16yo boy with possible eating disorder. What do I say to his mother?

[Flamingoose]

My friend confided in me that she's worried about her 16yo son, John. He's very thin, refusing to eat, and is losing weight. She thinks he may have an eating disorder.

My 15yo daughter is good friends with John. I asked my daughter if she thinks his mother is right to be worried. My daughter says yes, absolutely she should be worried and she suspects the same thing. But she also says that John's mother is a big part of the problem. She wants the best for him but she can be very overbearing. He feels smothered and hemmed in by her parenting. My daughter says that his family rather than his friends is the main cause of stress for him.

What, if anything, do I say to my friend? If I say something, how do I phrase it? Do I just mention that my daughter agrees there's something up, and leave it at that?

I really don't think you should have told your daughter.

Do people normally offload the reason for their eating disorder onto someone else.
Seems a bit unfair - basically it means your eating disorder cannot be fixed as it is someone else who is causing it.
I dont' say others aren't influencing people's lives but he is 16 not a child and too young to make their own decisions. Not sure anyone can help except maybe tell him to speak to someone - counsellor, teacher etc

She didn't tell her DD. She asked her if she thought John could have an eating disorder. She is friends with John and is in a good place to know if that's likely or not.

I would just say that having spoken to your DD that his friends share her concerns and perhaps point her in the direction of some counselling groups she can contact.

itsgettingweird - thank you. That's a good idea. Helpful but not too intrusive.