Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

Piercings

18 replies

stepford1 · 21/04/2021 11:37

My DD (year 9 - 14 & full of attitude) is badgering me to get A/ a second ear piercing and B/ a belly button piercing... her school doesn't allow earrings with uniform so I am more inclined to let her do the latter - hubby is totally against this as sees it as too sexualising - am I being really far too lenient/foolish?

Any advice from parents with OLDER teens only please as frankly what we were allowed to do as teens is not relevant - attitudes to piercings and tattoos have changed so much so looking for genuine advice and references to guide me and help me present my case to DD

OP posts:

Rshard · 21/04/2021 11:43

My dd is 15 and we’ve been relaxed about piercings. She has two lobe piercings, plus front and back helix in one ear. School only allows one in each ear, so she tends to keep her helixes in, except for pe when they have to be taken out. She’s desperate for a nose piercing but we’ve said to wait until she finishes school which she’s cool with.

Multiple piercings are pretty standard around here to be honest. Much more so than when I was her age.

Your dd might need to take the belly piercing out for pe?

littleredberries · 21/04/2021 11:43

All I can say is that I was allowed piercings at 14 and it didn't take me long, something like two years, to regret them. I now have a DD and she'll have to wait until she is older than 14.

CandyLeBonBon · 21/04/2021 11:45

@stepford1

My DD (year 9 - 14 & full of attitude) is badgering me to get A/ a second ear piercing and B/ a belly button piercing... her school doesn't allow earrings with uniform so I am more inclined to let her do the latter - hubby is totally against this as sees it as too sexualising - am I being really far too lenient/foolish? Any advice from parents with OLDER teens only please as frankly what we were allowed to do as teens is not relevant - attitudes to piercings and tattoos have changed so much so looking for genuine advice and references to guide me and help me present my case to DD

I don't think body piercings are legal under 16?

PlatinumBrunette · 21/04/2021 11:45

My take on the belly button piercing is that it’s a way to rebel at a young age while still keeping to the strict school rules.

They do have a tendency to go yucky, so if you let her go with it make sure it’s done professionally and she keeps on top of the after care.

I have no words on your DH’s attitude though. Yuk.

ChiefBabySniffer · 21/04/2021 11:46

My dad is now 23 and had her ears pierced at 11. Then at 13 she started volunteering to do reception at a local piercing parlour with a friend of mine. Then she had her belly button done at 14 and nipples done at 17 or 18. tongue at 20.

It's her body. If I had said no she would likely have found something much worse to do. A piercing hurts nobody but herself . And they can be removed

PlatinumBrunette · 21/04/2021 11:47

@CandyLeBonBon There are only age limits on genital piercing. Or individual studio-set limits. Usually a parent has to attend for under 18s.

Mammymar · 21/04/2021 11:49

I'm fairly relaxed about piercings as I had a few when I was a teen. My DD is 13 and has a second piercing. She wants her belly button pierced and I have agreed. She's a great kid, gives me no trouble ever so a couple of piercings is not going to change her. She is in no way rebelling.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 21/04/2021 13:30

My mum let me get my belly button done when I was 14. She researched a good place, took me and came in with me. My dad didn't know, he also didn't know when we were on holiday when I was about the same age and went and got piercings while we were out at the shops. Was just walking by a tattoo place in (in this country) my dad went to a shop and I asked my mum if I could go in and get my ears peicer and she gave me money to go. My dad was really strict about that kind of thing and all it did was make me push back and when I got to 16 I had loads of piercings and was going to get tattoos. He was really strict about a lot of things, and generally there was no need because I was a good child, and it just made me rebel.
I would allow my dd to have it done as long as I knew where she was going they would do it properly.
I'm not sure how it's sexualising .

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 21/04/2021 13:33

Also, I don't regret any of my percents and I'm 31. I took my belly button and tongue out when I was pregnant and if I could get them back in I would still be wearing them (I'm too much of a shitebag to get them done again though).
I love wearing loads ofittle earrings and I still have a tiny nose hoop. Not everyone regrets them.

Eachpeachpears · 21/04/2021 13:42

I had my belly peirced at 15, essentially to try and fit in. About 6 months later, my appendix burst and I needed surgery. I had to take it out and couldn't get it back in. I'm so glad I couldn't. Its healed nicely and I don't look like a wannabe spice girl.
However, at 15 I got it done behind my parents back because they said no so from a parents perspective I'd be inclined to say let her. They can be taken out of there are issues

ChiefBabySniffer · 21/04/2021 13:43

For clarity my daughter had lots of piercings and doesn't regret any at 23. She's currently breast feeding and so has removed her nipple piercings.

I am early forties and heavily tattooed. I also don't regret a single one. Not even the impulse tattoos I got as a teen. I love them.

hartwood · 21/04/2021 14:37

Explain to her what it will look like if she ever has kids?

I got mine done at 14 and never thought about this, now I basically have an extra belly button (although it's really not the end of the world to be honest).

SquirmOfEels · 21/04/2021 14:57

You need to find a unified position with your DH - it's quite important that teens don't ever get to play one parent off against the other.

I let DD have two piercings per lobe (done at 11 and 15) but told her I would not consent to further piercings, but that she could have others done at 16 when she could consent for herself (local bye-laws). She's not had anything else done, so the ones she really, really, really wanted a couple of years ago weren't such a fixed desire.

But I'd tell your DH never to refer to piercings as too sexualising in her earshot. He can just say he doesn't like them. And then you (jointly?) persuade him to relent, or she'll have to wait until she can consent for herself.

ChiefBabySniffer · 21/04/2021 14:58

@hartwood

Her body does not belong to the fictional children that she may or may not choose to never have

Todaytomorrowyesterday · 21/04/2021 15:03

We’ve been flexible with piercing. She has a nose and a few ear ones. Her dad hates the nose one but she wanted it a middle nose one and I said no just one nostril one (I don’t know the technical names)

I’ve said no to the belly button one (only because mine got infected and it caused no end of trouble for me and scarred) at the end of the day it’s her choice so we’ve tried to meet in the middle

She nearly 18 now so will no doubt do what she wants!

Heartofglass12345 · 21/04/2021 15:51

How is a belly button piercing sexualised? What were his reasons I would love to know.
If she doesn't like it she takes it out.
If she ends up with a scar, well isn't that what being a teenager is about, experimenting and learning?
I had different parts of my ears pierced by the time I was 16 (before you needed parents consent lol) I had my lip pierced at 17 and my nipple at 18. I don't regret any of them!
I would have had more but I trained as a learning disabilities nurse and it would have been risky.
I'm 36 now and only wear one earring permanently but still have the holes in my lobes if I want to wear earrings.
The hole in my lip is tiny now and no one except my husband sees my nipples so can't see the closed up hole lol

CandyLeBonBon · 21/04/2021 15:57

@hartwood

Explain to her what it will look like if she ever has kids?

I got mine done at 14 and never thought about this, now I basically have an extra belly button (although it's really not the end of the world to be honest).

What? I have had three children and I got my belly button pierced way before I had my kids. Piercing is absolutely fine and still looks great! Not sure why you've got a 'second belly button' but that's not normal, surely?!

Mydogisagentleman · 21/04/2021 16:50

Our DD had her lobes pierced aged about 6 or7.
She then decided she would have various areas of her ears done, I had to sign her consent for as she was under 18.
I managed to talk her out of a septum piercing but she has a tiny hoop in her nostril. She’s always looked after her piercings herself and never had any problems.On her 18th she went to the piercers and had her nipples done.
She had nothing but trouble with them and took the bars out recently

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread