is the government failing our teens

[novaparty12]

Don't the government owe it to our teens to somehow get children back to school?? Either on a rota basis or year by year. I so worry about their mental health my kids are hard workers and in their rooms on their computers all day then evening on facetime to their friends. Getting them outside for a walk is a military operation they have both lost all interest in the world outside and haven;t seen anybody outside the house since before the xmas holidays. Neither of them are getting tired and can't sleep before midnight. If schools don't open until after easter I feel so many children are going to have been let down. I understand the seriousness of the pandemic but so hard seeing two active children just shut sway from the world.

I have a Y12 and a 1st year uni student.

It feels as though they have been totally forgotten.

The exams fiasco last year nearly finished both of them. My DS missed out on his first choice for uni because of it. They both missed out on the usual summer of fun after exams. No friends really since March of last year.

DD did at least get a term of school from September - luckily her school had very few cases.

DS was sent off to uni being told that everything was as normal. He ended up with virtually everything on line, being isolated in a flat with 5 other lads that he had neve met before, not being able to mix with other flats, having to try and do group coursework via zoom with complete strangers. And then catching covid. He did come home for Christmas, but was told by his uni that his course was on the original list of subjects that could go back, went back, and then the government shortened the list to medical only so he is now stuck in lockdown at uni with very few other students about (only 3 in his flat). And he is paying £9250 for the experience.

DD is now stuck at home trying to cope with online lessons 8.30-3.45 every day. And then homework. And socialising with her friends online. I'm not sure when they are expected to get any exercise or fresh air.

Teens do seem to have been really badly impacted, with no consideration from the Government at all.

we can’t just chuck kids back into school as they were in the autumn term. It was Covid soup in there and never going to work long term

I think this remains true

Teens are being very overlooked. I don't think they can just be magicked black into school, and I think the risks of teen vector for 'armistice wave' is one that cannot be overlooked.

When do they expect to vaccinated everyone up to and including category 6 (the clinically vulnerable)? Because I was wondering if the roles of schools as vectors might be less important once they are done (and once the general community transmission is lower)

@Seeline

I have a Y12 and a 1st year uni student.

It feels as though they have been totally forgotten.

The exams fiasco last year nearly finished both of them. My DS missed out on his first choice for uni because of it. They both missed out on the usual summer of fun after exams. No friends really since March of last year.

DD did at least get a term of school from September - luckily her school had very few cases.

DS was sent off to uni being told that everything was as normal. He ended up with virtually everything on line, being isolated in a flat with 5 other lads that he had neve met before, not being able to mix with other flats, having to try and do group coursework via zoom with complete strangers. And then catching covid. He did come home for Christmas, but was told by his uni that his course was on the original list of subjects that could go back, went back, and then the government shortened the list to medical only so he is now stuck in lockdown at uni with very few other students about (only 3 in his flat). And he is paying £9250 for the experience.

DD is now stuck at home trying to cope with online lessons 8.30-3.45 every day. And then homework. And socialising with her friends online. I'm not sure when they are expected to get any exercise or fresh air.

Teens do seem to have been really badly impacted, with no consideration from the Government at all.

My sympathies to both your dc. My dd is final year uni, and it's spectacularly shit. I'm not sure she would have survived first year, so your young adult is doing well.

The ongoing ups and downs of the Pandemic is failing our children - the Gov is just part of that.

I am in weekly phone contact with my daughter’s HoY (yr. 10) as she is doing minimal work and has become surly and nocturnal (she was baking a cake at 4am today:/) - despite my best efforts after a relatively positive start, she has all but ‘checked out’. She’s really bright and loved being at school - now teen angst and hormones have engulfed her. She is still venturing out once or twice a week with a friend for walks and in spite of her lack of school work, I feel she must be allowed to have that face-to-face contact with her mate.

It really is shit for them - I believe part time return for year groups is the best option.

We do not, however, know what delights (or otherwise) are around the corner and need to tread carefully. In all honesty I don’t really think anyone knows what the fuck they are going to be doing 6 months down the line 🤗

I believe part time return for year groups is the best option

That would be good. Before summer they had the year 11s and 13s in only part time in small groups of 6...no covid seemed to be caught and at least it was something...

Seeline. I have the same combination. Yr12 dd and 1st yr uni ds. He did actually take a gap yr last night where travelling was cut short by 2 months and £1400 worth of flight fares lost

He is at home, just started ad's. Was fined £75 last term for talking to people from the opposite flat (not in his bubbled flat) and was told if he does It again will be chucked out of uni. He is now paranoid about going back because he has heard there are security people patrolling his halls preventing anyone socialising. Everything online. No good enough friends to want to share a house with next year as he hasn't been there long enough and didn't fall on his feet with flat mates like some do.

Teaching for dd has been crap. Powerpoints and links that don't work.

It is terrible and I agree that teens are suffering so, so badly.

@tarapinn

So sorry to hear how much your DS is suffering - it is truly awful. My DS despite everything seems to be coping. He went back to uni after Christmas (before lockdown was announced) because he said he worked better there. He luckily seems to get on with his flatmates, and they have found a house for next year. Security in halls does seem to be have been very tight - the layout at his place means that you can see into flats living areas from the landings on the opposite block and security have allegedly been counting the number of students in each flat!! It's like the KGB!!

I have a year 12 and a first year uni student. It feels like they've been totally forgotten

I am worried for my teens mental health too and the impact this is having on them mentally. There's no easy answer.

Yesterday one of my son's little friendship circle committed suicide. He was 19 and in his first year at university.He jumped in front of a train at our local station.

He showed very little indication of depression to his friends or family.
I have no doubt that the pandemic and coping with working online, no socialising, being so cut off. Teenagers are a vulnerable group, expected to be independent but lacking the emotional maturity to deal with everything or even talk about their feelings.

The consequences of this are devastating for some.

@SmileyClare

That is so sad I hope your son is OK.

I think you have made an important point - they like to think they are grown up at that age, but haven't yet learnt the skills to cope with the things that are being thrown at them, but feel that they should be able to cope on their own. Talking things through doesn't come easy.

I find it so difficult and teenagers are being treated differently to younger children ( I have both) and mine are beginning to suffer now, I don’t think this is fair on them at all and they appear to be very much forgotten.

Seeline thank you. He's not really ok. He won't talk about how he feels really with me, although he cried telling me last night.

He just wanted to stay in his room and he's gone to work today .

I feel devastated for the boys family. It's brought it home to me how vulnerable teens are and the fact they often don't have the life experience or tools to cope or adapt to this situation.

I know there's no easy solution but I'm very concerned about the fall out of our situation on this age group particularly.

@SmileyClare

Seeline thank you. He's not really ok. He won't talk about how he feels really with me, although he cried telling me last night.

He just wanted to stay in his room and he's gone to work today .

I feel devastated for the boys family. It's brought it home to me how vulnerable teens are and the fact they often don't have the life experience or tools to cope or adapt to this situation.

I know there's no easy solution but I'm very concerned about the fall out of our situation on this age group particularly.

I'm sorry to hear that too. One of dds friends committed suicidal 4 years ago just before her 18th birthday. Everyone was shell shocked, they got through it together, they can't even do that now, apart from online. Sometimes you need real hugs

Yeah I think the teenage years are tricky anyway. It's a big transition to adulthood, exam stress, important decisions and responsibilities. They are old enough to access all the news and understand the pandemic, not quite mature enough to rationalise it or cope mentally.

And teens seem to pull away from their parents and rely heavily on their friendship groups at that age, working out who they are, forming "tribes" almost.

This makes their isolation at the moment so worrying. They do thankfully have friends to talk to online but I agree dingit that human connection isn't there.

I definitely think it is failing them. This is a disaster for them and they are essentially losing a vital year of their lives. Sitting for hours on end alone with remote lessons, remote friends and in one of mines case no exercise. There has to be a balance and the current situation is very one sided. Another 6 weeks minimum, so depressing. Endless hours lying in bed, no real routine, try as one might to get one established. Even my 9 year old is all out of sorts and can't sleep etc. I just feel that families are not meant to be cooped up for weeks on end like this and it will have an impact there too. I feel so sad for them all. I agree, even just small groups meeting outside or grass roots sports to get up and running would make a huge difference and go some way to reducing some of the potential impact this is going to have on them all and the NHS trying to deal with their mental health in the long run.

I also have a year 12 & 1st year uni student.
Neither have coped well this year mentally. It has just started to impact the year 12 now w his mental health. The uni student went back as she was v much struggling at home not being able to see friends etc. She had Covid last term along w most of her uni friends!
They were both in great places this time last year seeing friends, going to parties, doing well w their studies and then it just abruptly stopped. For us oldies it’s boring but we can catch up afterwards- you’re not young forever.

My daughter is in Y13. She did really well at school in the autumn term. She was not sent home for one day because someone tested positive. She started revising for mock exams during Christmas holiday.
She was so upset when she school closed and exams were cancelled.
Every week this term I get an email from school that she didn't log in for 6-7 lessons a week. She completely lost motivation, says lockdown is forever and has nothing to look forward to.
My cousin lives in Russia. Schools have been opened there since September. Her children continued to do sport outside school. Everything has been opened. And yesterday they lifted restrictions on hospitality - they can now be opened after 23.00.
Lockdowns don't work, they just make people suffer.
Why cannot children play sport outside?
Nobody can explain that.

In Scotland where I am, until the recent harsher lockdown 6 teens were allowed to meet up outside. It was a real lifeline for DS14 who finds it awkward meeting one friend only.
Numbers are now just about down to pre Christmas level, but all the talk is about more restrictions, not getting back some of the outdoor activities.

OP - I could have written your post. My daughter is on one screen or another literally ALL day and I can barely even get her to step into the garden to feed our pets (it's a never-ending battle).

However, as I have written on another thread, from next week onwards I have staged an intervention and rented a horse for a month that she has to take care of 6 days a week (after school) at our nearby stable. If it gets her out of the house for two hours a day it'll be money well-spent. (She used to ride pre-lockdown so it's not a totally random activity)

My Y12 doesn't have much opportunity to leave the house at the moment! She has a full day of online lessons as per normal school timetable. They have a reasonably long lunch break but by the time she has eaten and had a chat with friends there isn't really time to do much else. She doesn't finish until 4, and has a good 2-3 hours of homework to complete. Even if she were to go for a walk after school it's cold and dark pretty soon, and the weather has been atrocious. She does manage a walk at hte weekends, but it's not really much.

Yes. Mine has online school all day and does Netflix the rest of the time. A bit of exercise but we're in a city and he won't walk round the park like us. School is in a different area so no local mates. So much time spent with us, it's unnatural! He's an only so he's getting no peer group at all- they don't even put cameras on at school. I think p/t school should have been made possible.

@Orangeblossom1977

I have two at secondary Year 7 and 11.This week school have a wellbeing day where they choose stuff off the screen to do and then say back later what they did. E.g.baking, painting, reading, running, think this is a good idea and hopefully they will do more if it continues.

Ours is doing the same next week. Seeing as DS just reads all weekend I don't see how it will be any different unless the school were allowed to organise an outside wellbeing day IRL.

Absolutely they have and are.

To be stopping people meeting up in small-ish groups with the same 'regulars' but leaving the borders to the country open with no quarantine or limitations for so long is like comparing the carbon footprint of leaving your lights on at home to the tonnes produced by industry.

Typical of this government to fail to make decisions, react at the last possible minute when there haven't really been any other choices and call it 'leadership'. Typical of them to restrict the actions of individuals when actions allowed on a mass scale have a far more detrimental impact.

And as for the exams/grading, I totally agree with a PP who mentioned that the system for grading this year AND next year (and potentially even the year after that) needs to take account of the incredible impact, not only to actual learning time and possible activities, but the unbelievable blow to every other aspect of their lives damaged by the events of the previous 12+ months and what is no doubt going to be continued interruptions and uncertainty for a long time to come.