Curfew

[Maurice169]

My daughter turned 15 in March, she’s 6 months younger than the rest of her friends, who turn 16 in October.

She goes out and about shopping and hanging out locally then heads back to a friends to watch a movie. That’s a usual Friday/Saturday night.

She txts me to pick her up at 11-11.20 pm, it’s a five minute drive. Recently she’s been asking to stay until midnight and get an Uber home as that time I’m usually asleep.
I’m ok with it but DH says no way, he said me picking up at 11.20 is what we agreed and any later is too late.

So now a big battle has ensued 😕

What time/curfew do other 15/16 year olds have?

Thanks

I would not want her get an uber at 12pm if its only 5 minutes away you won't sleep anyway to she is home compromise and say one of the nights 12pm if she is drunk deal off.

My 15 year old son has to be home by 9.30pm if it's not a school night. He doesn't go out on a school night. I'm definitely more strict than most of his friends parents though

I have a 15yo dd and I wouldn't. 11:30pm and a lift home is more than generous for a regular Saturday night.

I wouldn't be comfortable with an Uber so the time should depend on what time is convenient to you. If she is depending on a lift then as part of that deal she should be encouraged to be considerate to that person. Her fun shouldn't regularly supersede your desire to go to bed. I go to bed between 10 -10.30 so fir me that would be my cut off point. I would obviously be flexible if it was a special occasion.

The 6 month age difference is nothing, not sure why you even mention it.

Ds(17) isn't mixing indoors again yet (Scotland), but before lockdown and when he was 15/16 we had a weekend midnight cutoff for lifts home if he was safely indoors at someones house as either dh or I would be up anyway.

The problem isn't the time as midnight is clearly in the normal range of what some parents do, it is whether you are willing to stay up and she needs to accept your answer.

9pm on a weeknight.
12:30am on a weekend.

In saying that, I stay up until 1-3 am most nights, don't drink, and enjoy a sneaky midnight McDonalds cheesy on a weekend. If you were an early to bed type or enjoyed a glass or three of wine in the evening, I can see why you might get annoyed.

Thanks for the responses.
We’ve agreed on 11.30pm at the latest on weekends I’ll pick her up. I don’t drink so it’s no problem; I’ll leave my phone on so if I fall asleep, it’ll wake me up. We’ll review it again when she’s a bit older and out later, then maybe do Uber.

Is she year 10?
Id stick as you are until the summer holidays after year 11 then perhaps give her a bit more freedom if she is sensible.
Dd had to be in early in year 10 but she was not sensible (drinking and self harm) so we had to be stricter.
She is 17 now and a lot more sensible so she can come home later.

I wasn't happy with DDs getting ubers at 15, I'd stick to the picking up at 11.30 if I were you, until she's a bit older. I think year 11 they got an uber account.

I make mine in at 9.30 and she is year 10. Maybe I am too strict!

I think an Uber would be fine. But I’d just pick her up at 12 myself if it were me. I certainly wouldn’t be told by my partner ‘no way’. Why is he so bothered? Its not much later than she’s coming home now. I think with teens, when you can accommodate reasonable requests, then they’re more likely to listen and understand when you really can’t accommodate something. I think this is one of those things that you can accommodate. Pick your battles as they say.