guilty about it, but as we’ve started to being allowed to go out more we will start putting more restrictions in place. For instance at the weekend, kids can only go the computer after they’ve been a family walk.

I’m slowly implementing the restrictions again though as I’m aware their lives are more boring than before covid so it’s not fair to ban computer time if they have nothing to do instead.

Same
I’m starting to push more
Family trips and exercise

I wouldn’t mind if they are happy hot both have gained a lot of weight

We are all the same , got far too used to chilling at home

Same in our house!
Now that clubs are starting up again my children are starting to get out a bit more and as of Monday they can have friends over again.
To be fair to them it’s all they’ve been able to do for the last 15 months. As long as they’re both ok - and are showing a little interest in getting back out and about - I really wouldn’t worry.

I think being physically back at school is quite a big thing for them after so long out. I'd give them plenty of slack until the end of school year before reassessing.
Keeping home life calm is a big thing for me

You say they’re happy... there are so many parents on here who would love to be able to say that.

There’s so much pressure to do clubs etc - I know because I felt it. I thought I was doing the right thing pushing them to go. I wasn’t.
If they want to pursue any they can let you know. Chances are they’ll give them up anyway

I wouldn't have been happy with ds spending all his time gaming at that age. It would limit his experiences and social development. The impact wouldn't be apparent immediately but over time he would be less inclined to try new things and be less competent and confident of interacting and problem solving in the real world.

Nothing wrong with gaming but there needs to be a balance.

After a wonderful oudoor activity holiday with other kids some years ago my DS commented that he had not missed gaming or the internet because he had had so much interesting stuff to do.

I think a lot of kids spend time gaming because they have nothing more interesting to do. Now that lock down has eased there are many more opportunities opening up again. Generally speaking, I think young people are happier and healthier, physically and mentally, if they are out and about interacting with their peers rather than sitting on a computer in the bedroom.

Thanks all. From the replies I think we'll just slowly ease them out of all day gaming as the opportunities arise. We have a few fun weekends booked, so that will help.

They really aren't keen, but as you say, it's just easier for them to stick with what they know.

It's just nice having them about !