Sneaking electronics and lying

[helpmabobby]

Not sure what to do.

This is the third time in a month my 15 year old has tried to trick me when handing in his laptop at night. He sneaks me his brother’s old one and hopes I don’t notice.

He needs it for school tomorrow.

When school is finished, he spends a huge amount of time on it. Watching Netflix, YouTube, gaming. Might meet up with a friend for a quick walk but that’s it. Refuses to come out in a walk with me.

The last time he got caught I confiscated it for a day.

Not sure what’s best to do? He’s in gcse year and feeling the pressure of everything so I have gone easier on him than I normally would...He doesn’t game on the PlayStation at the moment, it’s all laptop and phone.

Any advice welcome. Be gentle please!

@Calyptus76 I read a book 5 or 6 years back about the impact of devices on social skills and what you describe is textbook www.amazon.co.uk/Growing-Up-Social-Relational-Screen-Driven/dp/0802411231?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 and it did give strategies about reestablishing some normality .
Mind you, the situation in 2021 is far worse that it was in 2015, but I find it interesting (minus the God talk present from time to time)

@MarshaBradyo it is more babies watching YouTube but I do wonder sometimes with mothers on their phones in parks, beaches, or walking and not looking at their children or interacting with them. Even if the child is facing forward, you can talk with them, they can feel your interest www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/

Cormoran true now I think of it I walk and talk even if forward facing

Before Covid hit at playgroup seeing paid cc on phones put me off - maybe it was their break - but felt for dc

Just use some parental control app/software to limit the maximum screen time during the day and block the device at night, on both laptop and phone.
Windows and Apple already have a built-in parental control in the settings (for a good reason), for Android phones you have to download Family Link. These are free, basic ones, then there are a lot of others more complete for a fee. For the time limit the free ones are enough, all you have to do is just activate it!

As others I think nowadays for teens it's even really too hard to manage that by themselves since socials and all the similar stuff are so addictive (made specifically for that), alienating and sadly commons. Meanly technology is a good thing, to a certain extent, excess and bad use makes it really malicious and often teens, beyond good intentions, are unable to manage it.

Hi OP

I'm in the same boat with my 14 yr old.

I have just removed the PS4 indefinitely because of salty attitude and bad school grades.

We have half day online school ATM and so our routine is to double check homework and then get outside in the mornings. Homework after school. He then would just PS4 FIFA for the rest of the day. It drove us to distraction. But he also YouTubes whilst online school.

Before online school the PC/ laptop was a place of leisure. Now it's become work. It's hard to shift that muscle memory.

I've also started encouraging cooking with me.

It's a battle many of us are facing and screen addiction is clearly a thing.

Good luck 🤞