Early intervention for eating disorders

[kittykat22]

My dd(12) has been skipping meals/eating very little over the last week. When I asked her about she said she thinks she's fat...she is not. I'm worried sick and don't know what to do for the best. Everything I read says early intervention is best so I will contact the gp. But does anyone know if this is guaranteed to evolve into anorexia or is there a chance we can reverse it at this stage?

The earlier the better. I think you can reverse it at this stage. Have you had as look at the BEAT website? There are some useful leaflets that you can email to your GP.

We're going through similar with my dd atm. Lockdown has been the perfect environment for eating disorders to develop - there's been a real increase in ED in the last year.

No guarantee at all I’m afraid but sensible to explore if there are anxiety or MH issues
Don’t let her know your worried sick,try be your regular self
Have some 1:1 affirmative times, don’t particularly discuss food. I know that seems counter intuitive but you don’t want food to be a thing

It may simply be peer pressure, or body image worries but it’s good to be aware

Thanks, yes I had a quick look at Beat yesterday but will look into it more. She's had anxiety in the past and it feels similar in that she's not really listening to what we are saying about it, it's like we can't get through properly. I'm trying to be my usual self around her. She's been outside with a friend all day today so I'm hoping that will have helped her.

What is her current weight and height. Buy more fruit and just don't make a fuss. Encourage her to eat when hungry. Buy more chicken and cous cous x

Definitely take this seriously - our 13 yr old dropped weight rapidly due to growth rate and buying into diet culture. Energy deficit led to rapid mental health decline and behaviours, a rapid spiral downwards. Food restoration took months / years to rebuild and she's now finally back to her good old self now. Eating Disorders are the most dangerous as 1 in 5 die and another 2 out of 5 go chronic - best prognosis is young and early intervention and I know this sounds perverse but to get one now is far better than latter as IF caught early and confronted assertively is far far more treatable. GPs can be ignorant of this specialist subject please read Eva Musby's book and visit Feast Around the Dinner Table website. Only evidence based approach the Maudsley method is effective and you as parents must assertively take controls of her regular eating - plate food and prescribe it as essential medicine. Please please don't just cross fingers and hope okay as will likely get worse at a pace without rapid intervention ahead of lumbering NHS system (albeit do please push that too). Trust your instincts, and please read up on above resources. Children grow so fast if not eating enough decline is rapid and every day you don't intervene makes recovery longer and harder and takes twice as long . Well done for detecting this possibility trust your instinct all is not well and as I say fast and assertive intervention really works at this age and sorry having gone through this with our DD just serving food and hoping all okay is not enough - you need to be clear it must be eaten. This moment is transformative and you can make a real difference by confronting this early, getting it out there as something you as a family tackle as EDs are manipulative and thrive in secrecy. You and family are her best hope - not the cause - and so much relies on addressing this urgently not waiting, and Eva's book plus Feast website are all you need along with a tenacious push re NHS as support scarce and slow to get to specialists as NHS only helps once too late and weight far far too low. Absolutely impressed you thinking what to do as this horrid condition must not be allowed to escalate and she needs you now more than ever to ensure full nourishment no ifs or buts despite protestations putting weight back on crucial as is getting used to good portion sizes. By way of immediate action 3 milk drinks (or cheese snacks) in between main meals and distracting after eating by being together chatting or watching tv for half an hour is a good move. They blame themselves after eating once an ED gets a grip. Milk and dairy more rapidly absorbed into system . The brain follows the body so you cannot afford to let weight decline whatever it takes. Good luck thinking of you and hope you read Musby's book and visit feast website.

It's amazing that you have noticed it early, my daughter did similar at a little older. I watched a few documentaries/ did some reading and came away very inspired to tackle it early for the reasons mentioned above. Basically its easier to get them to eat than to get them to want to eat. I made sure everything was her favorite, preferable with added/ maximized oil/ cream/ butter/ cheese and that meals, especially breakfast, were all laid on. It seems to be working after a pretty hairy year. Did access counselling too via school very quickly.

@julievive thanks very much. I will go and look into those resources right now. I'm determined to try and get this sorted now and try to prevent it happening again if possible. She is back to eating properly now after a slow build up over a few days. I haven't spoken about it again as I don't want to spook her but I will revisit it once we've been back on track longer. I've been letting her and her sister eat alone some evenings with the tv on etc just to reduce pressure. I've been sticking to foods I know she'll eat and offering ice cream etc for pudding to get the calories in. I think she was having a bad week and feeling anxious as her mood this week is loads better and she's just looking more like her old self. I'd let bed time slip which I know doesn't help. Thanks all for the advice. This episode has really scared me but I'm on a mission now to boost her self esteem at the same time as keeping the food and good nutrition going.

You are super being on front foot, wish I'd had your early stage awareness of what can if not jumped on become rather terrifying. Best of luck and much admiration for your exemplar parenting 🤗

Ps in our house ice cream chocolate in fact literally any food is now all very healthy good food - richer the better!
At least we all get to enjoy that too 🤣 as after all this it's changed our whole families attitude as energy deficit at that age is scary

Hi @kittykat22 - please do come and join us on the teen eating disorder thread (we're on our second now) - lots of advice and support and a space to scream into the darkness for when thats needed too
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4168981-Teen-Eating-Issues-Disorders-Support-Thread-2?msgid=105408920

Don’t rely on you GP or CAHMS.
Locally they have weight related policies to gatekeep treatment which means that you can’t necessarily access early/ enough ongoing treatment.

Get her friends on board
Check the websites she has been looking at

Tell the school

I second @myrtleWilson - come on over.

In the mean time, 3 meals and 3 snacks each day. Fortify what she has by adding extra cream, oil, etc. Basically the opposite of any diet you've heard of.

Thanks everyone. Not sure about exemplar parenting, I just went into a panic mode to be honest.

Have checked websites and history, can't see anything.

Thanks for the thread link too.

I think I'd like to know what I can do to possibly prevent it in the future...talk about it or not? Boost self esteem, educate her on nutrition and how it affects her body? Talk about body image/social media or all of these things!?

I think that will depend on her personality and what has been driving her apparent lack of appetite.

If she has just got the wrong end of the stick, then telling her that she's got a lot of growing to do, needs about 2400 calories per day (NHS site states this), etc., will help. But if she is fearing the bodily changes, that will be the very worst thing to focus on.

I think just trying to be there for her and follow her cues when she's talking will help. She is probably heading for a growth spurt and is starving all the time. That's normal, but if she's got pressure from messages she's heard, it might be a struggle.