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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

HPV vaccine, don't know what to do!

203 replies

Busymummy50 · 23/03/2021 23:47

Before a few days ago, only knew hpv vaccine was for girls. 13 year old brought home a consent letter last Friday. Vaccination takes place 29th at school.

Initially I thought it was a good idea. I had a smear which came back with hpv found and then had a biopsy years ago. Luckily I was ok and my immune system fought it off. So I knew all about it.

Then I looked into possible side effects and asked other parents (as boys have only been offer this since 2018, so not long). Friends sons have already had it and my son's friends at school are going to have it. But the more I've researched, the more serious side effects I'm finding. I know these have not been proven but I cannot help to worry.

I have consented but having second thoughts. My partner on the other hand is happy for the vaccine to go ahead despite my findings but is also happy is our son doesn't have the vaccine as most of the time our bodies would fight it off.

I just don't know what to do! Has anyone's child had it and had side effects or chosen not to have it and why? Does anyone have more information on these serious side effects?

OP posts:
Original poster
Busymummy50 · 25/03/2021 21:44

@Umbivalent

Why not also look up the side effects of genital warts and throat cancer!
I Have.
OP posts:
Runway · 25/03/2021 21:46

How do you know that it's all random rubbish? Because it's not written by an expert? Wjat happens when there is an expert contradicting another expert? That happens sometimes! Who do you listen to then?

How to say this kindly.....yes I do believe health experts over religious fundamentalists.

Yes it is random rubbish if written by someone who is not in the field and has no knowledge.

There are no true experts contradicting the science on HPV vaccine as far as I’m aware so totally moot point.

There is literally nothing for you to be ‘finding out’. You don’t need to do this. And you don’t understand it clearly.

You don’t seem to have any basic grasp of how this all works so I’d say, yes trust the experts. Because you are not one. And nor are the people writing these bizarre websites.

Milkshake7489 · 25/03/2021 21:51

@Busymummy50

It's not that it's all random rubbish, it's that you don't have the skills or knowledge to sort out the good information from the bad.

Of course you can learn about things you don't understand, but you're not going to learn enough to understand all the research and make a logical decision before your son's vaccination date. You'd need a few years of university for that.

When experts contradict each other it's sensible to go with the majority scientific opinion until this changes. And even if the majority scientific opinion turns out to be wrong, you will still have made the right decision because the odds of experts being correct are always going to be higher than a none expert (in this case you) being correct.

(If that makes sense, I in the sleepless nights stage of having a newborn at the minute).

Milkshake7489 · 25/03/2021 21:57

And none of this is personal. I don't have anywhere near the right skill set to research vaccinations either. Just like I couldn't fly a plane or perform surgery... it's not a comment on your intelligence.

Runway · 25/03/2021 21:57

And to be clear, answering with facts and rebuking myths and inaccuracies is not bullying. Nothing personal has been said about you at all

Runway · 25/03/2021 21:58

When experts contradict each other it's sensible to go with the majority scientific opinion until this changes. And even if the majority scientific opinion turns out to be wrong, you will still have made the right decision because the odds of experts being correct are always going to be higher than a none expert (in this case you) being correct

Lovely point!

TJ17 · 25/03/2021 22:02

I give up 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

endlesscraziness · 25/03/2021 22:07

Oh god. Don't fall down the anti-vaccine propaganda rabbit hole on the internet. If you're uneasy, only look for peer reviewed papers. Correlation doesn't = causation

HPV vaccine, don't know what to do!
HPV vaccine, don't know what to do!
Umbivalent · 25/03/2021 22:08

Well I'm glad you have agreed to your DS having the jab. He'll be fine.

alexdgr8 · 25/03/2021 22:20

dear Op, here is a link to a website that i believe to be kosher.
i am not an expert either, but they send me articles and they are checked by other scientific people and they have actually kept me ahead of the curve re the present pandemic.
eg they were reporting a possible link between severe covid and blood clots leading to strokes, heart attacks etc way back last summer.
this was before it was widely known or reported.
i had just read it when i heard a usually well-informed and certainly well-intentioned radio presenter tell a caller there was no such link, that he had never heard of such a thing and we shouldn't be panicking people.

www.verywellhealth.com/hpv-vaccine-for-boys-514147

alexdgr8 · 25/03/2021 22:22

i am old enough to remember respectable radio programmes discussing how cold, emotionally unavailable mothers caused autism esp in boys.

Seoirnbru · 25/03/2021 22:24

I would absolutely have paid for it for mine (as did most of my friends) but mine is lucky enough to be in the first year to get it on the NHS too. I've been a GP for 20 odd years and have never seen any reaction to HPV vaccine. I have seen increasing amounts of horrible head and neck cancers in relatively young (eg 40s) non-smoking patients which are HPV related. It's by far the best if they get the vaccine before they are sexually active at all, so it's really not the same if they chose to get it as an adult.

