School refusal

[sampamsnan]

This is my second thread on this. Dd is 15, extremely anxious about going to school since lockdown. Changed schools on her request a couple of weeks ago but took an overdose the day before she was due to start.

I've managed to get her in the door today by going in with her and meeting her head of year before school started but it was awful. Big watery eyes looking at me begging me not to leave her there. She's now messaged me saying she's hiding in the toilets crying.

The head of year didn't seem to understand at all and just kept saying how it's my legal duty to send her and things get nasty if she doesn't go.

I just feel so unsupported. No one seems to understand what she's going through or be taking it seriously. I want to take her out of school but can't afford a tutor. Wondering if a pupil referral unit might be the answer but don't know where to start.

Just at my wits end and broken hearted over everything

Escalate to the Head.
Say you want her to go to school but the school needs to help you make it work.
Say threatening messages from HoY don;t help anyone.

Seek legal advice.

So sorry you have this to deal with .

If your daughter has taken an overdose (sorry, somehow I missed that bit) I would ask the GP to sign her off for a week as this is obviously the top priority.

She needs a lot of support with managing her anxiety. If her life is at risk, which it seems to be, surely her health needs to be prioritised over school attendance?

We've been through school refusal and received fantastic support by child mental health services. One-to-one therapy for the child and a parent guide type system for parents (in a group).

Op I’m not clued on up this as my dd is still little, but if she’s taken an overdose I’d keep her at home and to hell with whatever the head threatens. But I’m aware this may not be the best route.

Have you contacted her GP? Maybe it’s worth getting the ball rolling there, and take her out for a couple of weeks while you and her HOY work out a plan.

I feel so much for you, I really hope you and your Dd get the support you need

Thanks for your replies. Yes I really feel that a suicide attempt should mean that she be given time to get started with counselling etc. Before having the pressure of school again but it seems I can't get anyone to agree.

Although I hadn't thought of asking a GP to sign her off, I suppose I had that in my head as something for working age people. So I'll call the surgery and see if I can get anywhere with that.

@ForwardRanger did the counselling you and your dc received come through camhs?

I hope you get better support going forwards, and your GP is helpful.