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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Puberty weight gain

16 replies

004aga · 06/03/2021 19:06

My dd is 12, and has recently put on quite a lot of weight especially around her tummy. How do we navigate this, I'm assuming it's a combo of puberty and less exercise due to lock down., her 2 sisters are very slim and she is comparing herself. I really don't want to set her up with any negative body image. She has a healthy but balanced diet so does have sweets etc occasionally . I don't particularly want to stop this as it would be obvious if her sisters still get them. She has mine and dhs sisters frame and her sisters take after my mum and sister. Having grown up being the biggest female in the family and being told this, I'm really concerned about how to help her. Thanks

OP posts:
TheMarzipanDildo · 06/03/2021 19:14

Is she actually overweight? Quite possibly about to have a growth spurt at that age. I know I put weight on on my stomach at around that age and it had redistributed by about 15.

HowLongTo2022 · 06/03/2021 19:17

See how things go after lockdown. Our middle one has put on “lockdown weight”each lockdown and lost it when lockdown has finished and I’m sure will this time too.

Original poster
004aga · 06/03/2021 20:44

Yes she is overweight now, but yes could be due a growth spurt. I will see how things settle after lock down too. Just wondered if anyone had any tips to deflect the worry that she has that she is bigger without blowing it put of proportion if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Imapotato · 06/03/2021 21:22

Has she started her periods and had her last big growth spurt yet? If not I wouldn’t worry too much, she’ll most likely shoot up and slim down.

Dd2 is bigger built than dd1. I try not to say anything as I don’t want her to be self conscious. She’s 13, but started her periods two years ago and hasn’t grown in height for over a year. I wouldn’t call her fat, she doesn’t have a big tummy or anything like that, but where her sister is tall and slim, she is short and solid, with big boobs (just like my mum). She’s active and otherwise healthy and she isn’t getting bigger, so I’m just letting her be for now, as I think it’s just her build. No point making an issue of it at this point anyway.

Christmasfairy2020 · 07/03/2021 17:59

What does she weigh and height. My dd is 5ft2 and 8stone5 she is over weight. I got her a bike Xmas and bought brown bread etc. Encouraged healthy food. Not working like and she is under weight management as I rang them and took her.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 07/03/2021 18:09

004aga you'll get a run of people trying to convince you there's no such thing as puberty weight gain and that you need to make her take up jogging and cut out everything but cucumber and tomatoes any minute - please, please ignore them (I suspect you're sensible Grin )

My DD did put on puppy fat at 11 or 12 and is a very slim, athletic nearly 16 year old now. Like you I'm very aware of not creating eating disorders or low self esteem as my own mother did a prize winning job of giving a large family of daughters each their own disordered eating pattern - ironically it was the golden child endlessly praised for her slimmness worst impacted with lifelong anorexia which came close to ending her life in her late teens - making an issue actually impacts all the daughters (potentially boys too, but especially sisters) because if the slim one ever puts on half a stone she has so much more at stake than the one who's always been told she's "solid" ...

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 07/03/2021 18:10

Essentially what I did was nothing. Love her for herself - it sorted itself out.

Chimoia · 07/03/2021 18:16

Boys put on muscle at puberty and girls put on fat, which is necessary for reproductive function. Encourage healthy habits and positive self esteem - based on caring for their body, feeling accomplished in a range of areas and relationships - in ALL of your children.

itssquidstella · 07/03/2021 18:20

I got quite pudgy at 12 and then grew 11 inches in two years (was 5'0" at the end of Y7 and 5'11" by the end of Y9). It may be that she's gearing up for a massive growth spurt.

itssquidstella · 07/03/2021 18:21

(Most of that growth happened between summer Y8 and winter Y9 - I think I grew 7 inches in six months!)

Mumof1andacat · 07/03/2021 18:23

Christmasfairy2020 - how old is your daughter? I think being 5ft 2 and 8 and half stone sounds quite a healthy weight. I'm 5ft and have been 9 stone most of my life and I'm not over weight. I wear a size 10 a
or a 12

Original poster
004aga · 07/03/2021 18:48

Thank you for all of your messages.

To clarify, I haven't said anything to her about it, but she has made comments comparing herself to the others, which is why I wanted some advice. My mother has in the past made comments to me, which still affect me to this day nearly 30 years later.

I'm not sure what she weighs, over 8 stone. She is 5ft 2ish. She hasn't started her periods but has started developing boobs etc., she hasn't had a massive growth spurt yet just seems to get taller.

Thank you, you have all reassured me that it's in the realm of normal. We do a lot with self esteem with them all, but particularly her as she was badly bullied through primary school which knocked her self confidence a lot. We have worked really hard to help her overcome it which is partly why I worry when she is negative. Maybe more so because of this history.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
Imapotato · 07/03/2021 20:06

@Christmasfairy2020

8st5 and 5ft2 isn’t over weight for a 12/13 year old. So unless they are younger than 12 then I’d not make an issue of your dds weight, she sounds fine.

Dd2 is almost 9st and 5ft2. However she has been this exact same height and weight for over a year and as her age goes up she gets closer to being a healthy weight. She is currently only just about above her healthy weight bracket. I’m not concerned. She may only be just 13, but is more like a 15 year old in terms of physical development as she started purity so young (had C cup boobs aged 10, now DD/E). If she stays the same height and weight in a years time she’ll no longer be classes as being over weight. My sister has always struggles with eating disorders and body image, so I don’t want to make her feel she must be thinner.

OP, as I previously said, loads of the dds friends were a bit podgy at 12, then shot up and skimmed down at 13. You’re doing the right things and I’m sure your dd will be fine.

Christmasfairy2020 · 07/03/2021 20:17

@Imapotato @Mumof1andacat she was 11 on her birthday in jan. She has gained 1 stone in 6 months (weight management said) she starts swimming again soon hopefully and she is stage 7 so she is quite active init. Xx

Imapotato · 07/03/2021 20:23

@Christmasfairy2020

I see, as she’s only 11 I guess she is slightly over weight. Hopefully she too will shoot up and slim down soon. It’s hard the moment as they are so much less active. At least they are back to school next week so will naturally start to move more again!

RaReRoRu · 07/03/2021 20:29

I'm sorry I have nothing helpful to add but here for advise for a similar situation with dd Thanks

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