17 year old smoking

[Feelingtakenaback]

Just seen him leaning out of his bedroom window. He didn't see me. This has never happened before.

He's been to parties & I would guess (after tonight!) must have been smoking at those. I had no clue.

Some slight "well-I-tried-it- at-his-age" feeling from me......but I would never have smoked at home.

I'm a single parent. So far I've said nothing to him. How should I deal with it?

At 17 they are/nearly are an adult so it is probably limited what you can do. My ds saw my dad struggling with copd for years so hopefully that is enough to put him off ever trying.

I smoked at that age, but so did my parents with no ill health at the time, and all 4 dgps (40/day gran lived to 98!), so I am a bit of a hypocrite, but if ds(17) started my initial reaction would be anger and tears because he saw what my dad went through.

When I calmed down I would tell him how disappointed I was, that I do not want it in my home so he can go elsewhere to do it, and I would not enable it financially so pocket money would be stopped. I would also regularly tell him he stank.

Stay calm, tell him you saw him smoking, tell you you absolutely do not approve, and inform him it's not allowed in your home or on your property.

WeAllHaveWings - thanks. Sorry about your dad. I feel surprisingly calm, so hopefully the disappointed/ not in my house/ no pocket money conversation will stay calm. Definitely think that is the approach. Am genuinely disappointed.

He has been going out with his mates quite a lot in the last couple of weeks, and I can't stop him either going, or what he does when he goes. That must have been when he started. I wouldn't stop him seeing his mates after the year they've had (and probably wouldn't succeed anyway) so I might have to live with the fact he does it when out & hope he sees sense soon enough.

Aqua - absolutely right. But nice to feel I'm on the right track, so thanks for the reply 🙏