Very lonely 13 year old dd

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My 13 year old daughter has no friends. Her best friends from primary in our local area have basically ditched her, wont even answer her calls. She has a couple of friends at school but has no contact with them outside school. My dd is very quiet and does not like getting involved in social media. She is really struggling with not having anyone to meet up with and ends up spending all her time in her room watching netflix. I really dont know what to do help her and its taking its toal on me too as i'm constantly worrying about her.

I wish I knew the answer! My son is 14 and in the same boat. He spends his time alone.

Can you get them into clubs in or our of school - they are all opening up and this could expand their friendship group. Could be sport, gaming, cooking etc

Sports? Drama club? A musical instrument? Choir? Any activities that involve meeting others who share the interest would help. Obviously it’s harder now but even over zoom, she’d have someone to talk to once or twice a week. When these activities resume she can meet them in person.

My daughter had a similar situation this time last year, thankfully her out of school activities carried on my zoom so she had those to look forward too. Concert band, youth group, guides and dancing, this kept her mind occupying in the evening. I also ordered her books, art sets etc I also made the school aware despite being on lockdown so when they did zoom calls she wasn't in a group with any of her old friends. She has since moved schools and has found her tribe.

I feel for her. I agree about getting her involved in some out of school clubs in things she enjoys - drama, art, music, sports, Guides or Scouts etc. She could also join an online special interest group. DS first met a good friend irl via an online forum for teens. Obviously you have to vet the forum and come along to the first few meet ups to ensure they are genuine, if it gets that far.

I agree she needs an outside interest so everything doesn't hinge on the school friendships. It could be typical sport/drama/scouts whatever or maybe something not age specific for example a beach cleaning group if she's interested in the environment or an online cookery group.

What is she interested in?

Is it just because off covid19
Is her school back soon

Is she y8 or y9?

It sounds like an organised activity might help. What does she feel about it and what does she want to do about it?

She is year 9. We are in n.ireland so she is not yet back at school which isnt helping. I cant see much changing unfortunately when lockdown is over. Hoping she will get back to a couple of clubs after easter. Not sure if there is much in the way of clubs here for age group which she could join. She loves to bake and draw. Dreading the summer as its going to be so long for her as even during normal times clubs all stop for the summer.

What is stopping her contacting the two friends she gets on with when it's not lockdown?

Jamie Oliver is doing online cookery classes that are pay as you go.
Drawing classes look good but not cheap www.arts.ac.uk/study-at-ual/short-courses/courses-for-teenagers?gclid=Cj0KCQjwutaCBhDfARIsAJHWnHtRSYhMVWjtzV3X1A7ymIyz1bVLbI0gxE8P1oo2Bx8Zt175DKvofYUaAiIgEALw_wcB

Have you thought about a summer camp For the long holiday? They are growing in popularity in the U.K. and they are available for single days up to multiple weeks. Lots of chance to socialise and have fun.

My two have enjoyed : www.treasuretrails.co.uk/trails-search/Belfast,Northern%20Ireland
Maybe you could do one together, or she could invite one friend/cousin/ family friends child etc?

When I was at secondary school I rarely saw my friends out of school.

Really tough at that age and pandemic makes it doubly hard.
I never had many friends at school and found my tribe at a club when I was 15. It took a lot of ‘work’ to find it, but it totally paid off.
In terms of DCs, friendship stuff got better for them by 15/16 too - 13/14 was the worst age esp for DD. She only really had a couple of proper friends at school in year 8 and holidays were lonely.

I have a 13 year old daughter that finds it hard to make friends. She just wants to be accepted like other teenagers. She hasn't really had many friends and the very few she has don't answer or make excuses. She is very quiet loves her music and would like to find like minded friends. To meet with. Does anyone have any advice to how I can help her do this?