Possible eating disorder

[EnjoyingTheSilence]

Don’t know where to go for help.

Dd 14 has always been a picky eater and doesn’t have a huge appetite it yesterday she opened up to me that she doesn’t like eating.

She said she had some panic attacks at school all about eating. She does get a fair bit of attention at school because her of her figure (she’s very slim), people telling her she’ll get fat if she eats certain foods bf that she looks weird, too thin etc.

We had a chat about body shapes and how your body needs a certain amount of fuel in order to work properly.

She’s started to eat when no ones around, I don’t know if it’s to hide what she’s eating or what she’s not eating.

I don’t know where to go, how to stop it turning into anything more serious

Any advice please

I haven't got any advice but I've seen Feast recommended on here before.

Hopefully this will bump for you and you'll get someone coming along who knows what they are talking about

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. Are you okay?

There are plenty of support services out there, so maybe see if your dd would be happy to speak to her gp about it and get a referral.

Eating disorders are prevalent and being stigmatised or bullied by peers at school will knock her confidence. Secret eating is quite common, but I understand you are right to be concerned.

Keep talking to her, allow her to open up to you without judgement. It would be helpful to understand why she doesn’t like eating.

IME EDs generally stem from control or lack thereof. She may be anxious or depressed, leading her to fixate on food as a way to deal with this. Hopefully some others will come along to share there experiences and give you greater insight.

You sound like a great mum, so keep doing what your doing, but don’t pressurise her to eat or do anything she’s uncomfortable with. Going back to the control aspect, looking at her lifestyle, friends, hobbies, SM, could there be an underlying reason she’s feeling like this?

It might help if she becomes more involved with mealtimes. Does she cook dinner with you? Does she have any input into what food you eat at home? My dd is picky, but she’s younger, so not an ED. I do encourage them to make their own decisions about food and be involved. It’s helped us, but it’s not the same. Might be worth a try before it gets too serious.

Thank you. I’ll have a read.

Honestly I don’t think I am ok. I can’t make it all better and am so worried.

I’ve been looking at stuff and can see the description for avoidant/ restrictive food intake disorder is completely hero just want to try and nip it I the bud but I know it’s not as simple as that

It must be really distressing. I know how helpless I would feel, and having seen friends go through it, I am hyper aware of the dangers, but there really is great help and support out there.

It’s great to hear you’re talking about body positivity too. Make sure you are a role model in this regard, so if you have any body issues, consider how you can build your own confidence too. This will help you both to feel more secure.

If you’re struggling, there will be support for you too. It can be just as hard to go through this with her, so your own self-care is just as important. Make sure you are eating well, getting rest etc. Doing something creative together, like painting, dancing, listen to music will help you both. Turn off your phones. Have some family time. Go for walks. Read a book.

Mental health is really important, so you both need support right now. Sending hugs

Thanks for the replies. We’re going to make sure we sit down and have at least one meal a day together, breakfast and lunch today we’re a bit stressful but dinner was a success and hopefully we can just keep on talking.

She came and wanted a hug earlier as she thought I looked stressed bless her!

Apologies for all the typos, usually I do check what I’ve written - honest!

Hi @EnjoyingTheSilence - am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. It is very hard on everyone. If you've not already found us please do come and join us on the teen eating disorder thread - we're a bunch of parents trying to support our DC through eating disorders. We're not professional experts but have lived experience - sometimes talking with someone who "gets it" is really important...

Here is our current thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4168981-Teen-Eating-Issues-Disorders-Support-Thread-2

Thank you @myrtleWilson