At what age would you feel comfortable with your child leaving home?

[inthegutter]

Our dd, 16, has a couple of friends a year older than her who are already talking quite seriously about moving out. I'm not quite sure how realistic this all is, as i know one of them is intending to carry on at college. But it set me wondering: has anyone had children who have moved out during the late teenage stage? Alone or with friends/girlfriend/boyfriend?? How did it all pan out?

so would i if i could go and travel round south america next year but i am going to be bankrupted before i have totally lost from the house price sub prime thing

It's funny how different siblings can be.

I'm definitely the black sheep of the family.

The one that chose to live differently and continues to ruffle the families feathers.

I hope to God I never put presure or limits on ds as he grows and develops, but learn to just let him, 'be'.

i think i mentally left home when my dad was killed when i was 17 and actually went as soon as as i finished ny exams after..it was never home again

oh zippi.

Have you come to terms with that period in your life?

probably not..i was a teenage rebel and then things went pear shaped..apparently he said we were starting to get on shortly before that he wasn't killed he was run over

That's sad.

Dh lost his dad when he was 16.

He feels cheated that he never got the oportunity to really know him as a man.

Dh says he was too wrapped up in being the selfish wild teen, battling and clashing with his father and then suddenly he was dead, leaving a big empty void.

Think he's just starting to come to terms with the loss now, at 45.

i wouldn't let my children leave home under the age of 18 - and we have had the conversation. i simply will do everything i can to stop them from experiencing shitness. my 18yo ds tells me he is never leaving home because he absolutely is under no illusions as to how much things cost - this is because i have sat with him many times whilst having this conversation and we have worked out budgets the choice is then his - he could rent a bedsit and not have a life but have independence - or he can live here and have a life - and a hefty degree of independence.

i don't consider uni to be leaving home even if they decide to board at the other end of the country - just not the same thing to me. i hope to move to a larger place where the kids can all have their own room - and they can stay as long as they like ...ish.

I left home at 19 and it was a bloody shock, I tell you!
I wouldn't think most teenagers are ready for it unless they are livng very close to home and are still quite massively supported by their parents. The financial aspect alone is daunting enough.

Custy you are softening in your old age I could have written that post!I couldn't agree more though I left home too young driven out by loony mum and it is hard I want ds to stay as long as he likes within reason!

I don't know really. i think my parents deliberatly kept me clueless about real life so they could tell me all about how awful it was in the big wide world ... but when I did eventually move out properly (aged nearly 21) my relationship with my mother was poisened almost beyond repair, so, before then would have been good.

And since moving out, I have always found that life is nowhere near as hard and miserable as they cnvinced me it would be ... it doesn't cost £40 a week to heat a mid terrace 2 bed ... it doesn't cost £60 per week to feed oneself ... so everything came as a pleasant surprise.

I was a bit unlucky in that I got to house buying age in 2002, really. ( if I had pulled my lazy act together )

Can I just ask how teenagers afford to leave home though?

Move into a house share, and rely heavily on parental help!

I left home at 19 with my dp, we brought a flat, I certainly wasn't under any illustions. We both worked and could still afford to go out and enjoy ourselves (without the help of credit cards/loans or help from parents). It's now we've got our dd that we're skint

several of dd2s friends have been in mother and baby hostels/in care/young homeless projects etc as teenagers and then it goes on into early twenties

shared houses

staying with friends

often they find themselves in this situation because of parents breaking up...stepparents or new boyfriends etc not wanting them

I left home at 18, to live in a house share with friends a lot older than me, and go to university. I think I lived all my teenage years in the two years from leaving home, to moving abroad to London at age 20. By the time I got to London I was ready to calm down, and put my study head on. I met my husband the day after I came to London.

However, when I was 15, I knew a girl who lived alone in the family house, taking care of her younger brother as her mother had moved to another town for work. The parents were divorced and mum only came home for the weekends. So here was this girl, 15 years old, in a big rambling home, with a younger brother, getting up and getting herself and him to school every morning, coming home, cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning the house, and doing her homework.

40!

I'd not feel happy about either of my two leaving home till they were in their early twenties, unless they go to uni. I want them to get used to wages and basic budgeting before they make the move as I don't fancy bailing them out if they get in a big financial mess when they leave(couldn't afford to anyway!).