I don't know what to do for my 14 y/o DD

[Foundmyfeet]

Hi all, any advice here would be greatly appreciated.

My DD has a history of anxiety and depression stemming from years of torment at school. She is currently in a new secondary school and has settled in nicely.

During the first lockdown she suffered massively from depression and had suicidal thoughts. She was referred to CAMHS and sees a counsellor fortnightly, but they do not "gel" with each other and there seems to be no progress. DD doesn't want to continue with it but I'm very reluctant for her to be discharged from the service because I know how difficult it is to be seen by them and with another lockdown, I worry she'll get worse. She understands my point of view on this and has agreed to continue with it.

This past week she has been suffering from anxiey; mainly due to her schoolwork load. Due to her anxiety she is unable to finish her work and meet deadlines, thus making her more anxious because she hasn't done her work! She's very studious and sets high expectations for herself. She hasn't been sleeping and twice this week she has asked me to come into sleep with her in the middle of the night. She's been vomiting too.

We've been going out for long walks, cooking, having movie nights etc. But she's not feeling any better. She burst into tears at 4am this morning saying how she hates feeling this way. I looked up Kalms tablets thinking that a good few nights sleep would help her but they are for 18 years and over.

I'm waiting for a call back from our GP this morning to see if she can help with anything. Anti-depressants were tried last year but had an adverse effect on her.

Has anyone been in this boat with their teen?

I have the same problem with my ds who is also 14. He is under CAHMS too for adhd.

I would suggest going back to CAHMS and making them aware of what she's going through and ask if there's anything they can do. I've done this because my ds won't do any school work or take any medication, they've said not to put too much pressure on him. Not very helpful!

Perhaps they could prescribe a small dose of melatonin so she can at least sleep. I agree that to lose her engagement with them would be a bad idea, but I would make full use of the service they offer.
I hope you get some help soon

My DD had periods of bad mental health from about age 12 - self-harming, disordered eating, anxiety that developed into school phobia and eventually (aged 17, first year at uni - not in U.K.) full blown depression.

She has been lucky to have good mental health professionals but antidepressants have been the single most helpful intervention. She takes sertraline and her dose had to be increased slowly/carefully as she had 4-5 weeks of quite intense side effects.

Which antidepressant(s) did your DD try?

I can't do links,but there's a thread in mental health for parents and carers of anxious children.its a non judgemental supportive thread

Rescue remedy is suitable,as is the night version.worth a try?

Have you talken to the school? Talk to someone in pastoral, head of year etc, she nedsatt a timetable adjutant so that she can feel successful in what she is doing.

I gave my now ds 17 seratonin when he was 15 with low moods, and my 14yo dd has used it too for a while to boost moods. Also act as a placebo I think. Works if there aren’t serious underlying issues.

Thank you all for replying. Apologies it's taken me so long to come back to the messages.

DD was on 20mg Fluoxetine for a few weeks but she couldn't keep any food down. We tried everything and then eventually her oesophagus became inflamed and she began to vomit up blood.

Some good news since Monday, I spoke with the head of year on Monday evening and she suggested DD goes back to school until lunchtimes to begin with so she went back today and (dare I say it), came home in a better mood!

There are only 11 children in her year group currently in attendance and they can all fit in one classroom with social distancing applied. There is (obviously) a teacher supervising and today it was her maths teacher which she was pleased with as she was having difficulty in her maths work.
She gets on better with boys and there are 9 boys and 1 other girl in the class so that helps too!
Because there are only 2 girls, the head of year invited them both to have tea/coffee/hot chocolate and biscuits at break time so DD and the other girl went along for that.
I really think this will help lessen her anxiety. I hope I'm not jinxing it by saying this out loud!

@weleasewoderick23 - thanks for the information. Never heard of melatonin. I will speak to the psychiatrist at CAMHS about it. I hope things work out well for you and your DS too.

@Mistigri - was your daughter taking Sertraline from 12 years old? I was told that fluoxetine (prozac) was the only anti-depressant prescribed for teens under 16. Would be good to know if she can try something else.

@Stilllivinginazoo - thanks for the heads up on the other thread. I will check it out. I have given her rescue remedy products but they don't seem to help her. A few nights ago we even tried the night time melts but she said they didn't work. I've given her magnesium and other multi-vitamins, sleep teas, lavender sprays and roll on's, I'm just fresh out of ideas!

@Bitsaver - I've been in regular communication with the school about DD. The school are fantastically supportive. I moved her specifically to this school because they are known for the care and support they provide.

@Ifeelmuchlessfat - I had no idea you could get seratonin on it's own. I take it it has to be prescribed by the GP?

@Foundmyfeet it’s actually Higher Nature Seratone 5-HTP, not prescription.

DD would have been 16 or 17 when she started sertraline, which doesn't help you unfortunately. How long was was your DD on Prozac? DD had lots of side effects for about 6 weeks, but she was off school for the whole of that term anyway, so she was able to deal with the side effects and eventually they went away (though she had more side effects when the dose was later increased).

Your school sounds really supportive which is good.

Wishing you all the best, it is really hard, especially during a lockdown when it's harder to access help :(