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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Mothers Day

11 replies

Newwoman2017 · 15/03/2021 11:22

Feeling really sad today, my kids are 13 (girl) 15 Boy. My son came into our room totally didn't mention mothers day until about an hour later. A bit later i find a note on my bed from DD saying happy mothers day. My DD is really good at art and said she was drawing me something. Husband says he's going out to screwfix so i walk to my mums to give her her mothers day gifts. (Thinking he'd actually gone to get me a last minute gift) get back and he's doing a job outside with the new tool he bought. He did cook me and the kids a very nice dinners but i have to say i was upset. When i asked why i got nothing he seemed suprised and spoke to the kids, he seems to think they are old enough to sort it out themselves so he never checked.. both kids spent all day in their rooms and i never got a card.

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 15/03/2021 11:27

Well, he's right that they're old enough to sort it out themselves, isn't he? I think this one is totally on your kids tbh. I'm sorry you didn't get a card, although it seems that your dd did at least write you a note. Did she draw the picture as promised?

Ilovemaisie · 15/03/2021 11:29

Did they realise it was Mother's Day? It's early this year. The world is still in a weird place. Most shops are closed so the usual card shops aren't full of stuff.
The supermarkets have been selling stuff but unless your teens have been going there they won't have seen it. If they realised last minute it's not like normal times where they could dash down there shops.

Workinghardeveryday · 15/03/2021 11:54

I totally understand why you are upset. And I do think it’s up to your husband to help arrange something, he should have checked what they were doing for you and what present you were getting. It’s an awful feeling when you don’t feel appreciated. I am in the same boat but I did get a card, no dinner though, I cooked for everyone all day, not even an offer of a cuppa tea. This morning woke up feeling even more miserable than yesterday so decided to send him a txt to let him know how I felt, that it’s one day to show your appreciation and to make us feel special which certainly didn’t happen in here, was like any other day. My kids are 10 and 15 didn’t say happy Mother’s Day until lunchtime. Tell him how you feel in a nice way, if not you risk feeling this way next year, that’s why I have let him know, it’s the same every year. Hopefully he can explain to the kids what is expected. Xx

NumberThirtySix · 15/03/2021 11:54

Kids don't need to buy something. They could make a card, bring you a coffee in bed, say a few words about how much you mean to them. Nothing from my DSs 18 and 13. As I'm a widow, there's no DH to remind/ coordinate them but I reminded them myself 2 weeks ago. They are just thoughtless, self centered and couldnt be bothered.

Original poster
Newwoman2017 · 15/03/2021 11:54

My daughter mentioned mothers day ages ago and that she had a seen something online she thought i would like.. i said to her to talk to Dad because of lockdown it would be easier. They both knew it was mothers day as i had mentioned it a couple of times and talked about my mums present..hey ho just made me feel really unappreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newwoman2017 · 15/03/2021 11:59

I totally agree my daughter painted me a picture for my biryhdsy last year and i loved it so much. Its the gesture, a hug some time spent with that made me sadddest. I guess its the teenage year, not very easy.

OP posts:
Hazelnutlatteplease · 15/03/2021 11:59

Designate next sunday as the new replacement mothers day

AlexaShutUp · 15/03/2021 12:09

If it's really bothering you, OP, and you can't just let it go, I agree with the idea of designating next Sunday as mother's day instead. We're doing that anyway this year as dd is in the middle of mock exams right now.

Have a calm conversation with them both about why you were hurt by their lack of effort. Make it clear that you aren't expecting expensive gifts, just a bit of acknowledgement of how much you do for them. Don't guilt trip them or lay it on too thick, just explain why it's important to you.

Personally, I would focus on communicating with the kids about this, because at their age, they really don't need your DH to be involved. You're their mother, not his, and they are the ones who need to show some appreciation. It devalues it, frankly, if he has to do it for them.

Iootraw1 · 23/03/2021 20:45

Same for me OP. But can’t be cross with my husband he told them and reminded them and they have their own money now so up to them. Don’t take it personally they probably feel bad that they didn’t do much for you and the guilt will probably mean next year they will put a bit more effort in. But they are currently goi go through their most self cantered years. Let them get on with it, majority of us went through it as teens. I’ve on there’s always next year (or the one after that !....)

fuschia2000 · 24/03/2021 17:05

So sorry but I think alot if the responsibility falls onto your DH especially in time of covid, to take them yo the store, do they can choose card, flowers, chocolates, from DHL too to say thankyou for being mum to his children, and for him to organise them to bring breakfast in bed and to spoil ypu throughout the day

Definitely make them spoil you next Sunday- you're so worth it! Or go on strike! Try need yo appreciate and spoil you XX

fuschia2000 · 24/03/2021 17:06

Sorry for typos!!

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