Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

What to do about this?

5 replies

Goonthenjustonemore · 01/05/2021 03:30

Hello, anyone who's up!

Last night a group of four or five young people were passing by our door and one of them shouted the word ‘cripple’ through our letterbox. They are in my son's year at school (2nd year at High School in Scotland). He has spina bifida (mild, but walks with a visible limp). My son was upstairs in his room and could see the group, but didn’t hear what was shouted. He did identify a couple of the boys.

I've just put together an email for my son's pastoral teacher. My instinct is not to make a massive thing about it. He's been struggling with being back at school after lockdown and I don't want to add to his issues. He can be a bit of a loner - has a few nice friends but very much prefers his own company. He has mild Asperger's too. We didn’t tell him what was said, just put it down to people playing chap-door-run or being a bit silly.

It’s very possible that he finds this kind of language less distressing than we do as his parents, though obviously it's very much not ok. I've asked to have the incident noted and for the school to keep an eye on things. And I've given them the names of the boys my son identified. (Can they even do anything about something that happens out of school?).

Basically, though my blood is boiling at the thought of them getting away with it, I feel that making a fuss might not be what's best right now. What would you do?

OP posts:
MadMadMadamMim · 01/05/2021 03:48

I think you've done exactly the right thing.

The school should be doing something. I'd be tempted to tell the school that you are viewing this as a Disability Hate Crime and are considering reporting to the police.

Make it clear that any further comments made by any of these individuals or group - whether in school our out - and you will be doing so. The police take this really seriously.

It would help if the school had the boys in individually, perhaps with parents, and pointed out the serious nature of this. I'm assuming they are 13-14? It needs nipping in the bud now. I would make a fuss because I think it's likely to escalate and they will wind themselves up for a lot of low level jeering and bullying if they get away with this.

I'm sorry you've had to go through this. It's really hurtful.

miltonj · 01/05/2021 04:11

Call the police. It's a hate crime. They need to know there will be consequences for their vile actions. It's possible your son actually did hear what was said, he needs to know you have his back. I'm so sorry, it must be heartbreaking to have your son treated this way xx

Saltyslug · 01/05/2021 04:35

Yes email the school but also mention that if this behaviour is repeated you’ll be going to the police and logging it due to disability being a protected characteristic in law.

TeenMinusTests · 01/05/2021 06:50

I think you have done just the right thing.

Goonthenjustonemore · 01/05/2021 09:39

Thank you so much for your replies. It is heartbreaking.

Yes, I think he possibly did hear. I've changed my draft email to the school to take out refs to just having the incident noted for now, and have told them that we're trying to find out if it's been happening at school. DH is taking him out in the car this morning and will try and find out. It's not necessarily something he would tell us as he's inclined to not want a fuss about anything. I will mention to the school about it being a hate crime.

It's just rubbish. This is a small town and there are some even smaller minds here. But maybe you get it everywhere. Thank you again.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread