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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Who to turn to. Can't communicate with DS

6 replies

ihavethehighground · 07/05/2021 17:00

DS told a teacher that something worrying had happened about 5 weeks ago. School investigated it today and could not get a straight story from DS . He meets a friend every Saturday but he tells us that his friend was not there that day, so DS got talking to 2 kids in the park who he had never met before. He can't tell me what school the kids go to.
At first, ds told me they had walked to a certain place which is 5 miles away. I showed him his Google location history and he then agreed he was wrong.
It had in fact been been a local place.
I am really confused about all this. I'm sure he wouldn't have approached a teacher if he had anything to hide?
I'm also puzzled that he got the location totally wrong.
We've spoken about not going off with people who he's just met etc. Maybe it's all a big adventure to him? I can't say what he alleged to have happened as it is very outing but I am thinking there is some fabrication/ imaginary things perhaps.
Should I ask for help from MAST ?

OP posts:
TatteredHare · 07/05/2021 17:15

How old is he? Was it children he met or adults? What did they do when he went off with them?

It's so so hard to advise without further details

TatteredHare · 07/05/2021 17:20

I think I'd be tempted to sit him down and say something along the lines of ' Look, it's my job to ensure you're safe and protected at all times and I can't do that unless you tell me what's going on. You're not in trouble and I only want to help and sort this out so that you feel better'

Something like that

ihavethehighground · 07/05/2021 17:23

@TatteredHare

How old is he? Was it children he met or adults? What did they do when he went off with them?

It's so so hard to advise without further details

Kids. He is 14. Went exploring some old ruins near to our house
OP posts:
TatteredHare · 07/05/2021 17:32

My youngest is 14 and I wouldn't like this at all but bar a bollocking about not going off with people we don't know, I don't see the issue?

ihavethehighground · 07/05/2021 17:43

@TatteredHare

My youngest is 14 and I wouldn't like this at all but bar a bollocking about not going off with people we don't know, I don't see the issue?
He said something had happened and if he's lying it has wasted police time
OP posts:
lljkk · 08/05/2021 11:51

When I was 5 or 6 some man lured me onto his lap and tried to get into my trousers. Another child figured out what was happening & dragged me away.

We told my parents who called police.... and then I lied about where it happened. Because I wasn't allowed to play there. The child who had rescued me was very angry at my lie but gave up trying to correct it.

Point being that people mix lies into truths when they have fears about other aspects of the situation. That's what OP's story sounds like. Mix of truths & fibs. I imagine you could coax fully true story out of him but you have to convince him that you will forgive him about any bits he fibbed on. After that you'd try to get him to come clean with police. Maybe you can convince him that it's the cover-up not the original crime that gets many people into most trouble.

Even if you find he invented the bad-thing-happened story as attention seeking, even then, telling full truth to you & police now is best way to avoid this whole thing escalating to something worse.

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