This may seem very tame in comparison to some of the topics on here but I am really getting myself in a state over this and could do with some perspective from more experienced teen parents. I feel like I’ve been transported back into high school drama days!
My 14 year old daughter came from primary with a big group of close friends. They remained that way through year 7 and most of year 8 but then began to drift apart. Lockdown 1 put the nails in the coffins so to speak. She said she was fed up of some of the group telling her what to do.
This splitting of the group was all very sensible really - no hard feelings or bullying just a natural parting of the ways.
So My DD made two new friends in school and had a blast last year seeing one of these friends out of school practically every day. She was in her element. This carried on for 4 months or so until lockdown. The second friend is very sporty and parents push them to train constantly so they have little free time but they are constantly together in school.
Things understandably tailed off during lockdown with them meeting up once a month or so.
I thought over Easter she’d be socialising more again but she’s been out once. Any texts asking about going out are brushed with ‘sorry I’m really busy with family stuff’. This girl is out with other friends which is obviously fine but it’s only a matter of time until my DD realises she’s being fobbed off.
Sporty girl always says she’ll ask her parents but nothing comes of it and my DD is waiting all day for replies.
She’s lonely and rather sad and it’s breaking my heart. She’s desperate to be out having fun.
Thankfully she doesn’t pester these girls - asks once and then leaves it.
I’m am constantly worrying about this (I have ocd and anxiety so yes I do have a problem which is why I’m struggling with perspective). I don’t let her see that I’m worried.
I don’t know if it’s something she’s doing wrong. She’s quite independent in style and interests and doesn’t follow the crowd which I do love but I feel doesn’t help. She’s chatty And sociable at home and enjoys spending time with me and the family and I’m trying to be a bit of a surrogate friend at the moment with shopping trips, baking, movies but I know I’m no replacement.
At her age my mum couldn’t keep me in - I was always out somewhere. Have times changed or are all other teens out and about all the time?
I’ve asked her about other people at school but they are stuck with the same class In the same room all day every day which doesn’t help. Ive asked her about rekindling with some of the old group but she says they don’t have much in common anymore.
I’ve suggested she join some out of school clubs which she says she’ll try.
She’s happy at school and socialises with these friends at school - It’s just out of school she’s lonely and bored.
I know I should be grateful she’s not drinking and smoking but my bubbly girl is ebbing away and I feel like there’s nothing I can do to help!