@Anordinarymum
Do anything in your power to make him stop. It will ruin his young life, and his grades at school, and your family life will always be frought.
Other factors come into smoking weed such as dropping his friends and getting new ones who are not interested in school who will bring him down to a new level, possibly introducing him to petty crime to pay for the weed smoking.
I have seen this happen and it is a shame.
What a dramatic and unhelpful post.
Weed is everywhere- most teenagers will smoke it at some point, some more than others.
Parents are powerless to an extent, yes you can issue punishments and consequences, stop their money etc, but ultimately if a teen wants to smoke weed, they will do it regardless.
The best thing you can do is arm yourself with information and work on your relationship with your teen to ensure channels of communication are open.
My son smokes weed several times a week. I hate it, but I know I can’t stop it. He used to be like your son, aggressive, smash things up abusive etc. In the past year I’ve stopped battling with him. I stopped reacting by punishing him, removing his privileges and stopping his money etc. I started telling him how I felt. I told him how I worried he would try harder drugs, how it can effect his mental health etc.
I now have a good relationship with him. He talks to me, he generally is quite pleasant and we haven’t had an explosive out burst for a long time.
He’s told me he wouldn’t touch harder drugs as they are ‘dirty’, he has suspected ADHD and he says it helps him ‘chill’ and relax.
As I say, I don’t like what he’s doing at all but at least we have a communication. That’s where I would start, try and find out why he’s doing it, do you think the anxiety and outbursts are a result of the weed smoking or would he have these issues anyway? If he was a straight A student it’s possible he’s feeling like a failure?
Is it possible all these interventions are making him feel overwhelmed? I ask because like you, we had support from school and were involved in so many agencies to try and get him help, but looking back I think this just made him feel like a problem, especially when he refused to comply with anyone or anything.
As I said, he smokes weed, I don’t like it, but we have a reasonable relationship, and there’s no secrecy or outbursts now which of course is a big improvement to how things were.