Morning after pill in school bag

[Ifandbutts]

Found empty packet of the morning after pill in my 16 year old daughters school bag .
Her take on this is that it’s none of my business! Turns out that the school are aware of all the details though according to her .
Feel really hurt when I’ve always said to her that I’ll answer any questions she ever has but just know I’ll tell the truth .
Even before she turned 16 I reminded her that if she needed any support or guidance re contraception advice I’m here for her .
( It wasn’t a bag search to explain .. I get sick of all the food from her packed lunches left rotting in her bag). Yes I know I should be grateful that she acted responsibly in the end . She doesn’t have a regular boyfriend says she doesn’t know what love feels like !
I don’t even know if she has caught something ?

Has this happened to you ? Do I just treat her like the lodger now that she is 16 ? Stop making her lunches etc have I done too much ?
What do you do for your 16 year old ?

You don't treat her like a lodger and you put rules in place. She's 16 and quite frankly her attitude stinks.

I took the morning after pill when I was 18 when the condom split but the pharmacist took me into a room to take it. How did she have a packet?

If she is using it as a form of contraception you need to sit her down and explain safe sex.

Also would take her to a clinic if she is having unprotected sex.

quite frankly her attitude stinks

Why, because she has been responsible but isn't ready to tell her mum? Op you have done all you can by letting her know you are there for her but ultimately it is her decision if she wants to involve you.

Also would take her to a clinic if she is having unprotected sex

She is 16 not 6, you can no longer take her anywhere. You can encourage and advise that she visits a clinic but that's it.

Do I just treat her like the lodger now that she is 16? Stop making her lunches etc have I done too much

Having sex doesn't mean she is no longer your child, nor that she no longer needs guidance. If anything she needs it more especially if she is making risky decisions. Keep trying to talk with her , without judgement, still make her lunch (if you want to that is, stopping making lunch shouldn't be because she having sex). It's a bloody difficult time for you as a parent, and some replies will be from parents of much younger children.

Rules have changed regarding emergency contraceptives. You no longer have to take it in front of the pharmacist to receive it for free. Equally, if you decide to pay for it yourself, you can also take it with you.

I think you are being a little OTT. Supply her with condoms and talk to her about STDs and safe relationships. Tell her that you are proud of her for being proactive in being responsible for her own body.

I would be livid with my daughter at 16 for saying its none of my business she knows she is the result of the morning after pill failing to work (after a condom split) you should always use double protection anyway pill and condom (I was taken off the pill due to medical issues before anyone calls me a hypocrite)

Being generous towards her taking the map made me grotty but if this is her usual attitude...

I think you have to work on communication.

If you start treating her as a lodger, I think there is no chance of improving that.

How would you describe communication with you on other issues? How do you think she would?

I might get flamed for this but I can understand how she feels. I definitely did not share these things with my mum when I was that age and probably would have told her the same thing as your daughter told you if we had gotten to the same situation.
But me and my mother never got along and she was openly slut shaming me, I remember one example when I was 15 and wearing make up she asked me when I went to my DF’s office if it was my intention to seduce someone there. I was just trying to look nice.

I’m not saying that you’re being the same to your DD as my mother was to me but I wonder how your attitude is towards sex?
Do you talk about it as something shameful?
Do you tell her that she has the right to make decisions about her own body and nobody has the right to judge her for that?

I would try to have an open conversation with her and convince her to get tested for STD’s, she should know that unprotected sex can not only result in an unwanted pregnancy but can come with serious health consequences too, some that are irreversible.

She's done the responsible thing. I took the morning after pill at 16, and didn't tell my mum. We were (and are) very close, but there were (and are) some things I wanted to keep private.

I'd say keep the lines of communication open, remind her that you love her and are happy to talk if she wants to, and also remind that pregnancy is not the only consequence of unprotected sex.

Just to add that the shaming does damage the relationship, I was practicing safe sex but was being ultra cautious taking the MAP. I kept my mouth shut about it because I (quite rightly) predicted what my mums reaction would be, and when she found the packet it just confirmed everything I suspected.

What are your concerns specifically? Is she behaving differently? Anything worrying?

It might be more constructive to consider why are you upset, and plan out what you want to communicate to her - as from the outside she is being proactive preventing a pregnancy.

Book appointment at sex clinic for implant

I think you need to unpick what you're actually upset about here OP.

That she's hidden something from you?

That she's having sex even though she doesn't have a boyfriend?

That you think she's had unprotected sex?

Are you maybe just a bit shocked that your little girl has grown up?