Dd faking Covid symptoms to avoid school. Help!

[WhoisRebecca]

Looking for advice about my 15 year old dd who has suspected autism. She will do anything she can to avoid school and will frequently complain of illness. She is now able to exploit the situation with Covid 19 and was sent home from school today after misreporting a cough and loss of taste. She is aware of what she needs to say to be sent home and was in perfect health, full of energy and did not cough once. Meanwhile I have had to come home from work, her stepdad can’t have his overnight contact with his children and her brother and sister have lost out on education. We have gone for a test as per the rules and await the result, which I fully expect will be negative. I appreciate school have little choice here, but I am worried dd will do this repeatedly, knowing it is a strategy that will always work. I’m barely keeping my head above water at work as it is. She has no empathy for the effect it has on the household and I know that isn’t her fault, but I feel so angry and frustrated. I haven’t shown my dd how upset I am, I’ve been very calm - but I’m so so fed up.

@WhoisRebecca

She wants to join - her therapist suggested it. Her therapist thinks that friendships and hobbies outside of school will be great for her. I let her decide those things and she’s asked to go.

My misunderstanding. Sorry.

No problem, I can see why you think it might put pressure on her - but we are going to give it a try and then she can always not go again if she hates it.

@WhoisRebecca

If school ring me, I have immediately leave my workplace and isolate, because I’m a teacher.

Yes I see your difficulty. You say you want to be understanding and not be cross with her but would she understand a consequence? A penalty for telling fibs about this?

I'm unsure if she is deliberately faking symptoms to go home or if she has developed a genuine anxiety over having covid, and actually panics about a random cough or little sniffle (a form of health anxiety).

We have another thread about achool refusal running

It would appear that this is quite an issue for many of us right now

I’ve landed on shorter days and am
In
Contact with the school

You are NOT alone

She has landed on a very smart technique hasn’t she 😱

But you can’t be missing work
Can she be left home alone ?

There are people who do not have the capacity to assess their own symptoms and surely your daughter can fall into this category? (due to autism, anxiety, under CAHMs)

The school could use some common sense here and weigh up the risk/benefit of sending her home each time she reports "symptoms". Particularly if she is a repeat offender of misreporting symptoms.

A member of staff could take her temperature and assess for themselves if she appears well, is presenting with a persistent cough etc? Cases are so low now, the school need to apply their own discretion.

I would advise talking to the school and asking this, get her CAHMS therapist involved to back you up?

She can be left home alone but the problem is that because I’m a teacher, the rules would dictate that I have to go home too. In fact the whole family have to isolate.

Would she respond to you creating a social story to explain the impact this has on you, the children you teach etc? Perhaps you could include a bit about what she can do if she's feeling a bit off and is finding it hard to be at school so she has concrete strategies available to her instead of crying covid?

I would not be isolating, or making the entire family isolate if I had assessed my daughter and she had no temperature or visible symptoms.
I don't think she can be given responsibility for reporting her own symptoms. There needs to be some common sense applied here by the adults supervising her.

The school have a track and trace team who will immediately send her sister home to isolate as well. I’m not sure how much discretion to apply common sense the school have here.