Snapchat

[fluckityfluckfluck]

Dd is turning 13 and campaigning hard to have Snapchat. She has Instagram and WhatsApp already so I really feel there's no need for another platform and when I used it briefly it was horrendous. I was newly single and on line dating and it was nothing but an excuse for men to send vile videos and photos.

She says you can get the messages not to delete and disable the map location function but I really don't like it. Am I bring over protective?

You have to be 13 to use the app and she is. However I would 100% make sure she turns maps off.

You can set it so messages don't delete, but photo snaps don't stay forever, and also the person on the other end of the conversation can change the setting to delete if they wish - both have the power to change it, and it changes for both of them.

Don’t do it.

I personally would let her, as this is the main form of communication now for the kids. I would completely make sure her snap maps are off however x

I'd say the main issue you need to be worried about is her mental health on that app. Snap maps can be off and she can only talk to be people she's added back as a friend. But she'll probably be feeling left out and you don't want that so I'd say let her but maybe limit her time on it

@ramidad123 agree. This is a mental health issue. I guess it depends on where you live and the wider circle but My ds had it a short while and was bombarded with requests. This is not a healthy or beneficial app in any way. I also don’t accept the argument that all the kids have it and it’s the way they chat. Lots of kids do NOT have it and somehow find other means of communicating.
Why are we as parents teaching our kids that they have to be available 24/7.

I don't know what to do. I don't want her not fitting in - she joins a new form when school return on Monday and hasn't had an easy time socially.

I don’t even see how this is a question after your own experience. I completely understand your anxiety about her not fitting in but isn’t the teenage argument for anything and everything always that EVERYONE has X, EVERYONE is allowed Y and so on?!

@Ellbell24

I personally would let her, as this is the main form of communication now for the kids. I would completely make sure her snap maps are off however x

Agree! Switch off the mapping feature as that'll stop any unwanted attention. Maybe even talk to them and check they understand how Snapchat works and why they want it when they have instagram (SC and IN have similar features).

Thanks. I guess if she only accepts friends she knows it should be ok...

I let my dd13 as she preferred to message people individually rather than having the pressure to ‘sell’ yourself as they do on Instagram. It Worked out well for about a month but she seemed to be spending a ridiculous amount of time on it. She has 2 hours of screentime a day and kept begging me for an extra 15 mins over and over. We had agreed beforehand that she would only add friends she knows in real life and I told her to get her friends to WhatsApp her instead if she wants to continue conversations. Later that night her phone kept ringing while she was in bed which it never usually does and it was a boy about 5 years older than her. I did a quick spot check on her phone and realised she had been sexting complete strangers and given him her number. She had also had a few dick pics sent to her. I have limited her Snapchat screentime to 10 mins a day since then and she hasn’t argued about that. I think she initially enjoyed the thrill of flirting and it all spiralled from there.