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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD 15 verbally and emotionally abusive toward me

28 replies

Doihavetogotoworkdotcom1 · 13/03/2021 13:07

We are receiving help from the MAT team, we are having systemic family therapy.
Her behaviour has only changed since last August when she met her first boyfriend. She now regularly abuses me if she can’t have her own way about something. She will call me a f.... horrible c..t amongst other such words. She will be 16 in April. She will also threaten to kill herself if I don’t give in to her demands. Last weekend I had to take a knife off her. I feel that if my husband or work colleague was abusing me in this way then it would be taken seriously and dealt with. I’m now emotionally drained and I’m getting to the point (please don’t flame me) that I’m wanting her not to live with me anymore. I don’t know where she could go. I think temporary foster care won’t be an option for us. Has anyone reading been in a similar position and if so what did you do?

OP posts:
Yebanksandbraes · 13/03/2021 16:00

This sounds tough. Remember that first love produces chemicals in our brains that are addictive like drugs. She may be reacting like this to you turning off the WiFi because she was messaging him and being cut off from that source of chemical/hormone can feel like drug withdrawal.
I am not condoning her behaviour btw, but trying to understand her life from the inside may be the best chance you have of breaking this cycle.
Try to understand, really understand, her life and feelings. Offer to listen to her side, promise not to interrupt or say anything, just listen and occasionally ask non-judgmental questions.
You do need boundaries and to protect her but try to do it from a position of understanding.

Si1883 · 14/03/2021 21:48

This is nearly word for word how our 15 yo Daughter behaves. Totally kills the house atmosphere and is slowly ruining lots of other things with my wife.

Andi2020 · 14/03/2021 23:21

Alot off teenagers message late at night over and back to girlfriend or boyfriend.
I let my 17yo stay on to 11pm on facetime but let her keep phone in room to snap to they fall asleep.
The covid19 is really hard for everyone
I let her out to see him at his house or he comes to her.
I also have a 16 to who snaps friends but comes off at 10.
If she is doing her school work try and work out a time together to come off.

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