Screwcorona · 25/03/2021 22:26

The crappy side affect of HPV is cancer .
I'll consent to my son having the vaccine 100%

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 25/03/2021 22:44

[quote alexdgr8]dear Op, here is a link to a website that i believe to be kosher.
i am not an expert either, but they send me articles and they are checked by other scientific people and they have actually kept me ahead of the curve re the present pandemic.
eg they were reporting a possible link between severe covid and blood clots leading to strokes, heart attacks etc way back last summer.
this was before it was widely known or reported.
i had just read it when i heard a usually well-informed and certainly well-intentioned radio presenter tell a caller there was no such link, that he had never heard of such a thing and we shouldn't be panicking people.

www.verywellhealth.com/hpv-vaccine-for-boys-514147[/quote]
Thank you for this.

OP posts:
CorianderBee · 25/03/2021 23:25

Why would you be fine with a girl having it and not a boy? It's important boys have it too to stop it from being so common and giving people cancer.

I had it 11 years ago - my arm hurt for a day and then boys kept trying to punch it. Done. My best friend didn't have it. She was told she had cervical cancer after her first ever smear aged 25.

CorianderBee · 25/03/2021 23:30

@Busymummy50

I have not made any fuss in front of my son. I had my first blood test at age 7,fainted straight after. At 9, I had another one, fainted again. My parents gave me every vaccination offered as a child without any fuss. I now have to pay down to have blood tests or I would faint. Even during a smear test, I feel a bit nauseous. I have never shown my children any of my weaknesses. My son has had a blood test when younger and vaccinations and have always been so brave, he'll sit there and watch it and be fine. As he's got older, at the last blood test, he said he felt a bit dizzy afterwards. Now he hates them! Nothing I did, made him trhis way.
Seek CBT for this. I'm the same - I passed out four times in a row once at blood tests. It's to do with how your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system reacts.

Applied tension has helped me and I can get through a blood test now.

ShaneTheThird · 25/03/2021 23:37

I was in the first year of girls to get it. No side effects feom any of the girls in my school or college in a different part of the country either. However my older sister never got in and ended up with severe dyskariosis and has to have most of her cervix blasted with a laser.

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 25/03/2021 23:56

I am able to have blood tests now without fainting by laying down and having them. Thanks for the information though, may need it one day to help my son!

OP posts:
Iyiyi · 26/03/2021 07:07

I remember a friend asking me when she’d had a baby and I had two older toddlers, if I’d researched vaccines before consenting to them for my children. And I said no because I am in no way qualified to do that research. I have to put my faith in professionals, the same way I do when I get on a plane. You can research flying and find information about crashes, and anecdotal accounts of bad experiences but statistically the risk is very small. So you might choose not to fly in any case but your choice isn’t based on data and evidence of risk - because you probably still drive a car, a statistically higher risk activity - it’s based on how you feel about it.

PinkPlantCase · 26/03/2021 07:44

OP please remember as a few other posters have pointed out that a reason why a lot of anti vaxers really jump on the HPV vaccine is because of its link to sexuality. It’s almost unique in this aspect compared to other vaccines. Some people can’t stand the idea of their little darlings ever being sexually active. Some of the info they put out there really is alarming! But it absolutely doesn’t make it true.

I know the sexuality aspect isn’t where you’re coming from but it really is the reason for a lot of the misinformation on the internet. That and the age children have it is around the age anyway when some chronic illnesses come about.

I had the vaccine in year 9. In year 8 a year before I had been very ill with something like glandular fever/chronic fatigue (luckily it wasn’t CFS as I eventually got better) if I’d of had the vaccine in year 8 some people could have said the vaccine caused it, but it didn’t it was just one of those weird things health things that happens.

Just to add having the vaccine before becoming sexually active is so important. That’s why pushing it back to when DS is 24 won’t help him. It won’t do it’s job if he already has HPV!

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 26/03/2021 13:27

@Runway

As with the MMR, we did lots of thinking and reading before consenting

You don’t sound like you have much of a grasp of science or medical research so I’d suggest you back away from the anti-vaxxers.

There’s no risk of your son developing the kinds of things you’re reading about on these sites as they didn’t happen because of the vaccine.

To be honest, I’m frankly horrified you’ve given a 13 year old boy the shit you’re reading online and using that as a reason for him not to be vaccinated. This is bad bad parenting and you should be ashamed

Just to clarify, I have NOT given my 13 year old son the 'shit' I have read online nor am I using that as a reason not to vaccinate him! I stated very clearly that I have consented but just feeling worried and scared with what I read. I gave him information about the HPV virus and what it could cause. All the possible side effects listed on the NHS website were spoken about. I should not be ashamed of myself and I am not ashamed of myself. You assumed you knew what my son and I had spoken about and then go ahead to call this bad parenting! Wow.
OP posts:
Runway · 26/03/2021 13:51

Yeah I guess I ‘assumed’ it because you said it.

Yes I have spoken to him an driven him all the info he needs, everything

Original poster
Busymummy50 · 26/03/2021 13:56

@Runway

Yeah I guess I ‘assumed’ it because you said it.

Yes I have spoken to him an driven him all the info he needs, everything

All the information he needs, everything. Does not mean all the bad things too. I had given him all the information for a 13 year old to process. Good and some bad. Everything that 'he' needs to know without freaking him out.
OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 26/03/2021 14:04

I also can’t believe that you gave him “good and some bad” information that you found on Google without either of you having any idea how to tell what is valid scientific data and what’s quackery.

I would call that poor parenting too.

MimosaFields · 26/03/2021 14:11

My son had it done privately when he was almost 17. I was very happy for him to do so