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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS15 refusing to return to school, just got a job

32 replies

CathyTurnbull · 19/02/2021 21:04

Not sure how I feel, so after some perspective. DS yr 11 hates school and struggled for a while even before lockdown. He’s not an academic child and has behavioural issues because he can’t cope with the classroom environment. He has been a different child since he hasn’t been able to attend school, pleasant, funny and chatty compared to really moody and explosive before.
His friends Dad owns a local business and today he has been helping in the warehouse for a couple of hours with his friend earning a few quid. He has plans to work his way up into a sales role eventually after chatting with friends Dad. He has already sat his GCSE maths and English and is working on his Btec business at home.
He has told me he is not going back to school ever and he wants to work instead.
Part of me feels really proud he’s doing something productive and used his initiative but part of me feels he should be going back to school, but given how much he hates it and how disruptive he is that seems futile?

OP posts:
Ilovemaisie · 19/02/2021 21:25

From a legal point he won't be permitted to work many hours. As it's a warehouse there are probably age related health and safety stuff too. The employer is basically breaking a lot of rules.
Your son technically could be deregistered and be self homeschooled while working part time - but if the employer is willing to break the laws on employment hours then that's not good.

Ilovemaisie · 19/02/2021 21:26

Gov.uk.org should have all the rules for 15/16 year olds and employment.

Ilovemaisie · 19/02/2021 21:27

Sorry just 'gov.uk' there's no org.

Wtfdidwedo · 19/02/2021 21:36

When is he 16 and where do you live? In Wales you can work 40 hours a week from the last Friday in June I think it is, but the law is different in England and other areas. He won't be able to work as much before that time though.

Some people just aren't academic. Having Maths and English at GCSE is the minimum requirement for a lot of jobs and he could get an apprenticeship or something further down the line.

yeOldeTrout · 19/02/2021 21:41

Does he literally only have the 2 GCSEs done?
What grade did he get in them?

I can't imagine fighting him getting the job, he obviously has self-motivation, don't undo it. Would want to try to get him to finish school with more than 2 GCSEs, though.

MotherExtraordinaire · 19/02/2021 21:45

@Ilovemaisie

From a legal point he won't be permitted to work many hours. As it's a warehouse there are probably age related health and safety stuff too. The employer is basically breaking a lot of rules. Your son technically could be deregistered and be self homeschooled while working part time - but if the employer is willing to break the laws on employment hours then that's not good.
Legally and can work from 16 I believe, though some organisations will say 17 or 18 because of their own policies. Likewise some would require forklift licence etc. Presumably if its a friend's dad, he doesn't mind. However, as a parent I'd be concerned that he has the appropriate health and safety training, boots etc. As well as be on an apprenticeship scheme. Howevwr, if he's y11, regardless of behaviour he's required until at least Easter to be in school, so the business qualification needs completing or transferring 2 somewhere he can. And your elikely to have the educational welfare officer (ss) chasing up lack of attendance and depending on history, be fined potentially.
FlyingByTheSeatof · 19/02/2021 22:04

Well he's passed his most important GCSE's if he has passed them, Eng and Maths.

If not passed then he must keep trying till he does for any future choices he may choose to make whilst it's all fresh in his head.

He's quite lucky I think to have a job via his friends dad that he likes. Just let it pan out and see where it takes him. He can always go back to studying at any time and age of his life so dont worry about that side of things.

Hazelnutlatteplease · 19/02/2021 22:09

It's not legal. Gov website here he needs to be in some form of education or apprenticeship

Original poster
CathyTurnbull · 19/02/2021 22:19

He’s almost 16 and we are in Wales. He’s allowed to work a few hours a week. I’m not concerned about his employer ‘ breaking employment rules’, I feel grateful he’s been given an opportunity to be honest.
I think given the fact he’s not academic and unlikely to do that well in exams maybe this is the right thing for him. The more I think about it the more I’m coming around to the idea.

OP posts:
Wtfdidwedo · 19/02/2021 22:23

I can't imagine there would be much follow up during these "unprecedented times" to be honest. He likely won't be back until after Easter given Drakeford's announcement and it's legal for him to leave and work full time as of June 30th so I'd let him go for it. My neighbour's son was similar, he's doing really well plastering at 18 now.

