I'm not answering your passive aggressive dm

[calamityjam]

Short story, year 8 kids pissing about and girl throws blazer on floor. Boy picks up blazer and walks off. Ds says; why are you carrying her blazer around school and throws it back on floor. Subsequently phone is now smashed. Girls mother is messaging me demanding I buy her a new phone. Haven't replied yet. Very reluctant as my ds had no way of knowing phone was in blazer or it could have broken when girl initially chucked blazer. Advice please

Bottom line op is he broke it, so you should replace it.
Just because someone else threw it on the floor doesn't mean it's acceptable for him to follow suit.

Hard to advise as your post doesn’t make much sense.

I would not pay. Mistakes happen.

I wouldn't even engage with the parent. Did it happen in school? Tell her to ask school to deal with it. He might get a detention, so be it.

If your DS didn't want to be responsible for any damage he shouldn't have got involved. If he took the blazer off the boy to give back to the girl fair enough but he took it off the boy to throw it on the floor, he didn't have to do that but he did. I would respond that you will pay halfs as 2 people threw the blazer so no evidence which time it was broken (possibly it was both) Then your DS can pay you back and learn his lesson not to get involved in shit.

He involved himself with the intention of causing a bit of aggro, threw somebody's stuff around, the phone ended up broken. It's not unlikely that he caused the damage. How much would it cost to buy a replacement?

I don't.really get the passive aggression reference.

Unfortunately, your son has put himself in the wrong with actual aggression. Perhaps he didn't break the phone but he put himself in the frame for blame.

Few questions.
How does she know the phone wasn't broken when the grim threw the blazer down the first time.
Also how did this other mom get your number surely this should be handled by the school and not parent to parent?

The phone was in the blazer when the girl threw it first? So could have broken then when she threw her own jacket. I don’t really think you can throw your own jacket, then when someone else throws it, claim they broke something and get annoyed.

That aside I don’t think your son should have thrown the jacket.

Bottom line op is he broke it, so you should replace it.

Maybe it got broken when the girl who owns it threw her blazer on the ground first ?

If my ds had purposely broke the phone I would replace it. However there isn't any proof he did it. He was involved because she threw juice over him. This is how it started

Yes I didn't get that in the original post as I was struggling to make sense of the whole thing -
It's difficult because two people threw it. So I agree with pp you should go halves.

So the girl (owner of said blazer and phone?) threw it on the floor first? Am I reading this right?
I'd respond politely but firmly with a no- I can't believe anybody would expect payment from another parent in this kind of instance. Sounds like it's a good opportunity for the mother to highlight responsibilities with owning devices.
Or maybe suggest a chunky uncool Nokia replacement as they bounce better? '-)

So she threw juice at him and he smashed her phone?

So she threw juice at him and he smashed her phone?

No.
She threw her blazer on the ground- with phone in pocket. So that might have been when phone broke

Not a chance would I pay for this - how does anyone know that the girl didn't break the phone.

The blazer was thrown in the floor twice, once by your son and the phone is smashed? You can't know if it was your sons actions that smashed the phone. I'd not pay for it, but I would be giving ds consequences of causing grief

Without knowing which of them actually broke the phone I wouldn't offer a penny. The girl threw her blazer knowing her phone was in it, so realistically she was responsible.

There needs to be a play by play dds of the blazer throwing.

*description

Two people threw the blazer down , no way of knowing who broke the phone. I think DS didn't need to throw it on the floor but could have just handed it over, the girl shouldn't have thrown it down either.
Maybe offer to go halves but I wouldnt pay for that whole thing.

Well, there is no proof that your ds was responsible for the phone smashing, so I don't think you are under any obligation to pay.

They all sound infantile, though. Throwing juice and chucking people's possessions around in Year 8? They all need to grow up a bit.

Does the mum know her daughter threw her blazer on the floor?

I'm intrigued how she got your number? Did she hunt you down on Facebook?

Why would the girl throw her own blazer on the floor? Did that part really happen?

I think you need to firmly establish who is telling the truth, if the girl did really Chuck her blazer on the ground ( although this all sounds weird?! Why would she do that?) then yes, who knows who broke it but if it was just your son then I would be offer to pay, or rather I would get my son to pay because that behaviour is not acceptable.

There's no way of knowing whether the phone broke when she threw the blazer on the floor or he did, so in that case I would offer to go half on replacing the screen (assuming that's what broke?) and it would be coming out of DS pocket money.