Smelly daughter

[lateylate]

Much as a I love her, dd2's personal hygiene is leaving a lot to be desired.
She's not quite a teenager - 11-and-a-half and a bit of a tomboy.
She's very sporty, and although I know they've all had a personal hygiene talk in school and I keep trying to get her to shower - preferably every day - she'll do all she can not to.
With the result that she sometimes pongs - added to which she'll wear the same clothes for days on end, doesn't wipe her bum properly (I know from the underwear I pick up which needs to be chucked out).
She's outwardly interested in her appearance in the sense she's particular about what she wears - but not to the extent of how she smells!
I took her to one side yesterday and said I was concerned she wasn't looking after herself properly and might make herself ill.
I'm not confident this will change her behaviour though.
Has anyone else encountered this sort of problem and how did you overcome it?

I have the same problem with my dd of similar age. I have tried the nice approach and the blunt approach which always results in the storming off and ur horrible etc. She does eventually wash but after a forceful get a bath now as i get fed up with it.Her bedroom was never tidy so ive taken the tv out now til she can prove she can keep it tidy for more than a week.Im hoping she grow out of it.

My dd is 12 and a half and has only just woken up to the idea of personal hygeine. She's not great at brushing her teeth though..

She now showers every evening without fail - her best friend is regularly smelly, sadly, so in an effort to raise awareness i gave her a couple of light lectures about the importance of keeping fresh. It's been hard going though - luckily she herself has never smelled of BO but she's not particularly sweaty which is lucky for her.

Before that, I used to run her a bath after her evening meal and just tell her to get in it - simple as that. Then remove her clothing and replace it with fresh. It was a pain but something seems to have sunk in eventually. (It's usually school who has the most influence lol)

Good luck and don't worry. Imo it's a lot better and healthier than being one of those 11 year olds who feels she has to get up and straighten their hair every morning.

My 15yo DD was the same at about the same age. Now a few years later, I can't get her out of the bathroom. So don't worry, it won't last.

I sympathise with all of you. My 11yo got really smelly, very quickly.

Now I just insist that he showers every morning, uses deodorant and wears a clean shirt. He tried getting up late to avoid the shower but I just made him go late to school which really upset him. School obv more scary than Mum. He doesn't quibble at all now, it's just a habit.

The teeth thing was a battle we had last year. He just seemed to consistantly miss one side of his mouth and would strop if I told him to do them properly. In the end, I took a digi-picture of his teeth with gorgeous plaque and food dregs attached and made it his screen saver. He brushes really well now.

What is it with all these 12 year old girls! My dd is EXACTLY the same. She straightens her (unwashed) hair every morning(don't ask).

She will even put mascara on her (unwashed) face at the weekend.

I cannot get her to take responsibility for her personal hygiene. She hardly ever cleans her teeth, her breath and feet stink!We havent encountered BO yet, but watch this space...

Maida...your DH sounds very very similar to mine..

Still having major battles although we have got to the stage of showering every other day-still have the whinging and strops over it..ffs!

Still not washing her manky clothes unless she brings it down and puts it in the washing machine and the new toothbrush remains unused in the bathroon..sighs

DH?......DD I MEANT....I am going slowly mad

I don't have any teenagers yet but I do remember my niece (and later my nephew) going through this stage.

My niece wouldn't wash (and did smell a bit as well as she had an early puberty) from the age of about 11-12. She did change though and by the age of 13, peer pressure had kicked in. Now at 16 she washes every day and has the normal teenage preoccupation with looking (and smelling) good.

We did a lot of telling her to wash and explaining she would smell etc but tbh it was the peer pressure (all the girls at school started to take an interest in their appearance etc. so she did too) and growing up a bit that made the difference.

I agree with the others. (Though not about washing own clothes!) Have an honest chat with her and take her out to pick some nice smellies, bath stuff shower gel, fancy soap, deodorant, anything to get her to want to bath/shower!

If she still refuses to wash then I would be removing some privileges until she starts.

Good luck!

Quick hijack - at what age/stage would you see a dd should start using deodorant? My dd (10.5) says "most" girls in her class use one

She doesn't smell (yet!) and hasn't started puberty so I am inclined to think she doesn't need to be putting chemicals one her body yet - or is it a bit like bras where they want to wear one before they need to?

I was thinking of getting her some sort of body spray as a compromise - any recommendations?

I wouldn't give your daughter deodorant yet if she doesnt need it,I agree with you about chemicals.
It's tough because of the peer pressure from girls to be similar,we couldn't of cared two hoots about deodorant at that age.

Maybe a simple roll-on with no harsh chemicals if she insists on it.

Also - try a crystal deodorant like Pitrock - a it doesn't smell so no clashing smells with perfume/ body spray. b it doesn't actually stop sweat ( which is necessary ), but does stop it smelling andc ther are some reports about links with breast cancer and normal deodorant. We all use it and you can use it on feet too works wonders on smelly feet!

As other posters have said, you have to be blunt. My 10 year old stepson is crap at washing himself and my partner always inspects him after showers (underarms, head, bottom - eeeugh - fee, teeth etc) and sends him back into the shower if he thinks there is any sign of whiff/dirt.

I have also bought all kinds of different shower gels and shampoos for my stepsons to get them more interested in washing... to their father's chagrin they really like the tacker smelling gels. If it gets them to wash, all well and good.

You should wash your child's clothing every day - make sure she puts it in a laundry basket at the end of the day. She'll get in the habit of having clean smelling clothes.

hi
when i was that age, my mum had to constantly tell me that i smelled.

she would buy deodrants, tell me to shower more etc.

the clincher was when she came to find me when i was out with some mates one day, and tell me i needed to wash. in front of the mates.
ok, a bit extreme (i've posted before about my mum,lol)
but she was probably desperate, and it did work

in my case, the reason i didn't listen was that i was the earliest developer in my class which really embarassed me at that time, so my reaction to this was 'denial'

if i pretend i'm not in puberty, it won't be true, lol

as others have said, one or two years down the line, you couldn't get me out of that bathroom, showering twice a day etc etc, lol

hth

Thank god for this thread - I've been worrying about ds1 (9) he hates washing and won't wash his hair. Dh takes him swimming regularly just to get him under the showers and we manage to get him into the bath most school nights under duress. Today I noticed a whiff of BO from him - he didn't have a bath last night. He says he doesn't care if he smells. Some good advice on here thank goodness - it's not the type of thing I discuss with mums on the playground!