Husband has problem with my teenager

[1982lgr]

Where do I start? My teenager is a good boy (17) never had any trouble. Glowing school reports. Never been rude or agreessive or caught in a bad crowd.
All in all he is a joy. However my husband has a teenage boy(18) that lives with his mother and is quite problematic at home. Disrespectful. Aggressive and has some anger problems but nothing too major. He stays with us less and less nowadays. He's always been respectful towards me and can be quite pleasant. My husband has no relationship with him or my son. It seems everytime we get a call about his behavior we try to fix it and also have a nice weekend together as a family and help him buy stuff or fix the things he's broken. He won't contact my husband until my husband tries to contact him (normal for age) I think. My husband will then get depressed and is where the fun starts. He will become withdrawn and not interact with m son so my son feels nervous around him and I get mad and we stop talking and it all goes down hill. My husbands latest thing is my son sleeping until 12pm at weekends and days he's not at college. So now the house has an atmosphere AGAIN. I have told my husband I don't have a problem as I was like that as a teen but he doesn't understand and sees it as lazy. He also spends most time in his room except for meal times and going to the gym/ college. I can't keep having these feelings of anxiety and walking around on egg shells. I'm beginning to dislike my husband as this has been going on for year's.

I don't think this is a term problem. As you say lots of 17 to sleep till midday and if he's planning on Uni, he can sleep till when he likes.

I'm also not surprised that your DS doesn't want to leave his room either, home doesn't sound very good fir him does it?

If your DH is so well informed about what teens should be doing as is such an expert, how come he doesn't have any kind of relationship with the two teen boys in his life?

I'd repost in the relationships section because you definitely don't have a Teen problem, you have a massive H problem.

I'd dislike your husband too if I was you. My teen is virtually invisible at the moment. It's normal at his age to lie in, hang about in their room and eat vast quantities of food. There is no need to be annoyed about this or create an atmosphere. Your husband needs to grow up.

I agree with others. Your husband is the one causing the issues here.

*teen problem

You have a dh problem.

Sounds like he is jealous of your son being able to play computer games in his room with his mates on the internet and is happy. Sleeps in when nothing scheduled. Has what looks like an easy life.

Meanwhile your husband can’t do that. I think he is jealous.

Does he pay the majority of the household bills? I ask because there a lot of guys who feel that they are the breadwinners and the wife (and in your case your child) should be grateful he allows her to stay there kinda thing.

I think he wants his own son to contact him and be perfect etc and he doesn’t. Which is normal as you say. Parents generally do the contacting.

So the fact that you have a nice boy at home and his doesn’t bother his backside with his dad probably annoys him too.

Your DH needs to grow up and stop being a moody manchild.