Desperately sad 12 year old - help

[SpidieMum]

Can anyone advise me PLEASE??
My daughter has always been a dramatic child, loves dancing singing, acting the whole kit and caboodle. Being the only child at home, shes copied brilliantly with the last year, missed her friends but done so well. We didn't put pressure on to study hard, just to do what she could and she did. The challenge has been her on and off friendships, the constant grumpiness, the pushing me away. Now we're getting I hate my body, I want to kill myself, I don't know who I am, am I adopted! I try and stay calm, but it's so awful to hear. I started a new fulltime job in December and it does make me tired and not so on the ball. I'm going to put some boundaries back in, change her diet and restrict the screen time again. And of course be there when she does want me. Any words of wisdom please???

We had similar and she now accesses counselling through school which seems to be helping, definitely worth considering.

There should be a counsellor through school whom she can see. Extremely low mood, although very distressing, is not uncommon when children are going through puberty. Their brains are developing faster than their bodies and mood changes are part of the territory, as well as an increased awareness of appearance and a search for personal identity. If you're already a dramatic person, these changes can be felt all the more strongly. The idea of wanting to harm herself is also not uncommon and sadly more common now that young people have missed out on a key year in their social development. At the age your daughter is, it's usual that they would be gravitating toward new friends and retaining the ones that still feel "right" to them, given there's an awful lot more to choose from in secondary and that her old friends may be developing into people that don't gel with your daughter anymore.

She definitely needs your patience and understanding of her finding this a tricky time to navigate, even if you can't bear to hear her talking so negatively, you must listen and show your support. And source her that pastoral support and counselling that she will need. Contact the school and let them know.

Good luck and lots of love to your daughter.

Thank you so much for your comments and kindness. I'll look into it. Take care.

Just saw this and wanted to let you know that you're not alone. My situation is similar with my 12 year old and we've just been able to access some mental health support through her school. She's only had one session due to Easter so we'll see how it goes. Please speak to your school or doctor.

I've given up with screen time over Easter as I work full-time and am in and out of the office and meetings, which I feel terrible about as staring at screens makes her moods worse!

Thank you so much. I'll investigate that. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Take care & good luck
Sarah

Just remember this too shall pass.