Lonely DS13

[roverroo21]

My ds started secondary school in September , he was really enjoying it and made loads of new friends but then lockdown happened again in December and he’s been really struggling. His friends are a mixture of boys and girls, the girls fell out with him last month but they made up, he tells me things are different, one particular girl has turned a few of the friends against him, I’m sure he’s not all innocent in this as I only get his side of the story. They all go out together at weekends but don’t invite my ds and when he asks they tell him no. He is always the one contacting them. I’ve told him to try and make new friends but he says the girls will make up lies and turn them against him so there is no point. It’s breaking my heart to see him so low. He gets upset all the time and just looks really sad, he feels so lonely and spends most of the time in his bedroom, I don’t know what to do to help him.

I feel for you both. I have similar issue with DS13, no friends to meet up with and very lonely. Just be his pal and take an interest in what he’s into. I am afraid I can’t offer much suggestions.

Do things as a family at weekends and during holidays - make that the norm until he finds his crowd.
They’re kept busy at school and he will find people who he clicks with over the years. It’s normal to move through different friendship groups during the secondary years.

Girls can be pretty awful at this age - it's called 'relational aggression'. I would definitely speak to his form teacher and head of year. They will look out for him and try to help him find other friends. If these girls are in his form, can you get him moved? Very important to do something and not just leave it.