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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

First party with alcohol. Seasoned advice please!

16 replies

UserTwice · 03/04/2021 11:39

DS is off to his first party (well, 6 of them in a garden i.e. epitome of Covid partying these days) where there will be alcohol.

It's a 17th birthday party and DS and his friends are all 16/17. Birthday boy's parents will be there (well, in the house). TBH I expected the parties with booze to start up last year, but clearly Covid stopped play, so DS is consequently a year older than he might be. I know this is a normal rite of passage and am fine with him going, just feeling a bit wobbly about it. DS doesn't really drink at all (DH and I don't really either, hence he has little exposure to it at home) and I'm aware from comments that some of his friends drink quite a bit. We've told him to pace himself, think about how much he is drinking and not to feel he has to succumb to peer pressure. Any sage words of wisdom (for me, sure DS will be fine) from parents who've been there and done that?

OP posts:

WeAllHaveWings · 03/04/2021 12:30

Take a sick bag in the car when you pick him up after?

CricketClub · 03/04/2021 12:32

@WeAllHaveWings

Take a sick bag in the car when you pick him up after?

I was just about to say the same! :D

Mojoj · 03/04/2021 12:33

You're right. It is a rite of passage but it sounds like you've done all you can to prepare him. The fact that you don't really drink is a good example to him. But take a sick bag - just in case...😂😂

yeOldeTrout · 03/04/2021 12:34

Sick bag not a bad idea.
Do you have painkillers at home for next morning?

Are you sending booze with him or is he only drinking stuff he finds there?

Not drinking on an empty stomach is another way to reduce hangover risk.

Presumably just a few hours thing, not overnight, so they won't get half as trashed as they could in normal party times.

CricketClub · 03/04/2021 13:36

Yes to having a full stomach before he goes.

NotBabiesForLong · 03/04/2021 13:40

Pre-warn him against self poured drinks. We invariably get the measure wrong when we do it ourselves at home, compared to in pubs and bars. And it can end up messy.

Better to stick to a can or bottle of some description which is a definite unit of alcohol. And number drank can be counted and paced.

(And definitely a sick bucket ready for the car)

Peachypips78 · 03/04/2021 14:00

Tell him to have a glass of water every second drink if he can be bothered! Although maybe the stonking hangover is a right of passage in itself...

Andi2020 · 03/04/2021 15:11

My dd 17 went to a few parties last summer she always took her own and doesn't really like any just enjoys the crack and the dancing.
She had a GCSE party at our house in a marquee and the amount of drink left over and only one person was actually sick.
There was about 30 and I was in house and had absolutely no bother with any off them it was noisy but I live in country so not near anyone.
If he not comfortable drinking but wants to fit In as long as he has can in his hand no one will pay any attention.
Just trying to put your mind at rest I do worry too when she goes to parties but she is always fine and hasn't been since summer due to covid19
It's the only good thing about covid19 for parents teenagers not at parties

Whythesadface · 03/04/2021 15:15

Tell your son, your not going to go mad if he wants to come home, even if it's really late.
That we all do this and this is his turn.
Remind him that drunk people have sex and that while you are not saying he can't that if he doesn't wants to be on the hook for child support for the next 18 years, to protect himself.
Get his dad to but him some protection.

Chelsea567 · 03/04/2021 17:59

My DH took a sick bucket in the car to pick up DD from her first teenage party, 16 at the time, she'd had one can of cider was stone cold sober and furious that we thought she'd be drunk!

BritBoy · 05/04/2021 16:31

Bring something for him to vomit into when you pick him up, just in case
Try to encourage him to stay away from spirits if he's not used to pouring them, and if he doesn't then not to mix his drinks
Get him to eat something before he goes

UntamedWisteria · 05/04/2021 16:39

Make sure he has large carb-heavy meal before he goes, even if the party hosts say they are providing food.

Assuming he's not staying over, agree on the pick up time and tell him that if he wants to leave early to let you know and you'll come & get him.

Does he have to take his own booze? If so buy the lowest alcohol lager you can get in the supermarket - you should be able to find 3.8%.

Andi2020 · 05/04/2021 19:37

How did your ds get on at his first party

Original poster

UserTwice · 06/04/2021 19:41

Thanks so much for the advice. I don't want to assume that he will go mad, but some good ideas here like taking a sick bag in the car and making sure he eats enough before hand.
Party hasn't happened yet, but will report back!

OP posts:

JustDanceAddict · 06/04/2021 20:42

My DS had his own 17th recently and he was the one who reacted badly to the booze (cider)!!! Obviously due to Covid etc he’s barely drunk this year when there would’ve been more parties etc.

tubbycustardtummyache · 06/04/2021 20:47

Carrier bags for the car seats on the way home.
My kids aren’t teens yet but I’m not sure how much I’d want to know about what they were getting up to at 17 apart from getting home safely. My parents certainly didn’t have a clue!

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