6ft tall daughter

[snowey42]

Hi my daughter is 14 years old. 6ft tall & absolutely beautiful. However her whole life seems to revolve around being 6ft tall. She absolutely hates it. She feels uncomfortable when walking with her friends. She hates going shopping and is certain everyone is looking at her. She thinks she will never have a husband because she is to tall. I try so hard to tell her their are much worse things in the world than being tall, but we literally talk about this every single day. I hate the fact she is so obsessed with it, I have asked her to see a therapist but she refuses. In every other aspect of her life she is perfectly happy. I guess I am just lost as to what I can do to support. Any advice would be appreciated.

I think it's natural that she feels uncomfortable regarding her height now, but can guarantee in a few more years she will love it. I am tall, was one of the tallest, was desperate to just fit in, but now l love my height and the fact l can eat whatever l like and not worry. Saying that l am active.
Her confidence will grow, the self consciousness will fade. It is important to walk tall, l agree 're pilates, yoga etc, helps you learn to embrace your body.

I think the vast majority of teens are very self conscious about something- short, tall, acne, wonky teeth, very slim, big boobs... the list goes on and on! I think you just have to reassure her as much as possible but it is generally a phase that they go through

I have a younger sister who is pushing 6 foot, and even if that wasn't an issue, something else would be, so as others have said just reassure her. My girlfriend is 6'1 and she had a lot of the same angst when she was younger, but as I'm 6'2 so it really doesn't matter at all.

I am just under 5'4 so my height is fairly average/small, but as a teen I absolutely hated my body. I developed hips a good 3 or 4 years before I really got boobs. Looking back on myself I had a lovely figure but at the time I was so self conscious, I used to punch myself in the hips before I went to sleep every night in the hope I could train them to grow back inwards . I also went through a phase of wearing really padded bras to try and even myself out on top. I was convinced that everyone else around me was normal but that I was some kind of deformed out of proportion freak (I'm sorry for my language but this is how I thought back then). I was constantly looking at my reflection in any surface I could... I got called vain for that a few times but I hated myself in an extreme way.

It definitely helped me to see women with similar figures. I remember when Shakira first came out and she had a line in her song about her "small and humble" breasts... it really helped my confidence at the time. It took me until I was much older to stop negatively focussing on my appearance so much. It wasn't until I got pregnant actually, and then when I breastfed and felt like "ahh so that's what these things are for".

I know my hang ups were not the same as your dd's but I think it's comparable. I really feel bad for your dd and for all young girls going through something like this. It's so hard to be a teenager, especially a teenage girl I think (I'm sure boys have their own insecurities) and there will always be something we are unhappy with. I think it affects some of us more than others. I was never sporty and completely lacked coordination, but loved the outdoors and walking. However, I got so much harrassment from men that it put me off! I do think that getting involved in something that uses your body for what it can do, rather than how it looks, is key though. At least that was my experience and I wish it hadn't been pregnancy that did it for me... But some kind of fitness outdoor hobby, away from screens I think could be very beneficial. A hiking group perhaps if she isn't into sports... I don't know, but I am sure there is something. I plan to try and make sure my dd is involved in something fitness/sporty/outdoorsy related when she gets older anyway.

One thing I will say is my mum used to get anrgy at me if I ever mentioned my insecurities. She'd tell me that nobody would notice if I didn't mention the things I worried about - which made me feel as though I truly did have something wrong with me that I needed to be ashamed of and hide (and going on about her big boobs and small hips did not make me feel better either!) I definitely think reassurance is better than dismissiveness, but also like I said, trying to refocus away from how the body looks and more on to what the body can do.

(Sorry this is such a rambly post... have been ill with a fever and am not sure I'm fully compos mentis!)

Also if you want to do her a favour, keep her off Instagram amd all that kind of thing. Chatting with friends is obviously essential, so the WhatsApp and texts aren't a problem, but I see no benefits of young teens seeing all the nonsense that gets splattered across social media. I'm in my early 20s, amd the difference between me.and my younger sister is astonishing in terms of the usage of it- the directors of social media companies won't let their kids have it, so I think that says a lot!

I'm a 5'10 nner here! I think tall girls just need to time to grow into themselves. I was always a tall child and really, really hated it. I hated standing out, always being sent to the back row with the boys at school photo time, people thinking I was older than I was (and expecting me to be more mature as a result). Luckily, by the time I was a teen I liked my height, but it takes time and that differs from person to person.

Stick with the positive reinforced, even if they don't believe it.

Baggo, what a lovely post. You're absolutely right - most teens are beautiful but will always find something about themselves they're not happy with.

Hope you're feeling better.

@snowey42 Hope you and your DD are watching the Netball Superleague on Sky Sports (and YouTube) The 6 footers are diddy. They're all beautiful, athletic young women