I have name changed for this.
I am worried generally about my 17 year old DS; he has ADHD and low self esteem generally, I believe mainly because of the adhd. He left school last year having managed to scrape the basics that he needs in his GCSEs; he's poor at literacy as he's also dyslexic but he's good at maths and is generally bright but has rejected all things academic due to his experience of being SEN in a mainstream state school.
Since leaving school he has attended the local FE college, changed his course once and in January this year he dropped out completely. He said we'd pushed him to do the wrong courses - he' d wanted to do bricklaying but we felt that he was too bright for this and also his dad's a builder and he has shown no interest in building whatsoever; whenever he's supposed to go to work with his dad, he can't get out of bed half the time (weed hangover) so we didnt think he was genuinely interested. Before he dropped out of college he got a job in a warehouse which he really enjoyed; they offered him a contract but when they realised he was only 17 they told him to come back when he's 18 due to insurance issues. He has a few friends that he still sees from school but his friendship group broke apart a lot as they all went to different colleges; this also makes me question how strong they ever were to begin with. He has always struggled a bit with friendships and they seem to.chop and change a lot although he's got one best mate that he's had since primary.
He started smoking weed about a year or so ago and he's now on it most days. I am not completely anti drugs but im worried because he's young, he's on it daily and he has no direction in life. No real hobbies; he used to play footy and was quite good but that's fallen by the wayside. He's interested in boxing and he's strong and naturally quite good at it but the one time we took him to boxing club he got in a fight at school the next week and ended up being excluded for a day so we're trying not to encourage the fighting thing. Every other thing we try to get him into, he's not interested in. He has no hobbies other than getting stoned and sometimes playing his xbox.
This morning he had a driving lesson booked but cancelled it as he's "hungover". This means we'll still have to pay the instructor.
All this is complicated by the fact that his sister and I moved a few hours away last September as she's started a new school here. So he's at home with his dad and we go.back weekly to see him. Where I live is lovely and I keep trying to coax him to come here and start back to college / get a job here but he won't. So I'm travelling back to see him once every 2 weeks.
I dont know what Im asking really other than what can we do about his general attitude to life and weed smoking. I just feel that he's almost 18 and I can't physically stop him from smoking weed. Im just so worried about him and his lack of direction in life. Any advice on what we can do? Anything glaringly obvious that we've missed? He's applying for jobs - well we're applying for jobs for him - but they're a bit thin on the ground. I got him an interview at MacDonalds but he wouldn't do it. I think this is down to a lack of confidence in himself.
Sorry this is long and waffly.