Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

DS19 taking class A drugs, help please!

16 replies

Drugworrymum · 03/04/2021 11:25

I’ve name changed for this. My DS19 is home from uni for the long weekend. He has basically been stuck in a room in a tower block in London at uni with everything online, literally no reason to leave his room and he is doing what should be a lab based degree. High achiever academically and up until 18 a dancer training 15 hours a week on top of college work. He is now doing zero exercise. Joined dance society at uni but of course all online, he literally has no space to turn around in his room let alone dance and all his motivation has gone. History big mental health issues (anxiety) and has previously taken prescription meds for this, he stopped during lockdown but has since restarted (I think) as he is now feeling anxious again about social interactions. I knew he was smoking weed at Christmas when home as could smell it. Basically I looked in a tin which was on the floor of his room last night and along with his weed gear there was a plastic bag of 2CB tablets. His father and I are fairly recently divorced (barely sees his DF as he’s now shacked up with new woman and her teenage daughters) and we recently had to sell family home and downsize, he has articulated he doesn’t feel as if this is home anymore as he’s not used to it. I have taken the tablets, so when he looks he will know I know. Any advice on how to broach this conversation? He’s had a really shit 2 years even without covid on top. I don’t want to turn him in on himself even more, make him retreat back to London but I can’t ignore it.

OP posts:

NRCS · 03/04/2021 11:29

if it's any consolation when I was at uni many moons ago everyone in first year took class A drugs i.e speed and Ecstasy (whcih is what those tablets are?). Obviously I'm sur ethere were some that didn't but many, many did and, of course, grew out of it post uni experimentation phase.

The issue for me would be more around his anxiety/MH issues as I think this mixed with drugs is what can do the damage. Not sure what to suggest, really feel for this generation, what a shit time they've had. Counselling? Urging him to rein it in while he's in an, understandably, low state of mind?

gallileofigaro · 03/04/2021 11:32

I wouldn't have removed the tablets. He's an adult and you are snooping. How would you feel if he did this to you?

I would try to talk to him but by that I mean listen to him. He's obviously struggling. Don't judge him, say you feel helpless and want to support him.

Original poster

Drugworrymum · 03/04/2021 11:44

@gallileofigaro point taken, yes legally he is an adult but financially he is still dependent and he’s brought illegal drugs into our home which I am not ok with. He has plans to go out with friends this evening (I know them and their parents) I am worried he will be supplying them for the evening. Can’t think why he would have brought them home otherwise.

OP posts:

NorahNorah · 03/04/2021 16:47

Supplying seems unlikely, from the little you found. One easily espouses what the right thing to do is - ask him about the weed, face to face, is there anything else etc etc. But I imagine that doesn't always get the conversation going - depends on yr relationship I guess, and that would likely determine how best you see fit to deal with the matter.

Isadora2007 · 03/04/2021 16:52

Just talk to him. That’s all you can do really. Express your concern about his Heath- both physical and mental. Explain that unregulated drugs could contain anything and that you’re not just being a killjoy. Could he move back home for a bit and study online anyway and make it more of a home with you and see local friends etc? Hopefully dancing will be back soon too and he will care about the risk to his body more?

SecretEaterer · 03/04/2021 17:12

@NRCS

I agree with this I'm afraid! When I was at uni pretty much everyone I knew did ecstasy, speed, coke on nights out. Many smoked weed daily and did mushrooms too.

Not that it's a good thing, but I don't think it's that unusual.

SingingSands · 03/04/2021 17:23

Saying "everyone did it when I was at uni" isn't helping the OP though, is it?

OP, you know that the only way is to talk to your son. It's not going to be comfortable, but you're his mum and you're worried about him.

It could be that he hasn't taken these drugs - just because they are there isn't proof, it's just proof he has them in his possession.

I'd be horrified to find drugs in my home from my teenage kids, they know this. But I'm not above understanding why they would use them, and in the case of your son i really feel for him. Some Unis seem better than others at supporting their students, but could he contact student welfare for help/advice? Even anonymously? The thought of your child struggling whilst away from home is hard, you want to support him but not smother him.

Good luck OP.

FVFrog · 05/04/2021 22:36

Just checked back, thank you all for the messages and suggestions. We did have a good talk and I am reassured for now, I will however be keeping closer tabs on him. It’s so bloody difficult parenting young adults. They are adults, but still kids in so many ways

FVFrog · 05/04/2021 22:37

Just realised I have name changed back ah well. He actually told his mates that we’d had a talk and his mate went back and told his Mum who is a friend of mine so now we’ve had a talk! It’s good to talk.

Akal212 · 13/04/2021 00:43

2cb isn’t The same as mdma

It’s more like lsd (speaking from personal use) it’s one of the safest drugs you can take it and as well as all psychedelic are only class a due to politics it probably won’t be real 2-cb though it’s extremely rare if he’s doing drugs and he’s of that age you’d be better off buying him a testing kit so you know he don’t kill himself thinking his taking something relatively safe and it being some other nasty s

MonkeyNotOrgangrinder · 13/04/2021 01:46

Tell him whatever he does, to avoid 2CE. 2CB is fairly innocuous, but 2CE is a completely different ball game.

Akal212 · 13/04/2021 23:42

@MonkeyNotOrgangrinder

Tell him whatever he does, to avoid 2CE. 2CB is fairly innocuous, but 2CE is a completely different ball game.

Or nbombs seen some pepole try sell that ands 2cb nbombs are extremely deadly I find it kind of ironic probation increases everything it’s trying to prevent when I was 16 it was easier to get cocaine then it was to get a bottle of jd

Lisatried · 14/04/2021 03:00

You’ve put quite a lot of detail about your DS there, especially combined with other posts. Obviously you might have changed the specifics but if not are there that many guys on lab based courses in London who are serious dancers? The drugs are illegal activity after all...

Hm2020 · 14/04/2021 03:12

Can I just ask what the difference between 2cb and 2ce I’m googling but can’t seem to find out?

Akal212 · 15/04/2021 00:16

@Hm2020

Can I just ask what the difference between 2cb and 2ce I’m googling but can’t seem to find out?

You can overdose on 2ce we’re 2-cb has no known lethal dose it doesn’t cause serotonin syndrome like with md as well

2ci is the worse one but that’s sold on bloaters and normally sold as lsd

Hm2020 · 15/04/2021 00:53

Thankyou.

Flip