parents giving alcohol to the friends of their children (14/15 y.o.)

[babybel12]

Hi all, my son is 15 but is the eldest in his class so the other kids are a mix between 14 and 15. He tells me that when the other kids go on sleepovers to each others homes that one of the parents will give them alcohol to drink and they will pretty much get plastered. I can understand a parent giving their own underage child alcohol but isn't it an entirely different kettle of fish to provide and allow someone else's child with alcohol when they are in loco parentis? It hasn't happened to him yet but I would be really angry if someone else's parent gave my child alcohol to drink without my permission. Am I the only one who thinks this is really out of line? Would love some opinions, thanks.

That’s pretty unbelievable and completely out of line IMO.

Yes of course it is. When my eldest started drinking the parents would defo speak to each other and check what was/wasn't allowed. At first it would be llike one of the little tubby cans of kopperberg each. They certainly weren't being bought enough to get plastered!

My DC's friends' parents would always check with me first before providing alcohol (and that was at 16/17 - I'd say 14/15 was too young).

Unacceptable. At a bare minimum, this needs to be checked with parents before the event.

Not that kids in the UK should be having sleepovers at the moment anyway...

It's unacceptable. I have always allowed my two to drink at home from around that sort of age but when they've had friends over have said no.

Dd did go away for a week with a friend and her mum knew I allowed dd to drink a little and she asked me in advance whether I gave dd permission to drink small amounts with a meal whilst with them.

Thanks for your replies! What a relief to hear I'm not the only who feels this way. Paralysedbyenertia you are right about sleepovers being a no-no at the moment but they are happening nonetheless. It's a difficult one. My child has been told he is allowed to drink alcohol if he wants as long as it is at home and in controlled amounts but he chooses not to drink at all (so far) . I don't want to stop my child having fun and seeing his friends at all but I find myself wondering what will happen when lockdown restrictions are removed and he wants to stay with his friends again?

Wow I wouldn't be happy with that! I remember the first time DS went to a party and alcohol was provided, it was a 16th and the boys mum text to check I was happy with him having a bottle of beer. I'm not gullible to believe they are angels, but I'm relieved DS's friends and their parents all generally sing off the same hymn sheet as us so we're not battling over friends being allowed to do more than DS

14-15 seems very young for this, especially if they're drinking enough to get "plastered"!

He tells me that when the other kids go on sleepovers to each others homes that one of the parents will give them alcohol to drink and they will pretty much get plastered.

Where's your evidence of this?

Would be approaching with a large pinch of salt.

That’s awful. Surely the parent could/should get in trouble for that. Why on earth would you want a bunch of drunken teens in your home anyway? I’d be really cross if this happened with my kids.

Parents should check in re alcohol at that age. I think 14 is too young to drink, but I know DS has had the odd drink from 15.
Now ds is 17 I don’t check in as it’s accepted there will be drink on bdays - but I only supply cider & beer (they prefer cider). No spirits given until they’re old enough to buy their own.
His friends are mainly geeky - looking to go to good unis etc and I know the majority of the parents. It may be different if you don’t know who he’s hanging around with.

Yes. I'm dealing with this currently. My 14 year Olds best friends parents allow and provide them both with alcohol to drink in their home. I'm furious that they would give my daughter alcohol without a thought to how we might feel about it. I understand kids being kids, but she wouldn't he drinking otherwise...