Ilovemaisie · 19/02/2021 22:35

The only thing I would be concerned about is if there were any accidents in the warehouse he might not be covered by insurance.
But as others had said he only has until June 30th and then he is free of statutory school attendance age. Maybe do as many hours as legally permitted part time now and then past June just go for it.

eddiemairswife · 19/02/2021 22:37

Go for it. Some young people are really ready for work at that age, and, unlike years ago, they can always go back into education.

seven201 · 19/02/2021 22:46

But he's so close to being at the end of year 11. Isn't it May when most schools start study leave? He just needs to get through a couple of months and hopefully he'll get a few more GCSEs then can find a job.

Bargebill19 · 19/02/2021 22:52

School doesn’t ‘work’ for everyone. We are all different. If he’s got work and is happier (and it’s legal) why not? He’s got a work ethic and is happy. Education can still continue, should he wish, albeit alongside employment.
We used to have apprenticeships, night schools and adult education - so hardly a new concept.
Good luck to him!

MadameTuffington · 20/02/2021 11:20

@CathyTurnbull

Not sure how I feel, so after some perspective. DS yr 11 hates school and struggled for a while even before lockdown. He’s not an academic child and has behavioural issues because he can’t cope with the classroom environment. He has been a different child since he hasn’t been able to attend school, pleasant, funny and chatty compared to really moody and explosive before. His friends Dad owns a local business and today he has been helping in the warehouse for a couple of hours with his friend earning a few quid. He has plans to work his way up into a sales role eventually after chatting with friends Dad. He has already sat his GCSE maths and English and is working on his Btec business at home. He has told me he is not going back to school ever and he wants to work instead. Part of me feels really proud he’s doing something productive and used his initiative but part of me feels he should be going back to school, but given how much he hates it and how disruptive he is that seems futile?
It is great to hear that some kids are flourishing out of school - it’s also fantastic that he’s enthusiastic about work - loads to be positive about - not least, regaining a good relationship with your son.

Legally, it might be tricky - I would advise an open and frank discussion with the pastoral team, Head of Year etc about the way forward - you may find they let him attend part time.

smartiecake · 23/02/2021 09:48

I'm jumping in here from an England perspective as I don't know the rules in Wales.
I can tell you in England this is totally illegal. A child is legally in Yr11 until the end of June of their Yr11. It doesnt matter if their birthday is 1st Sept of their Yr11 they are still legally a school pupil until the end of June. They are only allowed to work very restricted hours around school and some hours at the weekend.
Speak to your sons school. You may find it is the same. Also he will be getting other GCSE'S this year without the exams so he needs to be attending school for the teachers to have evidence for his grades. He would be employed illegally in the UK and not covered by any employer liability insurance.

smartiecake · 23/02/2021 09:50

That should say he would be employed illegally in England, not UK

Jakc · 23/02/2021 09:54

Let him leave, there’s more important things in life that exam qualifications. He always has the option of doing further GCSE’s at collage if he wants them later. It would be different if he didn’t have a job to go to, but in his situation and with the change in him as a person I’d definitely let him

Soontobe60 · 23/02/2021 09:56

@CathyTurnbull

He’s almost 16 and we are in Wales. He’s allowed to work a few hours a week. I’m not concerned about his employer ‘ breaking employment rules’, I feel grateful he’s been given an opportunity to be honest. I think given the fact he’s not academic and unlikely to do that well in exams maybe this is the right thing for him. The more I think about it the more I’m coming around to the idea.
If he’s working in a warehouse and the employer is ‘breaking the rules’ as you say, he’s not actually working, he’s being exploited. Not something you should be grateful for.

I’d be telling him he has to complete the year - but he can leave as soon as permissible - and I’d be speaking to his employer about taking him on officially as an apprentice as soon as legally possible, with perhaps offering him some part time work in the meantime - done legally of course. That way, your ds has something to look forward to and his last few weeks will fly by. Just dont let him be exploited any more than he’s already being.

confusedbeyond · 23/02/2021 09:59

In Wales you can leave at 16 but you have to complete the year. The last Friday in June is when he can legally leave school.

parietal · 23/02/2021 10:01

let him leave & get a job for a few years.

but remember he can always keep reading & learning out of school & can always go back to studying later.

This book is an example of a guy who dropped out of education but later went back
The Shepherd's Life: A Tale of the Lake District
by James Rebanks

Original poster
CathyTurnbull · 24/02/2021 23:25

He’s not being exploited at all what a strange thing to say

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 24/02/2021 23:35

I think he needs to be in some sort of training until he is 18 - so day release at college or something?

I agree with you that he's done well to start working & that school isn't for everyone. The alternative is that he sits moping in his room playing Xbox.

Seasidemumma77 · 24/02/2021 23:52

I'm having same issue with my yr11 DS. I've arranged a telephone meeting with school, to see if we can find a way forward.

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